A video on the inner workings of Catholic premarital sex.
Slumming?
God bless it.
Speaking as a practicing Catholic, I don’t want to deprive my daughter the opportunity to hook up with the hottest, most electrifying guy in the party. Her mother married one such, so why shouldn’t she?
I didn’t know your wife was on her second marriage. 
The funniest thing is that the objections apply equally well to sons as daughters.
I’m with the author. Nutjobs shouldn’t send any of their children to college.
How do I get this to happen? Pepper Mill is sexually active with me, but she can see my faults with crystal clarity.
Do even Catholics give a flying hoot about a man’s “purity”? I though a man was supposed to spread his seed and be a real man. Of course, that will be jolly difficult to do if there aren’t any girls around. Oh, well, back to prostitutes and homosexuality, I suppose.
One internet win for you.
If the couple does decide to dance, they should leave room between them for the Holy Spirit.
In theory, yes.
In practice, about as much as anybody else has (that is to say, not even a landed hoot, much less a flying one).
Yes, so long as such is limited to an altar boy’s ass.
Who gave you the idea that guys should be indiscriminately spreading their seed around? Looking at all the fatherless kids out there nowadays, I would say that’s pretty close to the last thing that society needs.
Having grown up Catholic, I never felt like there was a double standard about this. As an adult, I am friends with two single guys who are both serious Catholics and both are chaste.
I’m impressed with the Catholics getting all jiggly with it with the science these days.
My coworker teaches a Catholic sex ed class to teens at her church.
She teaches them that having sex causes females to release a ‘love hormone’ and that if one has unmarried sex or multiple partners, one will ‘use up’ all the ‘love hormone’ and won’t have any left over for her husband!
Science!
His older brother knows a guy who goes to college.
Good thing it’s ethereal! It can fit anywhere!
Not coincidentally, this is equivalent to the width of a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue.
Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. 
I actually know a church that teaches a sex ed class (a real one, with actual facts and everything) to their 7th and 8th grade kids because most aren’t getting it in school until around 10th or 11th grade if at all.
There’s a time and a place for everything.
It’s called college.
Oh, and my Catholic High School had sex ed in health class, including condoms, birth control, etc. That place was weird (in a good way).
Interesting variation. We were taught that oxytocin is ‘sticky’ but the more partners you have, the stickiness decreases like a piece of tape that’s peeled off the wall and reapplied over and over again.