Help me spend $1,000 on something "fitness-related"

Roland, did you decide yet?

I suppose a personal trainer would be OK, but a prostitute would be a lot more fun, and would burn as many calories.

Hookers and Blow.
It’s easier to demonstrate improvement if you’re further down the ladder.

If you live near the water, consider surfing. You’d be able to by a used longboard, wetsuit and lessons for 1K.