I have a friend who has been having a rough time lately. We’re in our early 20’s and I understand times are rough for people our age, but for her, I have a little extra sympathy. She’s made some self-admittable mistakes and I as a friend, I need to help her, but I need some advice from the dopers… I’ve never been in her situation so I don’t know where to start.
So about her: She’s not in college but she has a job. The job is part-time (all the hours she can get) My first thought is “Get a new job!” but that’s really not the best option because although she’d limited by hours, she gets a very good healthcare package where almost everything is covered. I was naive and stubborn in my testosterone filled response of “Get a better job!” but now I’m sympathetic and I honestly want to help her get on her feet.
She’s a smart girl and has an interest in helping people. We talked until the sun came up in the morning about what she wants to do in her life. I can tell childcare, teaching, taking care of the disabled is something that would make her genuinely happy in life. However, jobs like that don’t just ‘jump up’ especially in southern illinois.
I extended a helping hand to her because I would do anything for my friends. I’ve lent her money (and she’s paid me back on time, everytime!) She’s staying with me, currently and we both know it isn’t permanent. I hope to help her fillin some gaps.
She’s young, and her decisions spurred from a mistake by getting married at 19. She was in an abusive relationship and she was smart enough to leave his sorry A$$! I have a feeling that the abusive relationship she came from is a large factor contributing to why she can’t make ‘big decisions’ on her own. Although the marriage was short lived, it left a deep psychological scar.
At this point, i realize, I’m jumping around here… I apologize… please bear with me.
I suggested a LINK card (We’re in Illinois… Southern Illinois) Although this goes against what I stand for, I admit, she needs it. She’s just on the border of eligibility. I’m sure this could help her but I can tell she doesn’t want to be on it long term.
None of this really is long term though… Unless she gets a job and back on her feet… she obviously can’t stay with me forever! I know her intentions are good and I want to help her do anything I can to help. But I don’t know where to start.
Have any of you dopers any ideas? I’m sure someone’s been in her situation before or know someone who has… What can I do to help her, but more importantly what advice can I give her?
Thank you all!