I had this idea a few years ago when I used to smoke weed. Although I don’t indulge anymore, I still think it would be a viable (read:marketable) concept. For those who are too high to get up off the couch, how about: The Stoned Channel! Just think - Domino’s, Visine and Frito Lay would be lining up to advertise. All I’d need would be about a jillion dollars and some original programming. And anything would work for the Stoned Channel. You could show a rerun of the Simpsons, and then after the first commercial break you could switch it to the second half of an entirely different episode, just to fuck with people! Or end the episode entirely after 10 minutes, and all the stoners would be saying, “Wait, did we miss the ending?” Anyway, it could be arty as hell or simply retarded, but I need some programs. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
A celebrity interview show, only instead of getting real celebs, we’ll just have people wearing masks of celebrity faces. Then we could cut through all the Hollywood bullshit and make them talk about things we really want to hear, like who’s a big ol’ whore or who Robert Downey’s sharing his crack with.
A sitcom that’s the same every week and lasts about 30 seconds. The plot: A middle-aged man in a business suit and a fedora walks in the door to a typical suburban home, where three other guys are sitting around the table playing poker. They all look up and each one in turn says “Hi, Ernie!” Ernie looks miserable, and one of them (Jebediah) asks: “How was your day, Ernie?” Ernie sighs and shakes his head, then removes his hat to reveal a big splotch of bird shit on his forehead. And you know what it’ll be called? “Bert”.
We could have a news program, with every show dedicated to nothing but news items about Woody Harrelson and Phish, and their responses to current events.
There could be a game show where homeless contestants play for McDonald’s gift certificates and cigarettes and new shopping carts and refrigerator boxes, or maybe not.
My friend Paul’s got an idea for a sitcom entitled “You’re The Ass!”, which is basically just a bunch of lame catchphrases attached to sub-“Three’s Company” plots, but the less said about this one the better. Trust me, it’s hilarious when you’re high, though.
So, Dopers (and dopers), anybody got any ideas? If I sell this to Ted Turner, I’ll cut you in, I promise.
The Monkees movie, “Head,” should be on the playlist. You might actually think it’s funny if you’re stoned.
Don’t forget the inevitable “Cool video effects we just figured out how to do with all this equipment in the studio” show.
With the occasional “Wow, look at these fractal graphics…”
Or you could just do a “Winamp plugin hour”.
Not missing it at all,
MrVisible
There used to be a Yule Log special every Christmas eve on NYC TV … don’t ask me the station. This thing would run for hours on end. It consisted (solely) of a crackling fire backed by holiday tunes … perfect for all the apartment bound folks without their own fireplace.
Why not take it a step further out into the twilight zone, and have channels that broadcast different views (not viewpoints, dammit), 24/7. There’d be a beach channel, a mountain stream channel, a tropical rainforest channel, blah blah blah … those same po folks without a view from their homes could tune into any alternate reality …
And advertising? Sheesh, no commercials. It would all be done with product placement. A can of Coke here, a bottle of Coors there …
I think you are insulting the average stoner’s intelligence. If you would program it with 24 hours of Science Mystery Theater, intercut with episodes from MTV’s Jackass you would have a hit on your hands.