Help With an Ethical Dilemma (Friendship-Related, Long)

The biggest disadvantage to Pop then is the Full size beds. Three in a room with full sized beds gets tight (assuming you guys are three adults sharing a room). But only Coranado Springs as a moderate has Queen beds. The other mods all have full beds as well. And the theming, I’m fond of the more understated theming.

The rooms at Pop are slightly smaller than the ones at CBR, but not by much.

You might consider finding a DVC owner to rent from and renting points over at Old Key West…two queens in a studio and you can probably get a room for under $70 a night (weeknights, a little more on the weekends) without taxes. (The other DVC resorts have a Queen and a full pullout in a studio and are a little less of a bargain).

Interesting to see the replies in this thread.

My boyfriend is planning a big group trip to Disney World for October 2010. As it turns out, he and I are going to stay at the Polynesian, and the rest of the group is staying at one of the value resorts (I think they decided on the Pop Century). No one in the group seems to care that we’ll be split up between two hotels.

But the dynamics of his group are no doubt very different from yours. For one thing, the boyfriend and his friends who are going on the trip see each other ALL the time–they come over to his apartment almost every weekend, and sometimes on weeknights too. So they don’t feel the need to get rooms in the same hotel.

Second, the purpose of the trip is different for the two groups going (me and BF; BF’s friends). BF was planning to go to Disney anyway because he loves it there, and a friend of his who’s a cast member had urged him for a while to come down to Disney for a visit and offered the use of his cast member discount. So he decided to take his Disney friend up on his offer, and told his friends, “Hey, I’m going to Disney in 2010, and I have a friend who can get us a significant discount on rooms and stuff. Wanna come too?” They didn’t approach it as a special occasion to hang out, since they already spend so much time with each other. For them, BF’s trip is an excuse to go to Disney again, and they’re piggybacking on his discount. For BF this will be partially a romantic trip, a chance to get away with his girlfriend (he had a long dry spell before we started dating), and his friends sense that he wants some privacy with me.

Third, there’s a big disparity in the incomes of the people going. BF works in a professional position, and the people staying at the Pop Century work in retail. Even with the cast member discount, it would still be a stretch for the Pop Century people to stay there for several nights. One member of the Pop Century group really wanted to stay at the Polynesian too, but it was never a real possibility for her. The rest of the group would have overruled her anyway if she’d argued for it seriously; they just wouldn’t be able to afford it. BF doesn’t make enough to help them pay for a more expensive resort, nor would they want to take his money.

Fourth, everyone is so different that it would be hard to stick together as a group. Everyone wants to do their own thing in the parks, although we’ll probably all meet up for a few mealtimes. BF and his friends are going to have a meeting soon to discuss which meals we’d like to do together, so he can make reservations.

Fifth, BF and I are flying down to Florida, whereas his friends are driving down, partly because that’s what they can afford, and partly because it gives them an excuse for a road trip.

So yeah, because of all these factors, it doesn’t matter to us that we’re staying in different hotels. But I suspect that our situation is atypical.

I vote, go to the cheaper place with your friends. But only if you can do so with grace, not making cracks about downgrading, smaller rooms, yada, yada, that would be rude. They can, you can’t, should be the rule.

Take the money saved and treat them to an event that wouldn’t have been on their agenda otherwise, golfing, expensive tour, massages, dinner and a show. If they balk, this is your only opportunity to reference your going along with the group to garner their cooperation.

I think they will appreciate the sacrifice on your part, besides rare enough are the opportunities to demonstrate how much our friends mean to us. Don’t pass one by.

Have a blast!

Wow, well, as one of an entire three of seventy plus replies so far that thinks - very strongly - that you should stick with your original hotel, I think I ought to at least post my reasons. And I should mention, by the the way, that the vast majority of the vacations my wife and I have taken have been “group” vacations; we really enjoy traveling with other people. So I do have some experience in this area - and much of it specifically with traveling to Disney.

You should definitely go to the hotel that you planned to go to, IMO. Everyone is presenting this as a choice between “the amenities of the hotel” and “the amenities of the friendship,” but unless your friends are unusually bitter and demanding people, there is no reason that you should have to choose between those things.

Here’s how group vacations go. Say you have (as you do) three mini-groups, A, B, and C. At some point, Group A, who are daredevil thrill seekers, is going to want to ride the Rockin’ Roller Coaster and Group B, who are inclined to motion-sick or just paralyzed with fear of thrill rides, is going to not. If you follow a plan whereby every activity and selection must be OK with everyone, then either Group B is going to be forced on the coaster and hate it, or Group A is going to have to skip the Coaster, and be disappointed that they missed out.

Then, it’s 5:30. Group A is really interested in sitting down to a peaceful Italian dinner at Mama Melrose’s. But Groups B and C are kind of in the groove, touring-wise, and would prefer to snag hotdogs from a vendor and wait on line for another spin at Toy Story Mania. Following the advice in this thread, either Group A has to forego their nice dinner, or Groups B and C have to drop extra money on something they don’t really want to do in the first place.

Now it’s 7:00. Fantasmic starts in 90 minutes. Groups A and B are psyched as hell to see Fantasmic, and not at all tired, but someone in Group C is feeling a little under the weather and wants to retire early. Must Group C tag along to Fantasmic, feeling miserable? Or must Group A and B skip the whole thing and head back to the hotel, just because Group C did?

Follow this sort of rigid, no one can be happy unless everyone signs off on everything plan, and what will happen is that by the time you leave, everyone will be just a little bit disappointed and just a little bit annoyed and sick of everyone else.

Strictly my opinion, of course, but to me a group vacation functions best when everyone understands and recognizes up front that while you’re on the trip to be together and enjoy one another’s company, there will be times where differing preferences suggest that you go your own way from time to time.

In your case, I assume your various groups don’t plan to literally sleep in the same room at night, right? So you will, at some point, say goodnight and part from your group. What does it matter, ultimately, if you say goodnight as you get on your separate buses, or as you get off your shared one?

If you and your family literally don’t care either way, then sure, I guess, stay with your friends because it simplifies logistics just a tiny bit. But if you were looking forward to doing something, don’t not do it just because your friends can’t or don’t want to do the same thing. A vacation with that as its core philosophy is a vacation doomed to frustration and disappointment. No one is harmed by staying in separate hotels; you should be happy that your friends are going to have a vacation they’ll enjoy, and they should be happy that you’ll have a vacation you’ll enjoy.

And please don’t do this:

Your friends will find this condescending, unless and possibly even if you are the actual Richie Rich. You’re not their benefactor; you’re their peer and friend.

For us, veteran WDW group travelers, its a big difference. Because we build in the expectation of away time from the group, the majority of group time is either planned meals or resort time - the resort pool, the resort lounge (for grown up trips). Otherwise, we functionally wouldn’t see the rest of our “group” because we’d be pretty independent.

If we were meeting at the parks and moving through the parks as a group - it would be different. But we generally don’t take trips like that - unless the friends we are bringing turn out to be the clingy types we can’t shake when we are in the park.

Heh. That’s funny… we tend to be almost literally the opposite (resort time is alone time, meals may be together but often are separate, but the actual park touring is group time).

I think it depends on what you want out of the resort and when you plan on spending time with your friends. If you want to spend time with them at the pool then it would be easier if you all were at the same resort. If you are not planning on spending time together at the pool then I don’t think it matters where you stay. (Sidenote: while technically you can’t pool hop, no one is going to notice or care if you go to Pop Century to use the pool. The only place I’m aware of where they do care is Beach Club and Yacht Club.) If you are big park people, you might consider saving your money and staying at Pop anyway. We keep wanting to stay at the nicer resorts, but can’t bring ourselves to pay the money since we don’t spend much time at the resort anyway. (Though, to be fair, we usually go moderate anyway. Except that one time… 39 bucks for Pop!).

It also depends on whether or not you have a car. If all of you are depending on Disney Transportation, then coordinating between two hotels will be a pain. You simply cannot travel from Pop to Caribbean Beach in an efficient manner using Disney Buses. If you all have cars, then Caribbean Beach and Pop Century are conveniently close that you can easily visit each other at each other’s resorts (which could be lots of fun too).

Well, in a general sense we’re going the Dangerosa route; viz, each group will be doing the parks on their own, but meeting here and there for meals, drinks, the pool, etc. The Homies are flying (and renting a car), everyone else is driving.

???
None of you have kids, and don’t ever plan on having kids. Why the hell are you going to Disney World?

Because Disney World is awesome, of course.

I think the OP can do either case and be fine. One thing that gets me is that if he stays at Caribbean Beach and drives to Pop to hang out with friends, he’s not really taking advantage of the amenities of Caribbean Beach. If he doesn’t mind going to Pop and having to drive back to his room, I don’t see why the friends would or should care. It’s no different to them if he gets in his car or if he walk to a different hotel room at Pop.

Possibly because it is a hoot. There are a ton of campy things to do for grownups. Including - if you are so inclined - the monorail drink tour, and drinking around the world showcase. Non-campy things as well - if you play golf their golf courses are very good.

You’re going to have to explain this to me. I’ve never heard of it.

And yes, Disneyworld is awesome. Especially for adults without kids.

I have been to Disneyworld multiple times, but always with little kids (under 10). I can think of a lot of vacations for adults more fun than Disneyworld, especially that involve drinking.

Oh I agree. Disney Cruises are pretty awesome too. :smiley:

Take a cab to the Wilderness Lodge. Stop by the lounge for a drink. Get on the boat to the Contempory, go to the lounge for a drink (better yet, make a California Grill reservation for drinks and appetizers, since you generally can’t get up there without a reservation), take the monorail around to the other resorts, having a drink in the lounge at each stop (I can’t remember if its GF then Poly or Poly then GF), and the end of the evening, get a cab back to your resort.

Its a fun way to take a resort tour, and the resorts are often worth touring.

Drinking around the world starts in Mexico with a margarita or the tequila bar, and ends in Canada…it isn’t worth a stop everywhere.

This kind of thing is fun even if you’re not a drinker, especially during the Christmas season. The last time we went was also an early December trip, and we had enormous fun going around on the Monorail to the Grand Floridian, the Polynesian, and the Contemporary to see what each hotel had on offer in the way of decorations, shopping, food, etc. The deluxe resorts especially seem to try and outdo each other. The Grand Floridian had a HUGE gingerbread house set up in the lobby that I’m glad we didn’t miss. No one will care that you’re not staying there.

Yeah, one of my favorite adult activities (the kids get bored FAST) is resort touring. Especially the Deluxes. You can drive out to Animal Kingdom Lodge and watch the animals from the back porch. Visit the Boardwalk and see the street entertainment. Watch fireworks from the Poly beach.

Port Orleans Riverside has great grounds to stroll around, and cane fishing into the river for a very reasonable charge. Most of the lake resorts have marinas to rent Mouseboats.

This. Are you Going To Disney, or are you Going On Vacation With Friends At Disney? I mean, you’ve been often enough to write a book about it so I’m assuming the friends bit is a bigger deal.

Like many things, you can do drinking at Disney just as well as anywhere else. Drinking Around The World at Epcot is awesome, especially during the Food & Wine Festival.

Pop Century with friends. I’ve stayed at both, C.B. is not that much better if at all. You can’t actually go in the water at the beach. The pool is ok but not great. If I had the choice even without friends I would stay at Pop Century. Now if you were talking Contemporary vs Pop that would give me pause. But not Pop vs CB.

Because it’s a magical place with lots of witnesses and great security?

c’mon some of you must watch Burn Notice