How much of a “body” is it?
If only a skeleton, I might reduce it to separate parts, & hide it in a University’s Anthropology Dept’s storage are, with smeared labeling tags, so they might think it was a sample from an archaeological dig.
How recently deceased are we talking here? Is there goo? If so, I’d just call the police and be done with it. If not, build a crate to contain the casket, load it up in the dead of night and find a nice place in the middle of nowhere to make it someone else’s problem. Or just burn the house down, collect the insurance, and move.
But under NO circumstance do I rebury it under my house.
Summary for those who didn’t watch the (relatively uninformative) video or read any articles about it:
The casket is about 120-140 years old, made of lead and bronze with glass windows, and was apparently hermetically sealed. It’s relatively small, and the body inside was a girl of about 3 years of age, extremely well preserved. (Descriptions say that her skin and hair were intact, along with the flowers she was buried with.) I gather that the seal was broken by medical examiners, and the body began to deteriorate quickly after that.
As to why it was there, Mangetout’s Poltergeist reference nailed it. The old cemetery in the area (Odd Fellows Cemetery, so I presume it was maintained by the fraternal organization) was moved out of the city to make way for new development. It wasn’t the only one, either; a 1912 city ordinance kicked all of them out, but the moves weren’t completed until the 1940s. It’s not too surprising that some bodies were missed in the midst of this protracted mass disinterment. So, yes, basically someone moved (or removed) some of the monuments while leaving the bodies behind. Substantial portions of San Francisco are therefore presumably poltergeist country.
Most of the bodies were moved to mass graves in Colma, an odd little necropolis that boasts a living population of less than two thousand…and a deceased population of nearly two million.
I wonder what the people who believe in reincarnation are thinking about that?
I’ve done this, repeatedly! Okay, just in thought experiments, on a semi-pro basis, but I have loads of locations to stick a stiff. In this case, call the cops. It’s obvious you didn’t kill her, and it saves trouble.
OTOH, if you have one who’s fresher… 
HOWEVER, who the fuck hasn’t seen Poltergeist? People who build–and buy–homes on graveyards.
And they are caught in a catch 22. They can’t re inter without a death certificate and you can’t get a death certificate for someone without a name who has been dead 120 years. I’m sure it will get sorted out, if it hasn’t already.
It’s getting there. The Garden of Innocence charity is arranging a reburial in Colma, tentatively scheduled for June 4. The Odd Fellows are helping to pay for it, but GoI could still use donations. They’re also hoping someone will be able to help them figure out the girl’s name, but that seems like a long shot.
Honestly, the one body I’d found would be the one that worried me the least…
Traveling companion for an introvert?
Those renovators were lucky - they found a properly buried body, in a coffin no less.
Not like this poor guy in Toronto.
Feed it to pigs? You’ll need at least 16 to do it in one sitting.
Just throw it in the nearest cemetery. That’s what they’re there for, right?
The problem with calling the cops and letting them take care of it is that the John Wayne Gacy scenario will arise in their minds.
They think: one hidden body implies lots of hidden bodies. The next thing you know your whole yard and basement is a bunch of holes.
It will all be in the news, of course, and when you go to sell the house you have to notify potential buyers, etc.
So, there goes your property value.
Kind of makes the Freecycle suggestion seem practical, doesn’t it?
Put it on a fraternity-house porch, ring the doorbell, then run.
This. Nobody will notice the dead person in your bin, and a coffin unrelated to anybody is worth big bux on eBay.
The coffin is the hard part. People are completely biodegradable, and the sooner you can get her decomposing, the better.
She waited 120 years. Do you really think she’s going to be rushed now? Somewhat more seriously: given the preserved state of the body, she was likely embalmed with copious amounts of arsenic-based chemicals*. Something to bear in mind if you’re thinking of suddenly taking up gardening as an option.
*Likely arsenious acid, an arsenic trioxide. Hmm…that term looks familiar. I’m probably just thinking of trioxane, a formaldehyde polymer.