My great uncle thought it would be funny to put whiskey in my chocolate milk. UGH. I once tried putting vodka in my soup. FAIL.
I also can’t understand the great love for gin. Tastes like pine needles.
I generally don’t see the point in directly mixing alcohols that aren’t part of a normal cocktail. Recipe for disaster. It’s better to drink one at a time with a palette cleanser in between.
I can’t believe this has gone this far with no mention of Champale.
I’ll not ask if you were ever young, naive, and stupid.
I’ll not ask if you’ve ever found yourself four months into a study abroad with the same damned song stuck in your head with almost no way to get the ear worm out (well before i-tunes or any other online music service).
I’ll not ask if that song was “Johnny 99” by Bruce Springsteen. And I’ll not ask if you misinterpreted the line “came home too drunk from mixin’ Tanqueray and wine” as if the protagonist was literally mixing the two, instead of alternating.
I’ll not ask if you spent an entire evening with a pint of Tanqueray and a bottle of cheap red wine, trying to make the combination work.
I’ll not ask any of these things. I’ll just say: don’t.
chartreuse.
Now add all the stuff thats been mentioned already and put it in a punch bowl. Thats the Grog at an Army Dining-In. Prost.
I love a bit of farmyard scrumpy myself, but admit that you have to like/tolerate the essence of cowsh*t together with apples to truly enjoy.
I don’t think this story has been linked to yet (apologies if so): http://www.channel4.com/news/liquid-nitrogen-cocktail-process-under-investigation
‘Threadwinner’, I think.
Know the George Thorogood cover of **John Lee Hooker’s ** song One Boubon, One Scotch, One Beer?
On a few occasions I’ve been in bars and some version of the song is playing. I always ask the tender if (s)he has ever had anyone order the trio. Typically they tell me no, and we start to talk about it. I’ve done it for shits and giggles and it is awful.
Try it. Line up a shot of bourbon, a shot of scotch, and a glass of beer. Cool song, but bleeeech.
Thirding the bacon vodka. Definitely not two great tastes that taste great together. Blurrrgh.
A piss head is basically an alco.
Now wait one minute. I may be an alco, but I’m not, nor have I ever been a piss head. :mad:
I’m more than willing to accept your apology, providing you buy the next round.
Raki. Specifically, the treble shot of raki I knocked back thinking it was vodka. Yuck yuck yuck. Aniseed is just about the only supposedly edible flavour that I simply cannot understand the appeal of (barring a very small amount as a spice in savoury foods). Anything like that - ouzo, sambuca, pastis etc - just tastes like distilled essence of illness to me.
Other unpleasant drinks: Unicum. I quite liked this the first time I tried it, but I brought a bottle home and it did whatever the opposite of growing on you is. And a bottle of Spanish-made tequila a bar in Ibiza lured us in with (free when you buy four beers!). Just typing that sentence has made my mouth start to water in a sympathetic pre-retch manner. 
I’m mildly disappointed that this is not milky white.
Oh no. Unicorn cum is jet black (and leaves a slightly greenish-brown, oily residue in the glass).
Interesting fact: the name of the manufacturer, Zwack, is also the exact same noise you will likely make after first tasting it.
Oh, I just remembered another one. New Year’s Eve, a ski chalet in the French Alps. We had a balcony overlooking the village firework display. We had champagne. Life was good. Then someone decided it would be cool and festive to add Goldschläger to the champagne. Result: lots of delicious bubbly turned into undrinkable syrupy cinnamon-flavoured pigswill, with flecks of gold in.
There’s a liquor sold only in the Chicago area (I think) called Malort.
From the label:
It’s not that bad on the way down. The aftertaste is reminiscent of bug spray.
Is Malort really a Chicago thing? I guess it might be, considering this is the only place I’ve had it. In any case, it’s horrible.
Cooking wine. Dunno what they put in it, but it was vile, and I couldn’t drink more than a sip.
I’ve been drunk enough that drinking cooking wine seemed like a good idea. And don’t you dare fucking judge me.
I once drank an entire bottle of aromatic bitters. I wasn’t even drunk.
I love Unicum, and am sad that you can’t get it in the States (they sell a rebranded version of Unicum Next called “Zwack Liqueur”, a sweeter and more citrusy variation of Unicum.) That said, it really can be a shock if you’re not used to hardcore bitters. If you like the general idea of Jaegermeister, but find it not bitter enough and too sweet, Unicum might be the drink for you.