Hey, marketing department at Media-Play: I hate you.

The BBQ Pit
1

Dear Fuckwits from MediaPlay:

(I don’t think MediaPlay is national: they’re a Barnes&Noble-esque book/cd/dvd/computer game store)

I don’t want a looooong commercial when I check out. Really. I was at your establishment last night after picking up a few DVDs. Every time I go, I get this spiel and I’m more than sick of it.

<Puts on Bob Newhart hat>

"Boy, it’s a nice day! It really is a wonderful day, isn’t it? And :: stops ringing me up and starts futzing with a calculator**::** if you join our special club on this wonderful day, since your bill comes to <loudly, so everyone in the store can hear how much I’m spending> $123.56, you’ll save .27c on this purchase alone! .27c!!!.

Are you sure? Are you really sure? If you spend over $800 in the next 167 days, you could save up to $7.62! $7.62. It’ll only cost you $25.00. And we’ll need a home number, a work number, your e-mail address, your home address, your social security number, your parents/friends/spouses/coworker’s home/work numbers, addresses social security numbers and e-mail addresses. We’ll need a blood sample, a urine sample, your grandmother’s maiden name, the village in Russia that your grandmother came from, the PIN number for all your credit cards and your shoe size. We’ll also need you to fill out this 37 page survey.

No. No reason why. We certainly aren’t collecting this information to spam you.

Whaddaya mean the fine print says “By signing up, you agree that we’ll spam the shit out of you on the phones, in the mail and in your e-mail, and you’ll take it with a grin, bitch!” Let me see that ::Looks::.

That’s just boilerplate legal mumbo-jumbo. Meaningless. Don’t worry about it. So do you want to join our club?

Whaddatyamean “no”? ::astonished look, saying "What is this…thing standing before me that would refuse our generous offer?:: You could save up to $7.62! No? Fine. ::pouts::

Would you like to sign up for Premier magazine? It’s a magazine about all your favorite Hollywood stars.

Whaddaya mean, you don’t care about them? How can you not care about Brittany Spears and Christina Angulara? You can subscribe to Premier for only $7.62 for 2 issues!

What? What are you trying to say? What relevance does “But each issue has a cover price of $1.50” have? Are you refusing another generous offer? Don’t you understand finances? Well? Don’t you? Fine. Go back to your mental institution, since only a RETARD would throw his money away by not taking advantage of our generous offers. Jerk.

And ::Big fake grin:: have a nice day!
Well…it wasn’t quite that bad, but it was close. And what drove me over the edge, is that after waiting in line for 15 minutes as the cashier did the spiel with each customer (and if they did sign up, it took even longer :rolleyes: ) is that, after being rung out and and getting to the car, I realized I’d forgotten something and had to go through the spiel again…with the same cashier.

And I can’t take it out on the cashier: it’s obvious that she’s being forced to do this. I am writing a nasty letter to MediaPlay (cc’d to the store) telling them how little I appreciate their customer “service” and how check-out commercials are a good disincentive to shop there.

Oh. And before I forget: Listen up you little twerp: I’m about to give you a tip that’ll serve you well as you continue in life (since with your attitude, you’ll never get beyond the most menial of customer-service jobs): The correct answer to the phrase “You have that in stock!? GREAT! I’ll be down in 40 minutes (it’s a long drive). Can you hold it?” is either “Yes! I’d be happy to” or “No, I’m afraid our policy doesn’t allow us to hold merchandise”. It is not “Hey, we got plenty.” Because when you say “Hey, we got plenty”, I’ll respond with “Swell. Can you put one of that multitude aside for me so that I don’t make a 40 minute drive for nothing?” and we’ll just go round and round.

Fenris

2

Several years ago I went into a MediaPlay looking for the Wallace and Grommit series on video. They had only one of the three, The Wrong Trousers, available.

However, the Helpful Employee stated, a new boxed set was to be available soon. He then volunteered to check on the release date.

He quickly returned, having transformed himself into Sadistic Employee, with said boxed set in hand. He held the boxed set aloft, teasing me with its presence, and taunted me with statements of the sort “I’d like to let you have it today, but I can’t release it until next Tuesday.” And “It’s a nice boxed set, isn’t it?” And “Do you want to look at it?”

3

This hits close to home for me. I worked as a sales associate at Media Play for four years. :frowning: Granted, we didn’t have to push that stupid Price Club crap they do at the cashiers, but secondary sales were our specialty.

“Hey, do you need any batteries? Floppy disks? Carrying cases? Film? Blank tapes? Huh? Huh? Hey, where are you going? Buy something else, dammit!”

I hated every minute of it, but the hours were flexible, and it helped me pay for food and gas through college. And yes, I did try my hand at the Sadistic Employee[sup]TM[/sup] bit, but only with Terminally Ignorant Customers[sup]TM[/sup].

4

Too make it worse the cashier probably has a quota to fill. If he doesn’t meet the goal one of several things will happen…
A. Cut in pay
B. Scolded and announced on a “Loser employee” list
C. Given a warning that next will result in termination

I applied at a large bookstore chain once and they had similar requirements on their “club saving” card. I didn’t like being forced to force people (make sense?). Plus they had all kinds of borderline unconstitutional questions all through their application exam (I may start a thread on that alone).

5

I wonder how much they payed the person who came up with their jingle… “Media Plaaaaaay… Is Fun.”

Woah. Lyrical genius.

6

I am a “member” of Media Play’s Replay club, and I have received more than $100 in gift certificates from Media Play as a result of my membership. When you do the math, you basically get 5% of your purchase back on DVDs and CDs and only 2.5% back on Playstation games and software. They have these “triple points days” where you can get back 15% and 7.5% respectively.

All they got from me when I signed up for membership was my name and address. They misspelled my last name (just as everyone else does), and I can honestly say I have never received a phone call or a piece of junk mail in reference to that misspelling, so they are pretty good about not spaming. My Grandma gave me a subscription for Newsweek magazine with a misspelling and I can tell THEY sell their list to anyone and everyone.

It is basically a false economy because Media Play prices are really high for the most part. I got Star Wars Episode I for a lot cheaper at Wal Mart than at Media Play (even considering my membership). However, when you are dealing with Playstation 2 games and hardware all retailers tend to have the same pricing structure, and I actually come out a little ahead on that deal by shopping Media Play.

Media Play does have a better selection than most retailers and carries more diverse titles. Most of the time I can be patient and order what I want from the Internet and save money, sometimes I can’t wait and buy them at Media Play.

One piece of interesting information: Media Play is owned by Musicland Stores, and Musicland Stores was purchased by Best Buy… :eek: