Hey cool, I won.
Since Marion Jones has admitted to cheating at the Olympics she’s had to give up her medals. By order I’ve technically “won”. It’s been seven years coming but still feels sort of nice.
I don’t race competitively anymore, but I enjoy the partial attention. Anyways, I’m surprised she didn’t melt the medals down and sell them for money. I’m wondering how much money I can get for them myself.
Anyways, what pretend award can you try to give yourself?
Can you please elucidate?
Well, presumably the OP means one of three things:
(1) By virtue of Jones handing in her medals, the OP moves from 2nd to 1st place in the standings of her particular event, meaning she “won” it, technically speaking. This would mean she’s either the Greek 100m sprinter, the Bahamanian 200m runner, or one of the four women on the Jamaican relay squad.
(2) With Jones dropping out of the standings, the OP moves from 4th slot to 3rd, meaning that she finally “won” a medal spot in her event. This would mean she’s either a Jamaican runner, a Hungarian long jumper, or part of the French or Nigerian relay squads.
(3) She’s pulling our leg.
If either 1 or 2 are true, Congratulations! 
Considering that the OP is male, I’m leaning toward a modified #3.
Maybe she should change her location from DUDE in Boston to CHICK in Boston. Then we’d know she’s a guy.
Oh, I got that grammy after Milli Vanilli was exposed.
I totally deserved it too. My in-the-shower falsetto cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was totally award worthy.
You don’t know, he may have been biologically female in 2000.
I was assuming DUDE might be an acronym…
The problem is that, assuming the second place finishers to her were clean (and with the Greek sprinter, thats up for debate), they were denied their Olympic glory by a liar and a cheater, which sucks. You train for years to get the medal and the accompanying glory, and get the medal seven years later with no glory. Kind of like the runner who finished second to Rosie Ruiz- she got a faux ceremony and all after the fact, which is much less satisfying that getting the accolades in the moment.
But running is probably as dirty as cycling, so it may turn out eventually that many of the runners in her races were dirty- who do you give the medals to if all eight runners in the final were cheating?
True.
I hereby award myself the 1972 Academy Award for best actor based on the fact that Brando declined it. Never mind that I wasn’t even born yet.
I became Miss America after Vanessa Williams gave up her crown.
I gave it as well as there were nude photos of me, in my wallet.
Dangerously Uber Darling Ex-athlete?
You certainly don’t get the glory, such as it is, for winning after the fact. I know the former Lisa Weidenbach, who won Chicago twice and was the last American woman to win Boston. She was, and is, clean. Think how she feels now that Uwe Pippig, who is the one everyone can remember, (well everyone who can remember any runner that long ago) doped and just made the cover of Runner’s World last month. Fortunately, despite all her success, she only came in fourth in the US trials, 3 trials in a row.
Do you even win post facto? Frank Shorter was not granted a gold medal at Montreal, even though East German records showed that the guy who finished ahead of him (I do not say “beat him”) was doping.
As far as I’m concerned, no Olympic medal ever won by an East German athlete is valid, and the IOC should vacate them all. The entire East German Olympic program was cheating, deliberately and elaborately. A sham program run by a sham country, cheaters all.
An Olypmic medal weighs around 9oz and with silver at ~$13 an ounce, no one’s getting rich on the scrap value.
I retrieved the gold medal that Muhammad Ali allegedly threw into the Ohio river in disgust over racism in America. In so doing, I established myself as the Light Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the 1960 Olympic Games in Rome.
Ali received a replacement medal at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, but I’m not bitter. I had a good run.
I claim the 1917-1935, 1938-1959, and 1961-1995 Vanderbilt Cups, the 1963-1997 Bendix Trophies, the 1984 and 1994 Pulitzer Prizes in History, the 1985 Tony Award for Leading Actor in a Musical, and every slot on the WAMPAS Baby Star list from 1935 onward.
2005 Stanley Cup, here I come!
I’ve got the credit for the 1999 Stanley Cup. It was the only way to get Dallas and Buffalo to stop arguing over Brett Hull’s foot.
How DOES that work when something like this happens? The Marion Jones incident. DO they notify the Silver winner that he gets the Gold? And do they send a Bronze to the one who came in 4th? They should schedule a little ceremony where they new trio stands on that box during the playing of their national anthems.
I met a guy who would always put down “Nobel Prize recipient” on the Honors Received section of employment applications. I think it was 1977 when the UN Peacekeeping Force won the Peace Prize, and he was a member of the force at that time, off in some godforsaken corner of the world.