So I was outside in my driveway, enjoying a nice May afternoon. Off in the distance, a honeybee, or perhaps a wasp, I don’t know I hate them all equally, was flying around. I watched it cautiously, but after it showed that it posed no threat to me, by flying away from me, I ignored it, and continued to walk around the driveway. Finally, I have enough, and I walk back in.
Then it happened.
This son of a bitch bee went up to my ear, and starts buzzing around me. I wait a few seconds, cringing. It doesn’t do what I want, which is to fuck off and go back to dicking its queen with its little bee dick, or whatever bees have down there beesides a stinger. I, now rather terrified, ran up to the deck. It follows, apparently it had a crush on me or something. Sorry, I’d rather not be molested by a bee, thankyouverymuch. It continues to buzz around at me. Fed up, I open the door, duck inside, and close it, hoping that it doesn’t get in, or if it does, that my faithful cat will make quick work of the little bastard. Luckily, it stays outside.
And you know the truly amazing part? I managed not to get stung.
Last year, I was attacked TWICE! TWICE!! It was horrible. The first time I was unloading groceries from my car when a waspy thing came to investigate. I stood still, like people always tell me to, and tried not to panic as it circled my head. Finally, it seemed to drift off and I leaned back into the trunk of the car when “ZAP!” Little fucker zoomed in and stung me in the EYEBALL.
The second time, I was at the Renaissance Faire, in full wench getup. Another stupid wasp started stalking me, so again, I stood still and tried not to panic. Then it dove down the back of my costume and merrily stung me between the shoulder blades. Now, I don’t know if any of you people have ever worn a bodice, but they lace up the front. So I grabbed the ties and started trying to get my bodice unlaced, because there was no where for the wasp to go. Well, when one pulls on laces, they tighten before they loosen, you know? So there’s this wasp, now buzzing pissed-offedly inside my shirt as I try very hard to unlace my bodice without smushing him. Before I got the damn thing undone, he’d stung me twice more and a crowd had gathered to watch the wench strip.
I no longer stand still and try not panic when wasps are about. Now I run like hell, waving my arms like an idiot and screaming. Somehow, this seems more effective.
I, too, hate stinging insects. All that “Stay still and they won’t bother you” shit didn’t work for me when I was a kid, so now the little sting-y fuckers die when they see the mighty stream of Raid striking them down.
I sympathise with Life on Wry but I have to say that most folks who are afraid of bees are wimps. Most bees (I’m not talking about the Killer Bee variety) will not sting except as a last resort. I know because when I find one inside the house or even if I want a closer look at one, I’ll scoop it up in my bare hands to take outside. No lie! I think they are cool little critters. I haven’t been stung in 30 years and that was only because I accidentally stepped on it with my bare foot.
Being afraid of bees makes as much sense of being afraid of all medical folk because there’s a small chance they’ll give you a shot. Do you avoid them too?
I can understand the fear if you’re allergic to bee stings since just one can kill you but I don’t understand the rest of you.
OK, I’ll make an exception for hornets. They have a nasty bite. I won’t fear them but I won’t pick one up again.
A little while back, a bee-wasp-thingy DARED to violate the sanctity of my apartment. So I let the little bitch choke on a big cloud of Raid, then took pictures of it and posted one on my Web site – http://drysarcasm.teemingmillions.com – as a warning to other stinging insects.
That’s great and all. However, I’ve had a bee land on me three times in my life. All three times I froze and stayed perfectly still and didn’t do a thing. All three times, the little fuckers stung me. Thus, they die.
Maybe freezing signals fear or a pending attack and so they attack first, I don’t know. But most bees sting only as a last resort because their barbed stingers stay in your skin and it rips their abdomens open when they fly away and they die. Wasps however, can sting you as often as they like and suffer no ill effect.
My father was raised on a farm and held the belief that if you don’t bother them, (wasps, bees, etc.) they won’t bother you. My brother, sister and I were leery of them to say the least and he always acted like we were wimps. He constructed a workshop in his backyard that had large flap-type shutters he could open to let in air all around. He would be in there sawing away on his power saw and swinging lumber around and with sawdust flying everywhere and using all sorts of power tools – all while surrounded by around 25 to 50 bees and wasps – and he never got stung once that I know of. Same thing if he was cleaning out a hot dusty attic or refurbishing his place of business. He just did his thing the way he normally would and ignored 'em and they always seemed to ignore him as well.
Since I’ve grown into adulthood it’s easier for me to follow his method.Whenever one is around I just ignore it and go about my business and I’ve never been stung.
Twice? Wuss. Try 15 times. At once. My friend stupidly stepped on a hive, and I didn’t know so while she was running away, my legs were covered with angry bees. I was stung all up feet and calves. My feet swelled up so much I couldn’t wear shoes for 2 weeks. In the past 10 years, I have been stung over 20 times. And not ONCE, was it my fault. hmp
You know what I’ve found, is that a spray of water is nearly as effective as a spray of Raid, when directed directly at the offending insect. You just need a flyswatter in the other hand to finish them off when they land to dry. Probably more humane too, leading to a quicker death.
And safer for you, not exposing yourself to chemicals, unless of course you’re allergic to bees.
Note that we are talking about 3 different insects here. We have your honeybee- unless africanized- they are not agressive, and if you see one near you, move away slowly and quietly. Don’t yell, wave your arms etc. Don’t kill them.
Next we have a wasp. Wasps are usually solitary, and they don’t look like bees. They have stings that are sometimes dangerous (I had a freind stung by a tarantula hawk wasp, the swelling was the size of a softball! :eek: ). Again, don’t bother them, and they won’t bother you. Move away, not too fast, don’t get agitated. If you must- kill them, esp if you are allergic and there is a nest near you.
Finally, we have the evil bug- the Yellowjacket/Hornet. They are about the size of a bee, and have the same black & yellow stripes. But they are NOT bees, they are closely related to wasps. They can sting numerous times. They are aggressive, and want to drink your soda, eat your food (esp if it is sweet or meat), and will even bite you to see if you are tasty. KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL!!!. What Lifeonwry likely was attacked by was one of these- they love Renfaires. Move away fast from these guys, or sneak up on them, and kill them. Do not squish them near you though- the smell of squished Hornets gets the others to be aggresive. Do set up traps- you can buy these, or make your own with a 2 liter soda bottle. Fill 1/10th with sweet stuff, maybe smear a little meat arount the rim- they will fly in, then you can cap it, shake and drown. A drop of detergent makes them drown faster. Put the trap away from you, of course! A “storebought” trap doesn’t have to be capped, the hornets fly in and can’t find their way out. Renfairs with a yellowjacket problem should really go out and buy a few dozen of these, and put them on the outside fence. If you find a nest- kill them. There are special long range “wasp” sprays made for this.
This happened to me, except I was the one that stepped in the nest, when I was about 10. I had 20 or 40 or a million yellowjackets inside my pants. My mom couldn’t figure out how to get them out, or get my pants off without me getting stung a thousand times, so she whacked me for a while with newspaper. Sorry, I give anything yellow and black one, and only one, chance to go away. Then it becomes a splotch.
Just today I planted a whole slew of annuals. When I got out of the van, I called out to the my little friends, the bees, that I had brought them all some presents and to come enjoy. (They did.) This will keep them relatively happy until the Russian sage and Rose of Sharon bushes bloom. They’re like bee cocaine. They won’t give a shit about you passing right by; they just want their fix.
Honeybees are cute and agriculturally important. They can live, preferably at a distance. They are welcome to enjoy my bee balm.
Bumblebees are best of all. They’ve big enough that you can see them coming, and they are good-natured. They do sting if they get cranky enough (and it does hurt) but just seeing those big loud lumbering bodies, so unlikley in flight, makes me cheerful.
When I was six I stepped on a wasp nest and was stung many many times. I blacked out and my mother found me standing out in the street in a daze. This made me very uneasy around stinging insects and I didn’t get stung again until I was in my late teens.
This was when I found out then that I’m allergic to insect stings. I now have a honest to god phobia for biting/stinging insects, and even a bee in the house causes me to be freak out and run like a little girl. Random stingings are among my worst fears.
Thanks for reminding me to put my Medic-Alert necklace back on. I usually do it May 1st, but I forgot up until this thread. It’s also time to check my Epi-Pen expiration dates.
Having a large vegetable garden in my backyard, I’m the first to try and be on friendly terms with Mr. Bee or Mr. Wasp because I need their services. Last year a wasp took up residence near the entrance to the garden and I tried to form a live and let live policy with the wasp but my efforts were in vain. Soon after taking up residence and starting construction on the nest, open warfare broke out. Each time I would try to enter my garden, about 10 or 15 feet away from the nest, the wasp would get pissed off in a waspish sort of way and attack me. Realizing that if I let a wasp army develop I would eventually be battered into submissions, I attacked. After a stealthy approach, I blasted away with chemical weapons. My mighty foe fell dead to the ground. Perhaps if things had turned out different, if I were not human who doesn’t like to be stung and it not a wasp with a stinger who hated me, we could have been friends. Now I will never know.
The one time I’ve actually been stung was by a freaking bumblebee, those nice peaceful slow moving creatures Cranky wrote about. Apparently they get a little feisty when you try to brush them off your clothes or that bee didn’t like me or something. Whatever it was, it hurt like shit. My leg swelled up to twice its size. I remember because I’d locked myself out of the house and then I was stuck with a rapidly swelling leg. I was pissed.
Now the wasps that have been trying to take up residence in my room have all died a very quick death. No sign of their nest yet, they just send invaders every once in a while. My cats apparently find wasps below their dignity so I’m left to it. I find Windex works in a pinch, at least it makes it so they can’t fly so they’re much easier targets.
-Lil
Renfairs with a yellowjacket problem should really go out and buy a few dozen of these, and put them on the outside fence. If you find a nest- kill them. There are special long range “wasp” sprays made for this.