Hi, Marty from Phoenix! Care to eat bugs, you slime?

The BBQ Pit
21

I’ve simplifed my contact with telemarketers down to “gottagobye.” click Sorry. My mom and dad raised me better than that. But, because it’s gotten so ugly, telemarketers are lucky you aren’t subjects in a new Stanley Milgram experiment. I might just join the herd on this one.

I always wanted to be popular! ZAP!

AIEEEEE!

No, I don’t want to change my long distance provider!!! ZZZZZAAAAAP!

[sub]unnnh…[/sub]

What, I can’t hear you?!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Men in white coats pull Beagle off lever and administer a tranquilizer.

“Um, we’ll call that a strong willing.”

22

Sadly, Waverly, yes. It got kicked back.

They go online July 1 (or so) and begin functioning in approximately October.

Here’s some info for you.

23

*"Bugs? You want bugs? Man, has Marty got bugs for you! We stock Coleopterans, Diptera, Lepidoptera…

Right now we got a special on stinkbugs - only $29.95 a gross! And maggots…nobody beats our price on maggots!!!

Hello? Hello??"*

24

I just remembered another I got when I was working the front counter at the gym a few years ago.

A guy called me up and gave me this sales pitch:

“Hi, this is Jack Shit from Blah Blah phone company. We’re calling because your company registered with our phone book, and we wanted to offer you some free cell phones.”

“So let me get this straight: you admit to going right through the Yellow Pages?”