The thread title’s not actually in jest. I am calling myself out. The following after this run-on sentence rambles from a somewhat standard opening, unexpectedly shimmies into an apology, then wanders into something that’s close to witnessing—which might confuse some number of people who’ve had me pegged as a not-very-notable Straight Dope atheist fellow—then for the longest penultimate section contains a short-short-short story my brain kicked out whole instead of letting me get some sleep earlier, and wraps up with a final apology. But before all that: sorry about that run-on. I usually cut them short before that length.
Over in this IMHO thread, reprise wondered at the TM’s how the horrific events of 9/11 had shaken their faith, or lack of same, or if it hadn’t at all. Various folks chimed in, yay and nay. I said,
The ellipseseed (not a word, but it is for right now, dagnabbit) portion was a reference to this Dan Savage column (warning: page contains large bold letters mentioning “poo eating”) from the wonderful Onion (America’s finest news source), specifically this paragraph:
Which I’d read not very long before, and thought, pretty much, fuck yeah. And in light of reprise’s question: “I don’t want this to become a debate about whether there exists an ultimate being or not, I’m just curious about the impact September had on people’s existing ideas and beliefs.” Mr. Savage so completely nailed an existing belief of mine, which the events of 9/11 very much had an impact on.
Exception was taken; perhaps partially because by coincidence of posting, my original bit appeared four scant minutes after RTFirefly’s own two cents, and it would be difficult to find two thematically-different posts. But mostly because it was delivered in an incredibly insensitive way. I daresay dander was raised. Full spectacle over yonder, and a blow-by-blow isn’t my intent here.
What is my intent is an apology. I stand by what I said, but not the way in which I said it. I was going to head to bed just before starting this here ramble, but something was nagging at me, nagging at me. And it occurred to me what it was: in another MPSIMS thread I wrote (it appears to be dying a thread death of no-cuts, must mention breasts in title, must mention breasts in title, I’ll grasp that someday, I swear 
), I concluded “there is no such thing as a trivial act.” There’s nothing good about doing something hurtful, walking away, and not thinking about it. Internal mind genies nudged at me, nudge nudge. “Hey, Drastic. We’re getting some internal irony readings here. <rattling of printouts> Uhhh…you wanna look at these, boss? Because, sir, we here in the Clue Department were kinda talking about them, and we really think you should. Sir.”
And damned if they weren’t correct. They had it all cross-referenced and everything, but I think when the lot of them strolled past my door while singing “One of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn’t belong,” that was a bit excessive on their part.
And thus, I am sorry. If I offended and hurt (I tend to believe that all offense involves hurt) one, by the Law of Lurkers and Biting Tongues, I did so to more. I’m not thrilled about doing that.
One of the things my faith does rest on is, what people should do in this life is work on reducing the amount of suffering in the world. That is right. Anything done that increases the amount of suffering in the world, well, that’s the complete opposite of right. The way I expressed that which I do stand by, was on the wrong side of that line.
I will now witness just a tiny bit, to give those on the fence a chance to stay angry. Fair’s fair, and a good lather is cathartic from time to time.
But I do stand by it. Yes, there are profound and deep spiritual arguments as to the Problem of Evil. Intervention versus Free Will, that God cannot and must not be judged from the human standpoint of being bound into time in the land of the Quick, that of Ineffability, and that His Plan must not be doubted, even as His Presence leaves no doubt to those graced with it.
But in this life, in this land of the Quick, I don’t give a fuck about those arguments, which is why I won’t be in Great Debates about them. I oppose suffering not at the level of intellect, but at a deepness of experience I denied for about a decade’s chunk of time out of my life, a chunk of time I sometimes bitterly regret, my faith. I do not now, and don’t foresee ever compromising on that I do not stomach anything that condones it, anything that implies that really, it’s deserved. And if that stems from me simply not “getting” the theological arguments justifying or resolving the pure suffering throughout existence, if my faith is blind in that stance, then I am blind. So be it.
But I do give a fuck about people who do give a fuck about those arguments. I can only hope that distinction’s actually important.
Maybe I’ll get damned because of it, but I kinda doubt it. I think, if Christianity does have its eschatology pretty much nailed (and all the Buddhists in Heaven get good-natured ribbing from time to time about things. “So how’s that bardo, Bhikku? Har har!” “Why I oughtta…”), it might happen a little like the following.
I will now relate a longer quasi-witnessing (for something which isn’t even my conscious religion) in story form. Those folks who wish to remain angrymay be offended at its levity in tone, or that one of the final lines lifts itself from “The Big Lebowski,” opinions of which are often as sharply divided as those over matters of faith—and in the end, perhaps matter just as little. Another lifts itself from ”The Prophecy,” which I’m sure is even more theologically…troublesome.
(Apparently, this is so long that it’s making vbulletin code choke on handling it all at once. So I’m going to try splitting it into halves.)