Hey Office Bitchknocker! Got A Problem? Come To *Me* About It!

The BBQ Pit
#21

That would probably be it Leesha Joy. I also have one at my desk. It’s permanently flipped to “I hear the other ucky people calling you”. I also have a few Happy Bunny stickers (“you suck and that’s sad” “butts cheerfully kicked” and “not listening”) tacked up. Luckily my cubie-hell mate doesn’t mind. Although he did ask that I remove the LilHomies from the top of the printer. They kept falling into his coffee.

I like the “making a wall of ivy” idea. Bring in a tape of jungle noises, some stuffed birds. Call it your little oasis for the hell of working with her.

#22

I recommend putting Audrey II at her desk. And then feed her, Seymour.

"Dee Dee sure looks like plant food to me!!!"

#23

Ah, thanks. A little ray of viciousness to brighten my day. :smiley:

#24

Right now mine is on “hi. cram it.” but I do change it up from time to time. One of my favorites is “Boys like and kind of stink.” Immature? Definitely. The Happy Bunny is my inner evil voice I think and I love it! Too bad this one isn’t in the book: http://www.blackjackinc.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=162
Cervaise, that’s a point I’d not considered.

Beware of Doug the Happy Bunny brings me joy, too.

#25

gah, that should be “Boys lie and kind of stink.”

#26

We service a large Pharmacutical account, when the coorporate honchos visit from headquarters, we have to scurry around removing the toys and plants and photos from our cubes. Because, you know, their company policy doesn’t allow it and so even though we work for a different frickin’ company we have to pretend we are just like them.

Although, it does give me a good excuse to dust and re-arrange my dozen or so star wars action figures.

#27

Ravenman
“Mime-gardner” ?
That’s wonderful!

#28

I, for one, welcome our new floraphobic overlords!

#29

Hi Hal,

I have to say I envy you your wide-angle mirror so no one can creep up on you!

Wish I had one…

#30

Chimp Has Invincible Monkey Powers
And for the record, my Happy Bunny cubicle sticker is the “You suck big time” one.

#31

So, your manager said, “Sorry, Hal, I’m afraid you can’t do that”? Is his name Dave, by any chance?

#32

Hal, I once had the same complaint except mine was an extremely “leggy” philodendron. My compromise was to shape a coathanger into a circle, push it down into the soil, and wind the plant through and around it. I had no more complaints and the plant looked better and fuller.

You are to be commended for rescuing so many homeless plants. :slight_smile:

#33

Five minutes since I read this, and I’m still laughing at it.

#34

<snrk!!>

Ok, I thought I would be in hell now that DeeDee is sitting so close to me. However, I didn’t realize I would get such entertainment out of hearing her phone conversations. Here’s what I’m listing to right now:

Yes, I realize that, but something has come up and I can no longer use the ticket.
…
Yes, I understand that, but it says right on it that it’s non-refundable.
…
I know that! But it…
…
No, it says right on the ticket in big, bold letters – “NON-refundable!”
…
“Right”? “Right” what?
…
Well, since when does “non-refundable” mean I can’t get my money back??
…
But I…uhhh…

I’m pretty sure someone whacked her with a clue-by-four at this point, because she quickly apologized and hung up. If this woman isn’t a prime example of “failing your way up the corporate ladder”, I have no idea what is.

#35

I think DeeDee has a sister that works in a little office near my cube. We call her OSHA because every 6 months or so, she will go around and make sure that everyone is abiding by the “clean desk” policy and that there are no safety issue’s. Which would be fine except I’M ALREADY ON THE SAFETY TEAM!!! And she isn’t. If she wants to butt into everyone’s business so damned bad then she can join the safety team and come to the hour long meetings once a month. Otherwise she can keep her sorry ass in her office and sit on conference calls all day long. Bitch.

#36

:smiley: Of course, now you’re going to have to keep us entertained with more “Tales Of DeeDee”!

#37

I actually remember your cube from the thread for your wife’s b-day, and i remember thinking how awesome the plants looked. You need more carnivorous plants, that will consume DeeDee.

#38

Now I’m scared of getting an office job when I graduate! My friends have so many horror stories of their evil bosses and mean clients that I just know I’ll be the one to get DeeDee jr. when it comes time.

Now carry on.
goes back to lurking and laughing at your various angry posts

#39

Have you thought of a trellis for your vine?

Maybe one between you and DeeDee?

#40

EddyTeddyFreddy mentioning the spider plants makes me think of my own office manager.

Story cut short, we have two spider plants in our office, the person I replaced had tended hers so it was nicely blooming, office manager (nicknamed mini-me) left hers to the point of dying. So I took over someone else’s desk and, I assumed, the blooming spider plant. Then I come in one morning and find them swapped by persons unknown, who just happened to move the blooming plant to the office manager’s desk.
So after scheming to poison the blooming plant on her or swap them back, I just looked after the dying plant by the ingenious means of watering it and not leaving it right over the radiator. Now the dying plant is blooming and the much larger plant is dying.