Got a call from a telemarketer-type person yesterday morning, and I think I may have upset her. Knowing the high degree of support telemarketers have in the Straight Dope community, and realizing that I might take some heat in consequence, I decided to relate this in the Pit. The conversation went something like this:
ZUT: Hello? TELEMARKETER-TYPE-PERSON: Hello, is this Mr. Zut? Z: Yes? TTP: Sir, I’m on a long-distance line, can you hear me OK? Z: Uh, sure (thinking, huh?). TTP: I’m calling from American Blah-blah Publisher’s Blah Sweepstakes, and I’m calling you because your history blah blah blah blah… Z (interrupting): Let me get this straight. You’re making a telemarketing call to me on a Sunday morning? TTP: Well, do you go to church on Sunday morning? Do you go shopping on Sunday morning? Z: Um, please place me on your do-not-call list. TTP: What about me? I have to work on Sunday morning! Z: Please place me on your do-not-call list. TTP: What’s the matter with Sunday morning? Z: Please place me on your do-not-call list. TTP: Blah blah respect blah blah take the time to… Z (interrupting): Please place me on your do-not-call list. TTP: Blah blah WORK HARD BLAH BLAH Sunday morning and… Z (interrupting): Please place me on your do-not-call list. TTP: Blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH-BLAH-BLAH blah blah Z (interrupting to try a different tack): Could you please tell me what company you work for again? TTP:click
So tell me, am I a bad person? I’ve been wringing my hands all day, worrying about the state of my karma. What should I have done differently? Should I not have interrupted her so many times? DId I upset her by mentioning the federally-mandated do-not-call list? Or perhaps she felt her professionalism was called into question when I asked for clarification on whether or not this was a telemarketing call? Such was not my intent, I swear! For the love of God, fellow dopers, help me become a better person by helping me understand what I did wrong! And forgive me, Saint Tonya, patron saint of telemarketers!
No, based on this conversation, this caller was obviously going out of their way to be obnoxious. You were much more patient with this fucko than I’d ever be, don’t worry about. it!
I worked as a telemarketer for a whole of 2 weeks during the summer after I graduated from high school. I got canned for not making my quota. I could tell then that I was not cut out for a career in sales.
I always preferred it when callers simply hung up if they didn’t want to talk to me. It meant that I could save my breath for someone else and didn’t get berated for being a scourge on the planet.
When a telemarketer calls me and I’m not interested, I just hang up. It saves both the caller and the callee time and effort. The telemarker’s quota isn’t as strongly affected as if you’d spent several minutes with them and didn’t buy anything, and you can go back to your Sunday morning with as little annoyance as possible.
Then again, I’ve known people who hated being hung up on. Maybe people like me simply make bad telemarketers and therefore make up only a small proportion of the total telemarketer population. Your chance of being called by a telemarketer who would prefer a simple click to a no-sale conversation might be very, very small.
I suppose that really wasn’t very helpful.
FWIW, I don’t think you were a horrible person at all. But I’ll tell you this much: Those “do-not-call” lists don’t really spare you from telemarketing calls at all. Neither does having an unlisted number. ’
When she is around, I try to give the telemarketing calls to my 4 3/4[sub](yes, the 3/4 is very important to her)[/sub] daughter. She usually says hello a couple of times then starts talking about the picture she just drew, or who she is going to play with tomorrow, etc.
I can’t wait until my 20 month old is talking better.
What should you have done differently? Hung up as soon as you heard, “I’m calling from American Blah-blah Publisher’s Blah Sweepstakes…”
That’s what I do. Every time. I just say, “We’re not interested, thank you,” and I hang up the phone, cheerfully ignoring the desperate “But, ma’am…!” squawking noises coming from the handset on its way down. Click.
Seriously, Zut, telemarketers don’t have time to have their feelings hurt. Within nanoseconds of the call ending, she was shrugging and dialing the next number, her encounter with you totally erased from her memory banks. Don’t sweat it.
No,no, no, don’t hang up. Just lay the receiver down on the couch cushion and go make yourself a cup of tea and a sandwich. When the phone starts saying “zee-zee-zee”, you replace it in its cradle.
Sometimes it takes them 10 minutes to notice, I swear.
It appears that I’m either more subtle or more muddled than I thought I was. The plea for forgiveness in the OP was mostly tongue-in-cheek*. I do appreciate the support, though.
I’ve read earlier telemarketing threads, where people have claimed that they like to aggravate telemarketers by verbally screwing with them. That’s not really my style, so it struck me as surreal that simply asking, “you’re making a telemarketing call to me on a Sunday morning?” (and not in a confrontational tone of voice, either) would lead to a diatribe on lack of respect and the effort involved in working on Sunday morning. So little stimulus, so great a response. I swear, I was beginning to wonder if I could qualify for a world’s record in repeating, “please place me on your do-not-call list.”
[sub]*Actually, it was completely tongue-in-cheek. I just wanted to reveal that fact one stage at a time.[/sub]
Not necessarily. I was a telemarketer for 5 months when I couldn’t find any other job. It sucked big time. Hearing people say “No” over and over again eventually takes it’s toll on you, plus the pressure exerted on you by management to make your quota is extremely stressful. You lose a lot of self esteem when you work as a telemarketer.
When I worked as one, it got so bad that management made us work only on commision. There were some weeks I was taking home checks less than $20.00.
Although I think there are some really hilarious responses that you can use, I believe it is best to just say, “Not interested”, and hang up. It’s easiest for the telemarketer, and minimizes the time you spend on the phone.
Re: the OP…
I wouldn’t sweat it. The guy calling you was a jerk. You get them occasionally.
I agree with Dragwyr. I try to set standards for myself regarding how I treat other people (including telemarketers); I say “sorry, not interested” and hang up. I haven’t wasted my time, and I haven’t wasted theirs. Since I have to live with myself for how I treat all people, Bossk, I will refrain from telling you what I think of your post as to the humanity of telemarketers.
I know we’re supposed to feel sorry for people who are just trying to make a living, blah, blah, blah - BUT that telemarketer was just asking for it when he or she got into the whole do you go to church, do you work, I work hard thing. I mean, really, is it Zut’s problem? The only problem Zut has is getting lectured by some stranger who interrupted his privacy by phoning him uninvited.
This is what I do all the time. I figure, telemarketers are bold enough to waste my time, I’ll do the same to them. Plus, as long as they’re on the phone waiting to talk with me, they won’t be calling someone else (you can all thank me later.)
Truthfully, it’s also out of vengance. What can I do to hurt a telemarketer? Loud noises don’t really work. Vulgarisms just roll off their backs. Maybe soon I’ll put a small slate blackboard beside my phone so I can run my fingernails down it. Until then the only thing I can do is waste their time.
If you stop by occasionally and say, “Oh, Mr. Bunny is on his way, he’ll be with you in a minute.” then it fools them into staying on line longer.
I’m quite curious to hear Dragwyr and Scribble’s reaction to this. I’m really quite a gentle guy. The kind that actually escorts house spiders to the front door rather than squashing them. But spiders are peaceful cohabitants. Telemarketers are trying to steal my time, or worse yet, my money. And frankly, I reserve the rights to be absolutely evil to them in most any way possible, to encourage them to stop harassing us.
Careful, Zut. The goddess of telemarketing is watching you. The only way to appease her now and attempt to undo the damage you’ve inflicted on the poor (apparently deaf) American Publishers wench is to cheerfully buy whatever the next telemarketer is selling. For your sake, I hope it’s not windows.
I use the Junkbusters anti-telemarketing script. It’s polite, to the point, and it’s cut down on telemarketing calls to our house by about 90% or so. We rarely get them these days.
Incidentally, according to the Junkbusters site, when you asked what company she worked for and she refused to answer (by hanging up), she broke the law, and you could probably sue. Of course, you almost certainly don’t want to actually go through the hassle of suing them, but still, if they call back again, tell them, “Are you aware that last time you called here, I asked to put on the do not call list, and that if you call me back within ten years, you’re violating the law?” In all the time I’ve been using the script, I’ve only had one company call me back after I asked to be placed on the do not call list, and when I politely stated the above, they fell over themselves apologizing, and I never heard from them again.
It really does work. Much more effective than being obnoxious, letting the kids answer the phone, playing word games with them, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseam.
Back in my school daze, when I actually had time on my hands, I got a call from someone at (insert name of midwestern capital) Steaks. I told her that I did not buy anything from telemarketers as a matter of principle. I was polite, and told her that I had no ill feelings towards her, but that was my rule.
Fast forward to about 20 minutes later, she was getting all flustered, asking “Why not?” and giving me all sorts of hypotheticals. As I said, I had free time then, and I was also drinking a beer and sucking on a bong. I had a blast. She basically wasted about 20 minutes of her own time. It was beautiful, baby.
When they ask “Is Mrs. Babe there?”(usually messing up her name. It is so obvious when they are reading off of a list), I will say that she passed away recently. That usually shuts down the call real quick.
