Yes, moonshine. It’s around where I grew up, and I think I tasted it at about 13. Please, just put hot coals in my mouth next time.
Campari. I was at an all-inclusive resort and a buddy of mine saw it on the bar. He’d never tried it, so he decided to order it, mixed on the rocks with club soda. It was this odd combination of a slight sweetness with no nuance, and overwhelming bitterness. Once, when I was a kid, I read something about dandelion milk, so I picked a dandelion and tried the white liquid that came out of the stem. Campari was very similar to that. I can’t see why anyone would voluntarily drink this stuff when there’s good booze out there to be had. We all had one of those “This is awful, try it!” moments, and after six of us finished trying it, we left a three-quarters full drink on the bar.
The worst was when I first went to visit my wife and her parents. Her father offered me a drink and I said, “gin and tonic.”
Now, he had the habit of never telling people he couldn’t do something. So, when he had no tonic, he searched through his mixers and found a 20-year-old bottle of bitter lemon. He then mixed it and served it to me.
I actually like bitter lemon (it was a favorite of mine even before I was old enough to drink), but this was completely flat and the proportions of gin to bitter lemon were . . . not right. It was absolutely awful.
My wife saw my reaction and offered me something else.
Probably the first drink I ever had: a Black Russian. I don’t like the taste of coffee. I still drank half of it in order to see what a buzz felt like, but I didn’t feel any because the taste of the Kahlua was so harsh.
A shot of bitters.
A local Greek restaurant that my wife and I like to go to often has a Greek margarita as their drink special. It is a margarita made with ouzo instead of tequila. I tried one once - nasty stuff. Tasted like I was drinking Ny-Quil.
Second nastiest, and I’m sure I’ll catch hell for saying this, was the first time I tried Guinness. I had to lick an ashtray to get that vile taste off my tongue.
Gin and milk, as a result of a small wager I lost. Yeah, it’s not so good.
I had vodka and milk in a pinch onces, too, but then I added the only thing I had on hand that would make it palatable – honey. If it were only fig vodka I would have christened it a Promised Land :science!:
Some drink I made up involving vodka <good> with milk <good> and something else NOT good, that SOUNDED good at the time…well, the result tasted like liquid shoe polish. I like white russians, and the bastardized colorado bulldogs <where you add soda to the russian> but whatever I did was just…blearch.
Also, that 99Bananas schnapps is just :eek::eek::eek::eek::smack: Gross.
Hrm. Taht may have been what I tried making that first drink with, lol.
How about something so bad that merely opening the bottle will clear the room-Cisco Blue Raspberry. Cisco’s motto used to be “Takes You By Surprise”, which leads me to believe that it should have been named “Blackjack”. It tastes like, well…six packs of imitation Kool-aid dumped in a bottle of Everclear and diluted with gas station restroom toilet water.
I drank some Vietnamese snake wine once, which I’m pretty sure was just formaldehyde.
I’m going to slide this over to Cafe Society.
Ballantine beer when I first got to Vietnam. Beer was in steel cans back then. It had been shipped from the states by boat, then had been sitting on pallets in a storage yard in the hundred degree heat for god knows how long, then served lukewarm. My throat actually constricted shut at the first big swallow. I was 20 years old and would drink nearly anything, but that shit just wasn’t going down.
Second worst was some sort of local island native concoction on St. Thomas. It was called something that sounded like “mobi”, and was supposed to be made from fermented tree bark of some sort. It was actively fermenting in the bottle, and if left sitting on the table would foam over. Ghastly stuff.
Third, and arguably worst, was a beer called Stella (not related to Stella Artois), which was a locally made beer in Egypt. You never drank this stuff out of the bottle. . .ever. The bottles were made from brown glass and you really needed to be able to see what was in there. You needed to pour it into a glass to see if there were any “floaties”: dregs from the brewing process, dead bodies, that sort of thing. Then you took a sip to see if it was skunky. I tried it twice and that was enough for me. Between the crap in the bottle, and the suspect water quality used to brew the stuff, it wasn’t worth the risk.
Pernod
Pretty much any whisky, scotch, or bourbon. A close runner-up is ouzo.
For beer, it would be Dog Bite, a malt liquor brewed by Genesee
Actually, I rather like that stuff. I just get a few mini’s and use it as a party starter for my evening. 
On the bad side, Chelada (clamato and beer) is fucking gross. And I will never do a 3 Wise Men shot (Johnny, Jack, & Jim). insert puckey
*Guinness.*shudder I love hard liquor and mixed drinks. But I have tried many, many beers and ciders (mainstream, local, cheap, expensive, homemade), and haven’t found a single one that wasn’t abhorrent. I guess I just don’t have the capability to appreciate fizzy fermented hops. I promise I have tried. But I can only force myself to drink about half a bottle before I pour the rest down the drain.
Anyway. Guinness was the worse ale/beer thing my tongue has ever had the misfortune to touch. I came close to vomiting from the taste, and I was dead sober at the time.
We call that a Rubber Buffalo. I had one once as the result of a lost bar bet. The overwhelming flavors were whiskey and tomato juice. It was as vile as you’d imagine.
It was only slightly worse than the Metaxa I had at a wedding some years ago.
Why do you say crazy things?
I LOVE beer…in mostly any way, shape or form. My new job is tasting and ordering beer…I LOVE beer…but…
Monks Flemish Sour Red Ale*** is three notches below elf piss or three day old “ditch weed” bong water.
My son likes it, go figure!