Here an A, There a T, Everywhere an M. Weird AutoTeller Machine Locales & Where Next?

In My Humble Opinion
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Subtitled: The Scourge Of Don Wetzel & Luther G Simjian.

This is just an observation, but these modern conveniences we call ATM’s are popping up like weeds in some of the strangest places. I’m not complaining, nor am I ranting. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact I see more cash machine company representatives than liquor and beer salesman combined, I probably wouldn’t pay any mind to the large number of ATMs I’ve been coming across lately. I realize we’re a nation that values its plastic – Call me old-fashioned, but is every temple of capitalism I walk into required to have an ATM bolted to their floor?

Let’s see:
[ol][li]Banks – Check[/li][li]Supermarkets & Delis – Understandable[/li][li]Shopping Malls – Fine By Me[/li][li]Casinos – I follow the logic[/ol][/li]But, in other places I’ve seen them, I’m miffed:
[list=a][li]Toyota Dealerships?[/li][li]A Titty Bar In Texas that charges a $40 service fee?[/li][li]The Dry Cleaners?[/list][/li]In the interest of balance, now that I think of it, there are even some places that need (but don’t have) an ATM nearby:
[ul][li]The impound yard (Where the NYC Parking Violations Bureau tows your car and then has a $200 ‘cash only’ policy for getting it back)[/li][li]Other public gov’t institutions[/ul][/li]In closing, I guess I have a few questions:
Am I the only person who’s been tripping over these ATMs nearly everywhere I go?
Are there any weird places you’ve come across an ATM and wondered how many people actually use it per day?
Any places you wished you had an ATM available but didn’t?

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I’ve found and used them:

  • On a ship
  • Down a tiny residential alleyway in a dingy part of Venice
  • On the steps of a town hall
  • In the middle of a university computer-complex building (that one really puzzled me)
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John, I think your information about NYC car impound lots is a bit out of date. I’m pretty sure I saw ATMs there a couple of years ago. In any case, I’m certain they take credit cards (if not debit cards, too) these days. Don’t ask me how I know.

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Have you noticed those late night infomercials that promote owning ATM’s as a cash cow? It seems to be one of the newest get rich quick schemes - buy your own ATM and supposedly you’ll be raking in the cash. I think that’s why we’re seeing more (and usually those smaller, cheaper looking ones) in weird places lately.

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On a motorcycle trip in a small town down south this summer I saw a sticker on the front of an ATM that said “Do not insert coins.”

I started laughing uncontrollable. The idea of inserting coins struck me as odd as the statement that ice cream has no bones. This was apparently a big enough problem that they had to have stickers printed up, made this even funnier.

My friends were loking at me like I was nuts laughing my head off and almost choking in my helmet. I pointed out this absurditity and they laughed too.

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John, we’re on Long Island. ATMs are as popular as Starbucks and diners. Eventually they’ll all meld into a giant Transformer of consumerism.