Person A: “Holy shit! Gas prices are high! I had to fill up my car today, and it cost me a lot of money!”
Person B: “Yeah! It’s three bucks a gallon! That’s expensive!”
A: “You know, it is! It now costs me more money to drive than it used to when gas prices were not so high, because, wow, are they high right now!”
B: “Oh yes! They sure are! Holy crap! Last week when I got some gas it cost me twenty dollars, and I was like, ‘wow, this is very expensive’, but this week I got some more gas, and it cost me twenty-FIVE dollars, and I was like, ‘oh my GOD!’. It’s ridiculous!”
A: “It is! It is! I cannot believe that gas prices are so high! Holy fuck! Because, you know, I have other stuff to buy, and that stuff costs a lot of money too, and now, I do not have as much money for that stuff, because I spent so much on gas because the prices are so high!”
B: “Isn’t it awful?! I mean, three bucks! I remember that one time, it was TWO bucks, and it was bad then, and now it’s THREE!”
A: “Oh I KNOW! Last week I drove somewhere that was far away, and it cost me a lot of money, because…”
Etc., etc., etc.
Attention, please. May I have your attention for a brief, but very important, announcement regarding the current state of gasoline pricing.
WE KNOW.
Thank you.
Also, an addendum: if you still feel that you absolutely must have the above conversation at any and every available opportunity, would you please, as a matter of common courtesy toward those of us who are trapped in a room/vehicle/office/other public space with you, limit the topic to twenty minutes? This time period is, I feel, a reasonable compromise, as by that point you will have reiterated the same two points back and forth a minimum of seven times…and while I know that this falls short of the 12-18 that is apparently standard for the majority of everyday discourse (including, but not limited to, “It’s Hot”, “It’s Cold”, “A Celebrity Had Sex”, “Our Friend Who’s Not Here Right Now Sure Is A Bitch”, “My Kids Are Awesome”, and other classic favorites), I find that, given the truth of the earlier announcement about this particular state of affairs (reminder: WE KNOW), this smaller number of iterations should suffice.
We appreciate your cooperation.
This message brought to you by Introverts Of America. IOA: Proudly not spouting whatever horseshit comes to mind at ten-second intervals. Est. 1926. All rights reserved, but feel free to imitate anyway.
