I was drinking Seagram’s Lime-Flavored Gin (itself a pretty wretched concoction, and a purchase that shall not be repeated) on the rocks. My wife was having a glass of red wine: Big House Red, one of our favorite standbys to have around the house. A few sips in, she decided it was too likely to give her a headache, and said she wanted something else.
I obliged her, bringing a margarita on the rocks. But, loath to waste 6-7 ounces of perfectly good red wine, I poured it into my glass, and now I have a large glass of cold lime-flavored gin and red wine.
It is so wrong. The combination of the aromatics from the gin and the fruit and tannins from the red wine, at this low temperature, make for this weird vegetal note that reminds me of the cheapest of cheap well tequilas. This is so fucking gross.
Anyway: what’s the worst alcoholic beverage you’ve ever actually drunk?
Well, I once gargled rubbing alcohol as an experiment (I think I had a throat infection or something), but I didn’t swallow it, so I guess it doesn’t count.
I did the next worst thing to that (or maybe the worst): at wrestling camp the summer after my junior year, in the middle of a poker game, I picked up the beer can that was next to my own, but was the spit can for the guys who had been dipping snuff for the past two hours.
Cave Creek Chili Beer.
Imagine the beer that Bud or Coors rejects. Combine with a chili pepper that has been leached of all flavor so only the heat remains.
Do not enjoy.
Been there, done that, it’s awful. Anytime someone says that kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray I suggest they actually try licking an ashtray. Ashes have a very specific taste, as soon as you take that first gulp you know what you’re doing. I’ve done both and I can tell you that kissing a smoker is nothing like licking (or drinking) an ashtray.
Jumping Jesus on a fucking pogo stick, if I EVER drink Malort again it will be because someone is slowly tearing the flesh from my body with vise-grips.
It tastes like all of its concomitant ingredients at the same time. In the worst way. The hairspray burn of mediocre gin (note: I really like good gin). A weird astringent mouthfeel, presumably from ice-cold red wine tannins. The main flavor notes are dark berry and artificial lime flavor. The finish can only be described as “water in which broccoli has been tragically overcooked.” It lingers on the palate, when you really wish it wouldn’t.
Hah! My bass player has some brennevin he’s been trying to get me to drink with him. Says it tastes like shit. It’s good to have some independent confirmation.
After one od my first dates with my wife, I met with her parents. Her father asked if I wanted a drink, xo I asked for a gin and tonic.
It turned out he had no tonic and rarely made highballs (he was a Manhattan drinker). He neglected to tell me he didn’t have tonic and instead took some gin (far too much) and mixed it with an ancient bottle of Schweppes Bitter Lemon, which had gone flat at least 5 years before.
I took one sip. My date must have noticed the look on my face and she found an excuse to take it all away.
I’ve never had a lambic from SA, but everything I taste from SA tastes like an SA beer. You could hand me a bunch of unmarked bottles and have one of them be some random SA beer that I’ve never tried before I think I could still pick it out. A beer rep told me that they use a specific strain of yeast that gives it that unique taste. Don’t get me wrong, I like Boston Lager, but all their beers don’t need to taste like Boston Lager and, just based on that, I’d be hesitant to buy anything sweet from them.
That does remind me of something though. When I first decided that it was high time I learned to like beer, I managed to choke down a Blue Moon that someone gave me. I was okay with it and it gave me the confidence to buy some other stuff. I went to the grocery store and picked up some random six packs that I thought sounded good. I made the same mistake I learned a lot of other people make. “Pale Ale? That sounds good and bland, I’ll take one of these” To my uncultured palate it tasted like vomit. (FTR, it might have even been an IPA). We’re going on 10 years later and I’m just now deciding that I should probably revisit my ‘I don’t do IPA/PAs’ rule. With the explosion of IPAs during that time it seems like, if I do actually like them, it’ll be a long road ahead of me to catch up.
Oh, and one of my worst drinks, a gin and tonic made with all tonic. Tonic tastes awful with no gin or vodka. I always tell people, never ask for a ‘weak’ gin and tonic, just ask for a shorty or get a regular one and don’t drink it all, but making it weak will just make it bitter and gross.
I lived in China for two years and regrettably, I tried a few cheap bottles of Baijiu.
Good Lord. The Chinese have an amazing history with a rich history and many inventions and many great people. They should hide beijiu from the world. It is horrible.
Then again, it was 158 proof, which is hard to make taste good.
I had a couple glasses pretty expensive(more than $200 bottle) baijiu as well. Bad…but better.
Interesting. While I’ve probably tried 20 of their beers, and liked most of them, my “worst beer ever” is Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. It was sickly, cloyingly sweet, and I can’t stand sweet.
