I can beat that. Or a friend of mine can anyway. He was once on a long bike ride and stopped to urinate in some bushes. While in the act, he was distracted by some nearby birds that he thought sounded like people talking. He was suddenly undistracted by a wasp stinging his penis. He said it was the worst pain he’d ever experienced, which I don’t find hard to believe.
Fucking wasps. Nature’s assholes.
I’ve read that the Tarantula Hawk wasp has one of the most painful stings you can get. I see them quite often in the summer and fall. I suppose that they have a few points in their favor though. First, they aren’t assholes, in fact they stay away from people in my experience. Second, as fast as I know they seem to be solitary insects. I’ve never seen more than one, maybe two, at a time. Third, they are our state insect, voted on by schoolkids who apparently recognize a bad ass insect when they see it.
I have the worst luck with regard to yellowjackets (ground paper wasps). I’ll usually stumble onto one nest a year, sometimes two. I’ll just be out cutting brush, minding my own business, then I feel a sting on one leg, then another leg, then look down and my pants are covered with the little buggers. Not uncommon to come away with 10 stings, and I’ve gotten as many as 30. Friends and family send me out into the brush first b/c they know I’ll find any nests if they’re around.
I keep bees, so I’m no stranger to stings, but wasp stings are more severe and they’ll do it multiple times. They’ll chase you further too. They have a job in nature like every other creature, but I do not care to be office colleagues with them.
I’d bite him back.
Bees don’t bite.
Those tarantula hawk wasps are indeed bad. We see a few every fall. My Son has had a sting. On his neck. He says he thought someone shot him.
Their defense mechanism works great against other animals I’m sure, but I’m a bit surprised that since they often make nests close to human habitation they haven’t evolved a more conservative approach to attacking humans. If I notice a wasp nest on my property, if it’s not too close to the house and they don’t seem super aggressive, I generally tend to live and let live.
But sting me or a member of my family? That wasp colony and every last wasp within it just sealed its fate…
IME, a lot of wasps are very nonaggressive to humans — unless the nest is disturbed or a wasp gets squashed. A lot of humans’ first response to the presence of a wasp is to squash it. Don’t do that.
I would be that, when you come out of the door and walk on the deck, the noise and vibrations put them into attack mode. You have to terminate that nest and any nest in or adjacent to any part of your house, garage, etc.
I think it may depend on the species, too. Yellowjackets, I find in general, are not too aggressive unless, as you say, they are disturbed.
Then there’s some species of ground-dwelling wasp-- smaller than yellowjackets and sort of an inconspicuous brown color-- which are very aggressive, seem to sting easily, and swarm around aggressively. We’ve had those under our deck a few times. Once my wife was stung on the foot, lost her sandal running away, and they swarmed in a cloud around the sandal for an hour or more afterward.
I’ve got wasp nests under the eaves of the house. They don’t bother anybody.
I agree that the problem with one under the deck is probably that walking over the deck disturbs the nest. Get a garden hose and turn a strong stream of water on the nest till you knock it loose with the water. They don’t seem to associate a human behind the hose with the sudden flood; plus which they can’t fly while they’re wet. You may have to do this several times before they give up rebuilding in the same location.
One of my earliest memories was seeing a pretty yellow and black bug that I thought would be neat to pick up. Of course, it was yellow jacket and was not neat to pick up. That was my first sting.
I made a childhood habit of getting stung by various wasps. The worst was a nest under our deck, vwhich resulted in like six stings. Always wasps. I was never stung by a bee until I was about 20. It happened once.
Somehow, since that bee sting, I’ve managed to avoid it altogether. 30 years or so with no stings.
Knock on wood (and hope there’s not a nest inside).
Ummm…I have zero sympathy for a wasp that was foolish enough to fly up in my face.
I’m gonna unalived any that are threatening.
There is a big ol’ wasp nest in the very top of the barn. No one is gonna go up on a ladder with the “spray foam that angers” to get rid of them. Oh hell no! They don’t bother, so they can have that.
Any other out-building is always suspect to harbor a wasp nest. Fine.
But…under the deck or on a eave at the house is not gonna fly. Eviction is eminent.
That’s a good tip for dealing with under-deck wasps, thanks. The way I’ve dealt with under-deck wasps in the past has been with a setup I originally got to deal with carpenter bees that dig deep holes in wood-- a powder insecticide delivered with a bellows-type squeeze thing and a nozzle at the end of a long metal tube. I have to wait until night when they’re dormant and shoot the powder through the gaps in the deck slats. Effective, but it usually takes a few nights to get them all. Your method has the advantage of being non-toxic and being able to keep more of a distance from them.
If you are going to hit them with water, leave the hose out in the sun for a couple of hours before doing it (or if possible, connect to your water heater). The hot water helps in taking the fight out of the bastards.
I read that as “leave the house out in the sun”, which was perplexing.
I’ve never found that necessary; and the water’s not going to stay hot anyway, unless you’ve got multiple hundreds of feet of hose attached. There’s not enough water in the usual 50 to 100 feet of hose to do the job.
In the other direction, if you live somewhere that gets cold weather and you can wait, if it’s cold enough you can pick up the nest and move it and the wasps won’t be able to move enough to do anything about it. I would recommend heavy gloves, or better yet a pickup tool.
Don’t leave the house in the sun. Bring it inside.