Your momma’s so hairy they thought Bigfoot lived in your house!
Yo’ momma’s just like a police station—dicks going in and out all night.
Yo mamma’s so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch “60 Minutes.”
Yo mamma’s so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed football season.
Your mamma’s teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.
Yo mammas so fat I found a Russian harpoon in her ass.
Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the bathroom scales, the readout said: To be continued.
Yo mama so poor she bounces food stamps!!
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, “Moving.”
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!
Yo mama so fat, she has a rain shadow.
Your momma’s glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving!
Your momma’s Soooo fat, when she ran away, they had to use all FOUR sides of the milk carton!!
Yo mamma’s so stupid, she took an IQ test and it came back negative.
And she was so relieved!
Yo momma so fat, other fat mommas orbit around her.
Yo momma… had you. 'Nuff said.
Yo momma’s so fat…
…she doesn’t wear 501s, she wears 747s.
…the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.
…she can sell shade.
…she eats Wheat Thicks.
…she puts butter on her aspirin.
…she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
…she sweats gravy.
…I had to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side.
…she stepped on a quarter and it broke into five nickels.
…her blood type is Rocky Road.
…when she jumps her radio skips.
…when she jumps the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is a meter
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is “equator”
Yo’ mama put a dynamite stick ‘tween her legs, talkin’ bout love is a battlefield.
Your momma’s so fat she can suck-start a Harley.
Yo mamma so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons (or yo momma)”.
(Okay, fine, I stole that one.)
Yo mama is so old, I once told her to act her age, and she died!
Your mamma’s so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and said “Hey, where’s my gumball?”