Help me make fun of British food!

In My Humble Opinion
41

Mangetout Semolina is the smooth one.
I love semolina, tapioca, sago and that macaroni one that no-one in any other school ever seemed to get. I also have an abiding love for blancmange and jelly with custard. Yum. Having said that, though, our dinner ladies were fab and our school dinners were delicious.

If you are feeling brave, given your nasty memories of school puds, you might want to splash out and buy a tin oof the Ambrosia semoina in the supermarket, it is quite nice and made even better by a swirl of blackcurrant jam - but still nowhere near as nice as you can make at home.

Yes, I definitely belong to the “All these things are delicious if made properly by someone who knows that they are doing and used the proper ingredients” school of thought.

42

Some more silly-name British food (from memory, so expect slight errors)
Bangers
Jam Rolley Polley
Vindaloo
Onion Baji
Cock-a-leeki
Cullen Skink
Laver Bread
Stargazey Pie
Bread and Butter pudding

43

That’s a perfect description of every instance of Coronation Chicken I’ve ever seen. If it’s Cordon Bleu cooking, the Cordon Bleu chefs are keeping quiet about it, and I can understand why. Bleurgh.

44

So…calling food of Scottish, Irish or Welsh origin: ENGLISH wouldn’t quite fit the thread?

(Cuz most of the Merkins I know think of the entire UK as “England.” I know…I’m an infidel)

45

But seriously, as the Brits do have a thing for “pie” have you considered ‘quasi’-British food? Ala “hair pie”

46

I dunno…I like English food.

Hello?

47

There’s an old joke to the effect that airline food is the national cuisine of England. And Altoids are a British invention.

48

Ah, if semi-confectionery like ALtoiids can be included…well, there is always Fisherman’s Friends" too.
http://www.fishermansfriend.com/

49

I went to the source document for Coronation Chicken, The constance Spry Cookbook by CS and Rosemary Hume who later went on to run the Cordon Bleu and co-author their eponymous books with Muriel Downes.

I’m buggered if I’m typing the whole thing out but basically you poach your young roasting chicken in water and wine with carrot and a bouquet garni, salt and pepper.

You serve it in an oblong dish with cream of curry sauce.

Cream of curry sauce comprises onion, curry powder, tomato puree, red wine, bay leaf, salt, sugar, pepper, a slice or two of lemon, lemon juice, 1-2 tbsp apricot puree, 3/4 pint mayonnaise, 2-3 tbsp whipped cream.

This is an admirable sauce to serve with iced lobster.

On the next page is a truly ghastly concoction called Fruit Curry which involves tinned fruit. The next recipe is Banana and Melon Curry Winkfield.

50

I wasn’t aware of that joke. I’ve seen Altoids on sale, but only ever in the US. Now I seem to recall they market themselves as British. Googles Well I never. They are.

Some British people are also quite partial to “fur burger”.

51

“Fur Burger”??? Wow! That’s great! Are you making that up? That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m looking for! (About halfway down the page I posted again to explain my original intent in starting this thread) Thanks, jjimm, for posting the Gold! Is it really real? What is it?

52

Um…someone else explain that one.

53

I’m really sorry to shatter your illusions: eating “hair pie” and “fur burger” are both comedy euphemisms for cunnilingus. Though perhaps that might get a belly laugh from any Brits in your audience…

54

Though if that’s the sort of thing you’re after, you may like to be aware that “kipper” is sometimes used as a dyphemism for “vagina”.

55

As is “badly packed kebab”.