When I was but a young lass my cousin introduced me to alcohol. First with sneaked drinks from the family bar and then when we had a night out on our own she brought along my first purchased alcohol. Baby Duck (red wine and I’m stretching the definition of wine extremely thin) and Cherry Brandy. She then MIXED those before handing me the glass.
Wanting to be all sophisticated with my 1 year and 11 very important days older cousin I drank my share.
Many years later at an event with a very extensive bar I happened to notice both products available. Being the curious sort I wondered if my memory was accurate or not so I asked the bartender to mix me a very small glass. If you’ve ever had Buckley’s cough syrup the underlying taste is similar but it’s thinner and more horrifying.
Oh, I just remembered: Sloe gin. That stuff tastes exactly like cherry Robitussin. One of my college roommates loved the stuff because it tasted exactly like cherry Robitussin. I told him he was fucked up.
In the highlands of Oaxaca, Mexico, the Zapotec and Chinantec farmers make a horrendous sugar cane-based swill called “chinguere” (the local aguardiente, basically). It’s like jet fuel mixed with green plant matter. Sure makes you happy, though – as much from the relief that it’s no longer burning your mouth and throat, as from the effect of the alcohol.
Tonic, as in Schweppes Indian tonic water? Yes, it has some bitterness from the quinine, but it’s hardly a very bitter drink to me. It’s more like soda water with a little fruity kick to it. I can’t imagine anyone finding it unpleasantly bitter, but then taste is a funny thing…
The worst thing I’ve ever had was a really cheap cachaça that I bought in a dive bar in an outer suburb of Rio. I’m not that fond of cachaça to begin with but sometimes it can be decent. This stuff wasn’t. I bought a 1.5 litter bottle for the equivalent of $1.50.
It was absolutely vile. We opened it up after a night of drinking and nobody could finish a shot. Even my roommate who could stomach any drink no matter how vile, gave up. We kept the bottle as a reminder, but it got thrown out when we moved.
While playing a particularly rowdy night of Wacky Shots, I had to do a shot of tequila, tomato juice and Bailey’s, warmed up in the microwave. GROSS (curdles anyone??)!!! But everyone else was entertained, and that’s all that mattered.
Schweppe’s is one of the more sugary, less bitter ones, but it’s still pretty bitter to me. Like I said, I like Unicum and malort (made with wormwood, one of the bitterest substances I’ve ever tasted), but I still find tonic water bitter, and can easily see how one would find it repulsive. I mean, I did, and I don’t have a particular sensitivity to bitter from being a supertaster. I mean, here’s a dumb video of a teenager being challenged to drink it. I didn’t hate it that badly when I didn’t like it, but it’s not exactly strange to find it repulsive.