My flower girl had never been to a wedding before, and although her mother thought she had explained everything to her, we obviously missed a step. Because as she walked down the aisle she carefully dropped the rose petals IN to the pews so that the guests could walk on them. Not a single one was in the aisle!
Ah, thrown bouquet stories.
When my brother got married, it soon became time for SIL to throw the garter. The only single men there were me and two ushers. All of us were aged 16-17. We stood there with our hands in our pockets as we watched the garter land in the driveway. There couldn’t possibly have been more apathy. None of us wanted to be the one to touch it.
I was at a wedding once where the flower girl threw the flower petals AT THE GUESTS. With as great a force as a three-year-old could throw handfuls of flower petals.
How many guests had to be hospitalized?
Of course, there was also the Lord’s Prayer.
The paster told us beforehand that we would be using “debts” and “debtors” vs. “transgressions” and “transgressors”. We printed in the programs that we would be using “debts” and “debtors” vs. “transgressions” and “transgressors”. He announced to the congregation that we would be using “debts” and “debtors” vs. “transgressions” and “transgressors”.
So when we get to the relative part, my groom of course said “transgressions” and “transgressors” without thinking and it so jarred the pastor that we all ended up pausing for a minute before a few chuckles and titters got us back on track.
It was just the stunned look on the pastor’s face that was so memorable. After that, I could never hear the Lord’s Prayer without thinking of my wedding day. Well, until my now ex took it as an insult since he made a mistake and that’s what i remembered. . .
rolls eyes
Not wedding related but…
Back when I went to Wayne Central High School, English class for Juniors and Seniors was set up in such a way that you could choose from a list of mini-classes that focused on certain types of subjects. Poetry, Afro-American Literature, Small Town Literature, things like that. Each mini-class was half a semester, so in two years you’d get eight different subjects.
It was traditional that the last mini-class that seniors took was improvisational theatre. It was kind of a gimme because it was basically impossible to fail. It was just a lot of fun where we acted out ridiculous scenes and made asses of ourselves. At the end of the sememster we took the best skits we had come up with and put on a Monday night show. Parents, siblings, friends, and whoever could show up to watch.
We started the show by doing a bit about a wax museum, and then we would turn to the audience and say, in unison, “Live from Wayne Central, it’s Monday Night!”
I’ll let you guess what half of the performers did.
…I can’t guess. Mooned the audience?
About 14 years ago, my (very American) friend married an English girl. I was the best man. We all went to England for the ceremony, which was held in a ridiculously beautiful, ancient (I believe it dated back to well before 1000 AD) church. The ceremony was a full-mass affair, old-world elegant and austere. Very dignified and beautiful.
Until my buddy, the groom, got all caught up in the moment, and began, completely unconsciously, repeating his vows in a thick, drawn-out English accent.
The guy grew up in Alabama, fer chrissakes. 
His brother and I were desperately trying not to crack up, which, needless to say, was not the least bit in line with the solemnity of the occasion.
Were you there or something?
Some friends of mine who got married right after the bride finished grad school: After the bride threw her bouquet to all the unmarried women, she threw her thesis to all the ungraduated grad students.
This is the best one yet. I LOL’d.
mr_and_mrs_bro_mcl, who got married in September, are both in the last phases of graduate school (bro_mcl points out that ABD is Arabic for “slave”); if only one of them had graduated, this would have made the whole day.
My parents got married during the Depression. Since my grandfather and uncles were bakers and caterers, there was a ton of food at the reception, including several wedding cakes. And there was a sign on the bakery, inviting everyone to the reception. Since a lot of people were going hungry in those days, it wasn’t long before some of the guests started putting food into their pockets and purses. Then there were people passing food out the windows to their friends. One woman was caught walking out with an entire wedding cake (my grandfather let her keep it).
It was like a neighborhood all-you-can-eat party.
My best friend got married on April Fool’s Day (they claimed that way if anything went wrong - they could just blame the day).
Rather than a ringbearer, they decided to use a teddybear sitting in a remote control jeep. The groomsmen spent so much time at the rehearsal and the morning of the wedding “practicing” aka playing with it - that sure enough, half way down the extremely short aisle, the battery died.
The best man shamefacedly retrieved it - apologizing to the bride, shaking her head at “the boys and their toys”.
I may have told this story before. I used to be the editor of a small-town weekly newspaper. One afternoon I got a call that a couple would be getting married that night at the (God help us all) Tobacco Festival, which was being held in town that week. Part of the festivities were carnival rides.
This couple, two “carnies” who traveled with the rides, were getting married on the Tilt-a-Whirl, “the best ride in the whole fair!” enthused the bride to me when I wandered around to check it out.
That evening I showed up with my camera to take some pictures, fully expecting an extremely casual affair. Perhaps the bride would be in a pressed jeans and a blouse? I fully expected shorts and a T-shirt. NOPE. The bride was in a full-length white wedding gown, the groom in a tuxedo, and one of the groomsmen, in tuxedo, had a strapped-on keyboard, upon which he played the Wedding March as the happy couple made their way up the ramp to the entrance to the Tilt-a-Whirl.
Vows were exchanged, and, as promised, the newlyweds boarded the Tilt-a-Whirl and took the the tradiational First Ride into Wedded Bliss.
I am not making this up.
I was at one wedding reception where none of the single men wanted any part of the ceremonial tossing of the garter. But the bride was getting angsty about it, so the groom begged and in order to keep the peace we all stood there as the rent-a-crowd.
The garter was thrown and the crowd of guys parted like the Red Sea. I think it ended up lying on the floor for pretty much the rest of the reception.
There was another wedding where in place of the flowers or the garter, the bride decided to throw a teddy bear. Unfortunately, two members of the front row for the mighty Petersham RUFC fourth XV were in attendance and somewhat smashed.
We formulated a plan with one of the other guys in attendance, then worked our way to the front of the group where we hung about as inconspicuously as we could. Just as the bear was being tossed into the crowd we grabbed the third guy’s belt and hoisted him in a lineout lift - about four feet above the crowd - where he managed to pick the bear out of the air without too much trouble.
Aah, the sight of bridesmaids out for blood…
This had me laughing out loud! Did they remove the cage before the bride/groom shared a piece, or did several guests see the cage/situation?
I was presiding at the wedding of two good friends. We rehearsed everything and because I subscribe to the “a dull pencil beats a sharp memory” mindset I typed up the ceremony and had it in front of me.
As the bride entered I did one little ad-lib and requested the attendees to rise.
She takes her place and I begin the ceremony. The groom keeps mumbling something under his breath, I figure he’s just keeping his vows in mind.
Groom starts mumbling louder. I look over at him and in a loud stage whisper he says “BE SEATED!” I’d forgotten to tell everyone to sit down again.
Got a lot of laughs.
When we got married, it was suits, not tuxes, for the men. My mom drove down the day before to help out, but she forgot to bring the veil with her (can’t remember why she had it?). She called my dad 3 or 4 times to remind him to bring it. He did bring it, but forgot his suit. So the father of the bride was wearing Dockers and a work shirt (white, short-sleeved) from the day before. We stuck his boutonniere thingy to his pocket. I’m not sure anyone noticed, but it was pretty funny.
After my brother’s wedding, two of our friends (from our RPG group) asked to be pointed to the priest at the banquet, as “a priest who quotes Yoda and Tolkien is a priest I want to have a talk with!”
Sadly, the priest couldn’t stay (he had two other weddings in the same day - in two other towns!), but the friends still claim that the pictures we have, of that same priest holding a giggling teenaged girl in his arms over a bonfire, are Photoshopped. They’re not, we just happen to know some, ahem, extremely informal priests. He’s not the weirdest, just one of the youngest. There’s another priest from the same congregation who says he’s always bemused by people who think he can be scandalized about anything “after 15 years of being a prison priest.”
…I guess I CAN guess!