Zero-Gee Phys Ed.
Hovercar drag racing.
Getting the newest neurochip surgically installed.
Slumming outside the city, dodging the flesh-eating mutants.
Virtual body shots.
Leave it to me to misspell “fifth”.
Shit.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Virtual reality classrooms.
Trying to sneak out at night, to go meet the the guy from the other side of the dome… you know the one who’s parents couldn’t afford the newest neurochip.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
4 year olds being tried for as adults for 1st degree murder after they blow the head off fellow students will ray guns! WOW!
Cussing at your computer as Windows MCLXIIIV* crashes and loses your thesis on boy bands at the turn of the 21st century.
(*I’ll be the first to admit that I’m severely roman numeral impaired, so don’t gripe if the characters are in the wrong order – for comedic purposes only!)
“Love Story? There’s two things wrong with that movie: No Smokey, and no Bandit!” – Eric Forman, That 70’s Show
Watching Dick Clark ring in the new year 2450…
The typical student will probably arrive dressed in the current and outlandishly decorated form of body armor, pass through the weapons detector and enter the grounds which have armed security every 20 feet in full riot gear. Beyond the school, past the electrified security fences, past the 100 foot no mans zone, with mines, will lurk the child snatchers, the drug dealers, parental kidnappers and general perverts.
Under the watchful eye of security cams, the students will find new ways to beat each other up, probably using plastic knives not detected by the metal detectors and the on-site emergency hospital will put them back together again before first period. There will be no racial discrimination by then but hostilities will probably based on either what gang the student is in or eye color they have.
The school will be bomb proof, bullet proof, and resemble a prison. The teachers will be highly paid (I mean, if we’re dealing in fantasy here, might as well go all the way, right?) and encased behind a blast proof shield at the front of the class, wearing body armor for when they need to mingle with the students. They will be armed with stun guns, pepper spray, and rubber bullet loaded shotguns.
The many computers in the students rooms will be encased in steel, bolted to desks, with shatter proof glass covering the screens. Each student will carry a small device which will have a direct line to A: his or her lawyer, B: the local chapter of the Children’s Rights establishment C: a bondsman, and D: his or her shrink.
And, this is a PUBLIC school, reserved only for the poor because the neglect of the State governments in making schools better a couple of hundred years ago, prompted people to establish and fill private schools only for those who could afford them. This did not distress State governments because they could then continue to steal as much money reserved for public education as possible.
Having your homecoming game disrupted by arrival of alien battle fleet. That’s gotta suck.
…send lawyers, guns, and money…
Warren Zevon