First, do not try the cranberry lambic. Second, may I recommend a Ranger IPA from New Belgium? And there is no catching up involved.
I’ve tried ouzo and rhubarb wine.
Not together. There is not enough brain bleach in the world to eliminate what that might taste like. Each is worse than the other.
Chínguere. It’s a sugarcane-based homemade firewater from the mountains of northern Oaxaca, Mexico. It has a slight greenish tinge, and tastes like rancid, burning jet fuel.
I kinda like ouzo, though I admit it’s suitable for mixing with literally nothing. 
Rhubarb wine, on the other hand, sounds absolutely horrible. 
Ever tried an Old Spanish?
The original “Kulminator” that was in the Guinness book of records as the strongest beer. 13.5%, IIRC.
Looked, smelled and tasted like purple vomit.
So, one day, about seven or eight years ago (just before this Malort stuff became a “thing” in Chicago), I took my then-girlfriend, now-wife to a bar on Montrose. I noticed they had malort on offer. Oooo…I gotta try this, I think. So I ask her if she wants to take part in a Chicago “old man’s drink.” She accepts. We get a shot each. She downs it, and I’m expecting the typical scowl, cough, vomitous look, whatever, and I get nothing. “Eh…not bad,” (or something similar, it’s hard to remember as I was so surprised by the lack of reaction) she says to me. I knew at that point she was the woman for me. 
My mom and dad love it, too, but they’re Polish-born, where they have a similar drink called piołunówka (meaning something like “alcoholic wormwood infusion”) and there’s a drink for upset tummies we drank as kids that had the same bitterness and flavor of malort, minus the alcohol.
For me? Worst alcoholic drink? This really is a tough one. I tend to like the really rough and bitter stuff, so that’s all out. I might have to go with something like Busch Lite. That’s one of the few alcoholic drinks I’ve had that I couldn’t finish.
I wouldn’t put it that low on my list, but though I’m a fan of Sam Adams in general (and they make my favorite American lager, I will admit), that cranberry lambic was awful and had nothing to do, as far as I can figure out, with lambic.
Yeah, by Chicago unwritten bylaws you pretty much have to marry a girl like that, more or less on the spot.
Can’t say I’ve had any particularly outrageous drinks. Certainly nothing like the OP.
However, I once had a margarita at a gay bar in Tokyo that tasted like paint thinner. Or at least like something which could be used as a paint thinner. With a hint of citrus.
I don’t intend to, I like Boston Lager and don’t waste my money on the rest of their beers, honestly, they all taste like Boston Lager to me.
My beer rep gave me a Capital Ghost Ship IPA (which is what started this) and I was surprised at how drinkable it was. Over the past few years, during the IPA invasion, I’d have sips here and there of other people’s beers. Trying ridiculously overly bitter beers like Hopslam didn’t really make me have any interest in giving IPA’s a shot. The only other experience I’d had was one or two Sierra Nevada Pale Ale’s which, to me, were not bitter at all and with how popular it is, I assume it’s the Bud Light of the Pale Ale world. Checking BeerAdvocate, I’m surprised it’s an American Pale Ale.
I’d rather have a beer where I can taste the flavor and not prove that I can drink a beer that’s more bitter then a beer you can drink. Just like I’d rather eat food I can taste and not just prove how much spice I can handle as I sit there with my nose running and my eyes bloodshot and not enjoying my food.
After my grandmother died, we took home the contents of her liquor cabinet. Most of it was pretty old, so it was fairly potent. She had some pretty good stuff, too – I especially liked the blackberry brandy and the creme de menthe (not together, of course!)
But there was a melon liquor that was extremely nasty – it was like someone melted a watermelon lollipop and mixed it with cough syrup. Ugh! I think that went down the drain.
Midori?
That shit is barely drinkable right off the shelf.
As a mixer it’s passable.
I’ll be honest: I’ve been a bit burnt out on the craft brew fixation on IPAs for the last five years or so. (I’ve mentioned this several times on this board.) But I also like IPAs. It’s not about “proving” anything of the sort. Like with spicy food, many of us really enjoy the taste of hops. It’s actually what really got me seriously into beer, turning it into a true hobby, or one may call it an obsession. The first time I tasted Dreadnaught, an Imperial IPA from Three Floyd’s (in 2004), I was hooked. I had no idea beer could taste like that: so floral, so fruity, so herbal, so wonderful. Seriously, there’s pretty much no other beer I can tell you exactly where I was, what the circumstances were, what time of day it was, what bar it was, etc. That’s how fucking much I was blown away by it. That said, no Dreadnaught since has equalled my memory of it. But that was my first experience of a true hoppy beer.
Ferengi Punch: Blue Raspberry Cisco, Blue Raspberry Jolt Cola. How doth my head hurt? Let me count the ways.
Someone gave me a shot of ouzo once. It was absolutely awful.
As a two fisted drinker in Chicago, I happen to adore Malort.
It used to be pretty hard to find but is now widely available for $10/shot.
It is a fun bottle to bring to a party.
In general, though, I like the Central European rough stuff.
Slivovitz, rakia, pelinkovac (great!), bottoms up!
My worsts list are probably all due to sweetness.
I’m highly sweet adverse and, in particular, those dyed rum tiki-type drinks are wretched.
Midori is indeed pretty awful.
And get that nasty Pucker crap out of my face.
Potato wine made in someone’s basement was the absolute worst. Tied for 2nd are all light beers except for the 3rd worst, Michelob Light.
Zima was also just plain awful.
Before I started drinking beer I was drinking Smirnoff Twisted, Smirnoff Triple Black and those little Jack Daniel’s flavored things. Then I started drinking beer and a while later I was at a party and someone offered me a Smirnoff Ice, never had one, tried it, it was like drinking Simple Syrup. Soooo sweet. I couldn’t finish it. One of the reasons I don’t drink soda is because they’re too sweet, but after moving from ‘girly’ drinks over to beer, I had lost my taste for those things. Also, Smirnoff Ice is much sweeter than Smirnoff Triple Black.
Never had a Zima, I assume it’s the same as all those other drinks that are just alcoholic sugar water. Might as well just have vodka and sprite.
