High on life! (er, Listerine)


Sure, if you’re some kind of aristocrat who drinks the fancy-schmancy, name brand Listerine. For the budget concious substance abuser, however, the generic knock-offs are the only way to go. Even the most discriminating palette can’t discern the difference.

Sometimes you don’t even have mouthwash. Then you make Pruno

I remember reading in one of Penn & Teller books about a prank played by the workers at the advertising agency that did the Listerine ads. They poured out the stuff and replaced it with apple juice. When someone remarked that Listerine had something in it that would make you gag if you drank it, one of the ad guys grabbed up the bottle and drank it down, then pretended to get violently ill. Apparently it worked too well. One of the people not in on the joke got sick from watching him do it.

I just had one problem with Cecil’s answer. He, you see, presumably lives in civilization. I don’t; I live in Pennsylania. Here, our state government is so concerned about protecting the citizenry from the *e-e-evils * of alcoholism that vodka isn’t sold on the same shelf as mouthwash; it isn’t even sold in the same stores. Therefore, if you want to buy something containing real alcohol, you have to go to a state store. They are, however, easing up. Recently, a few select state stores in a few select locations have actually – *gasp! * – opened on Sundays! Since the number of alcoholics has not sky-rocketed, they may even allow a few more to open. :rolleyes:

Do you get the impression that I’m not exactly in favour of my state’s liquor laws? :wink:


For years I had to tell my dentist not to give little old alcoholic me the goodie bag that included a small bottle of Scope. Now he puts a big “NO ALCOHOL” stamp on the outside of my and other patient’s folders.

Back in Junior High School we used to get bottles of lemon extract and dump them in a Big Gulp to get drunk. Now they’re coming out with Lemon Coke, Lime Coke, Vanilla Coke, etc.

Looks like the marketing folks at Coca-Cola are now among my peer group.

Ahh, memories…

I’m just wondering about the SD on that time Noah got drunk on vanilla extract…

I’m not at all surprised by the idea of drinking Listerine to get drunk. That’s what all the homeless drunks in my neighborhood drink. Because, as the Captain said, those cheap knockoffs are, well, cheap. I found a reciept in the neighborhood laundromat for a bottle for 99 cents. Can’t beat that.


At least your homeless drunks’ breath are ‘minty fresh’.

Mine just smell like sour shit.


My drunks are better than your drunks!

I had never considered that people actually drank the stuff to get drunk.

I just figured that people failed breathalyzer tests after using mouthwash because the alcohol left over in their mouth would cause a false positive in the test.

The real question isn’t “can you get drunk on Listernine,” it’s “can you get a DUI conviction.” So, the REAL real question is, “can you blow higher than .08% blood alcohol on a breathalyzer and get tossed in the slammer,” right? Seems to me there’s enough alcohol fume, regardless of the type, in your lungs after using mouthwash that it would show up …

They did a Mythbusters episode on various ways to beat the breathalyzer (mints, onions, etc.), none of which work, and noted that mouthwash actually increased the reading by more than double

Which would explain why he turned white, but what the hell was Ham drinking?