A large cup of coffee and a pack of brand name cigarettes at the local 711 used to cost me $6.66, and it spooked out the woman behind the counter every single time. So, being the ass that I am, of course I made it a point to buy those two items and only those two items every chance I got.
After a while the total started coming out a few cents more and I stopped seeing a reason to pay the extra bit for a pack of smokes at an overpriced 711 if it wasn’t going to give me a chuckle.
I did try more than once to rationalize away her silly objections and requests that I buy a pack of gum, but that’s the thing about irrational fears… they’re stupid.
I had the phone company ask if I was sure I wanted that number when I picked one ending in 666. I don’t care if my phone number has 666 in it, and I don’t want anyone who does care to be calling me anyway.
I’ve seen poker players fold trip 6s and blackjack players take an extra hit on 18 (666). Hey, it’s their money, but I’d rather them act stupid at the poker table so I can take it instead of the casino.
Years ago 666 came up as the winner on one of those multistate Powerball things. I always thought that would make a good little Saturday Night Live sketch.
First Guy: “You win too?”
Second Guy: “Yes, the Dark Master has been very merciful.”
There is a motorcycle endurace race team that call themselves Army of Darkness. Their logo is two crossed pistons under a skull. They paint everything on the bike and head to toe flat black primer (because it’s dirt cheap.) The number on the bike is 666. They have friends that go to some of the races and their team name is Neighbor of the Beast with plate number 667.
My racing friends set their pits up next to Army of Darkness once and I heard my friend tell this story. Sometime during the weekend they met a kindly old lady making sandwiches. When they introduced themselves she said she was the mother of one of the riders and she called herself The Mother of Darkness.
Two pages and still no one’s asked the only important question: is hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia fear of the number 666, or is it bigoted and moronic hatred of those who never chose to have that number, because the choice wasn’t theirs to make, because it’s an orientation? If the latter, does it mean that the hexakosioihexekontahexaphobe secretly yearns for that number too? And if that, does it mean he (because research has proven that no women are hexakosioihexekontahexaphobes) is a liar, as well as a moron and an idiot…and a hexakosioihexekontahexaphobe? Which leads us logically to the most important question: can you be a hexakosioihexekontahexaphobe without being a Bush supporter?
Evil Duke: Put them in the iron maiden. Ted: Iron Maiden? Bill, Ted: Excellent!
[air guitar] Evil Duke: Execute them. Bill, Ted: Bogus! This can’t go on I must inform the law
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream
but I feel drawn towards the evil chanting hordes
they seem to mesmerise me…can’t avoid their eyes
666 the Number of the Beast
666 the one for you and me
Just today I got some fast food, and the number the cash register said $6.66. I give the guy $10, he says “$6.65” and gives me $3.35 in change. I for one am not complaining. I got an extra penny!
