I hab a code.
Waybit a mibbut. I geb a tissue.
HOOOOOOONNNNNK!
EW.
Ok.
I have a cold. I’m a real tough guy. Nothing bothers me.
What nothing?
No. Nothing!
What nothing?
Well. Hardly nothing.
Hardly nothing bothers him! So give three cheers and one cheer more for Scylla the conservative mysoginistic bore. so give three cheers and one cheer more for the stoic conservative mysoginistic bore!
Ummm otay. Where wub I? Hold on again.
HHHOOOONNNNKKKKK!
Ok. I’ll go quick before the snot comes back. Nothing confronts me much, but there are two important exceptions. The dentist, and I have really bad teeth, and the second thing is a cold.
Everybody in the family has a mild cold. Mine of course has left me a crying miserable self-pitying baby an inch from death with a horrible post-nasal drip.
Everybody else is just dealing with it, and going about there lives, but I’m complainy and miserable.
We all went to bed at like 9, and I took some Nyquil, except I couldn’t fall asleep. The Nyquil fugue crept over me, and I got the desperate tosses, the excruciating thirsts, and the achey-breaky colon.
Don’t break my colon, my achey breaky colon.
I just don’t think you’d understand. Cause if you break my colon
my achey breaky colon I just might poop on your hand…
Oh yeah, and the night sweats.
And then the giant pine cones started smothering me. They’d roll out of the darkness and sit on top of the covers while I choke on snot and they smush me and smush me and roll and smother.
So I got up. I know the pine cones aren’t really there. As I sit here typing these giant pine cones are somewhat sanguine concerning their nonexistence. It’s not much of a problem for them. They’re just sitting there waiting on the edge of my peripheral vision waiting for me to slip back into the fugue of my bad Nyquil trip, and when I do, they’re going to start rolling over me again and again.
Boy I really don’t like the Pine cones. There’s a reason I usually don’t try to take medication. It gets all weird on my, and now I’m sitting here with hot eyballs and metal-tasting teeth about to be smothered by giant pine cones.
If only I’d fallen asleep, it would just be a dream.
I’m a hurting unit.