Well I don’t have any stories but does anyone know any odd things that happened at weddings they were at? Any pranks or disasters with cake in fact?
When a good friend got married the reception was at an Elks Club. When it came time to throw the bouquet they more or less rounded up all seven or so of us unmarried females and escorted us onto the fllor. The bride turned her back and threw the bouquet. She forgot the ceiling was only 10 feet up or so, and the bouquet hit the ceiling and dropped like a rock.
The seven of us eyed it, and each other and no one moved. We stood there for maybe a minute until one gal who was unofficially engaged ran forward and grabbed it. The rest of of scattered as fast as we could. The bride was busy laughing and I heard her mother say “do you want to try the throw again?” The bride replied " I don’t think you could get them to do it again " and kept laughing.
Not sure how funny this was at the time, but back in '62, my cousin Eleanor got married, and all the kid cousins were there - I was 8. There was a fountain with red punch that was really good, and we helped ourselves liberally. I’m guessing no one knew it was spiked, and more than a couple of us little ones puked on the dance floor. :eek: Despite that inauspicious beginning, my cousin is still married and is a great grandmother.
My wedding was a little unusual, not all that funny. While everyone was seated, waiting, wondering what the big delay was about, we were desperately trying to find the judge, a friend of my about to be father-in-law. In the meantime guests kept wandering out to the hotel lobby to shake hands and get an autograph from Larry Holmes, recently crowned WBC Heavyweight Champion who was staying there. Finally we got word that the judge was found out on the golf course. His reported response when asked why he wasn’t at the wedding was “That’s today?!”. 15 minutes later a police car pulled up, siren blaring, lights blinking, and the judge got out, rushed into the ballroom, ran through the ceremony in about 30 seconds, shook a few hands and started to head out, back to the golf course I assume. I tried to pay him for the service but he just laughed, said he didn’t accept payment normally, and definitely wouldn’t in this case.
Years ago I attended a wedding because the woman I was dating was the maid of honor. Minutes before the start of the huge church wedding, the woman I was dating came running out to the pews to get me. Turns out the best man’s baby had just died. It had been in the NICU since birth, so the death wasn’t a surprise, but the best man had to leave.
So I filled in as best man at a wedding where I knew only one person. The mother of the bride was a huge cunt, screaming at me to do things that I had no knowledge about. “WHY HAVEN’T YOU GOTTEN THE BAND READY?”, “DID YOU REMEMBER TO BRING THE XYZ?”, “DON"T JUST STAND THERE, MAKE BLAHBLAH ANNOUNCEMENT!”
It was a shitshow. To top it all off, the bride was caught in bed with her old boyfriend about 6 weeks after the wedding and the husband filed for divorce.
When my brother got married, at the exact moment when the priest blessed the rings, the bride’s garter fell off.
At my brother’s wedding, when they did the cake cutting and feed-each-other-a-piece thing, my SIL fed my brother, but then kind of moved her face as he was going in, and he bounced it off her chin and straight down her cleavage. They both froze for a minute as everyone cracked up, then turned their backs for a whispered consultation. Still with her back to the audience, she held the neckline of her dress, and he reached in to retrieve it. Way, way in. That thing must have stopped at her panties. He pulled it out, looked at it, looked at her, and then popped it in his mouth to general applause.
Their wedding had a short reception right after the ceremony, then a couple of hours break where everyone went back home and changed into casual clothes. We reconvened to dance in the driveway and party all evening. During the break, someone had gone and gotten developed a set of eight or twelve pictures that they took during the cake cutting, and put them in an album for everyone to look at and laugh over during the reception. 
Not a ‘funny’ story…
Friend’s wedding… ceremony went well enough, and then everybody troops off to the reception. A few people went early to set up chairs and crap.
One old guy from the church drops dead of a heart attack while getting the room ready. They are hauling him out on a stretcher as the crowd starts to filter in.
Not everybody knew what happened, but the buzz was seriously harshed from the start. About an hour into the scene, people are coming around, the mood is improving. People are starting to have fun.
Then Debbie Downer gets up, grabs a mic and announces Old Man What’s-his-face is DEAD!
It was like a needle being dragged across a record. All fun and good times immediately came to an abrupt end. Very much like this couple’s lives, actually.
Worst Wedding Ever! (Not really. They are all equally terrible)
At my son’s wedding his wife’s mother and stepmother turned up in identical dresses. Moreover, the guy who announced the incoming guests’ names got mixed up between them. But everyone behaved well.
When my son got married, I guess it was the first time he saw the bride actually wearing her dress. He blurted out, “You look AMAZING!.”
As far as disasters go, I can rattle off a long list. At one wedding, the ring bearer got sick. We didn’t see that particular moment, but we did see him being passed down the line from best man to groomsman until the last one hustled the kid out the side door.
Two little things:
At my own wedding the minister was standing in such a way that the setting sun (an outdoor wedding) was right in his eyes and he couldn’t read the cards and the Bible he had. In the backseat of his pickup the father of the best man had a white baseball cap with the oversized flat brim (they’re very popular today with teenagers and look completely ridiculous) that said CAPTAIN VACATION! on it in big red letters. Well, any port in a storm…
At the time I was pissed because it made the minister look like a moron. Now, 17 years later, I just laugh. And am a bit embarrassed I thought it was a big deal at the time.
My nephew got married a couple years ago to a woman that he had only known for a few months and who is the physical embodiment of the entire DSM-5. After firing the minister 5 days before the ceremony, they had to find someone else pronto. Well, it turned out her grandmother was a ULC minister. Great!
Unfortunately, on the Big Day it was apparent that grandma was either a total noob at the wedding stuff, was completely senile, or both. She had no idea what to say or what kind of speech to give. So imagine the “Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today” speech from the Princess Bride delivered by the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons. And then after the ceremony – like way after, after the food and the gifts and all that crap had been done and people were hanging out and dancing, granny rushed into the crowd and suddenly declared the marriage isn’t valid yet because she forgot some of the requisite words. So everything came to a halt while someone went to fetch the bride and groom and bring them to the center of the big dance area where granny was still standing. The bride had a shoebox in her hand because she was doling out little party favors when she was summoned and the groom had been eating a hot dog so in one hand was half a hot dog and in his other was a soggy paper plate dripping baked beans. Right then and there granny made them restate their vows (this time reading from a script on her phone) and then did the “by the powers vested in me blah blah blah I now pronounce blah blah” which apparently was the part she actually forgot the first time around.
That whole wedding was bizzare, but that was the weirdest part.
My wife got stung by a bee, on her leg under her dress, at our wedding.
The last wedding I was a part of had its moments. What I remember was two of the ushers being designated to keeping the groom sober and ready to go, and myself and the best man (the groom’s brother) being designated the official “get everything ready at the reception hall (miles away in the middle of a cornfield) (this being Indiana)” guys. This took enough time that they were beginning to wonder if we were going to make it to the ceremony on time. (Names made up) The groom was later quoted as observing “I gave Ted and Bill $500, the keys to my truck and told them to pick up the beer. What the FUCK was I thinking?”
FOR THE RECORD: We were both there on time and reasonably sober for the wedding. Is a little faith too much to ask?
When I officiated my favorite nephew’s wedding, at one point I produced a small, rattan box and surreptitiously opened it as I said some wise words. The box held two white doves (homing pigeons) that the bride and groom knew nothing about.
The birds exploded out of the box, as doves will do. One flew up into the sky, the other flew right into the brides face. Heh. It made the wedding highlight reel and still gets talked about today.
When I officiated another nephew’s wedding, one of the bride’s aunts approached me at the reception and told me how lucky my congregation was to have me. The bride said, “I’m pretty sure kayaker is an atheist” and the aunt responded, “oh, I didn’t know he was from the south”.
Never figured that one out.
My now ex-husband and I were both in the Army when we married. The groomsmen were all from different services and wore their uniforms. I’d already thrown the bouquet, and the girl that caught it was the girlfriend of one of the groomsmen. When the groom threw the garter it arced towards that guy and two of his friends grabbed his arms and pulled him back, calling “The Air Force protects it’s own!” The garter fell to the ground. So it was thrown again, and another guy took it.
This wedding I attended goes back 25 years or more, in my single days. At this wedding they did the bride/groom garter dance, where the bride sits in a chair in the center of the dance floor, and the groom makes a big show of removing the garter from her thigh (sometimes with his teeth), accompanied by a sexy song. Then (at least in this version) the bride does the bouquet toss, the groom tosses the garter he removed from his bride, and the recipients of each do the garter dance in reverse; with the single woman who caught the bouquet sitting in the chair, and the single guy who caught the garter putting it on her, sliding it up her leg to above the knee, again usually accompanied by sexy music.
Well, this stage of the ritual is usually more awkward and less hammed up than the bride/groom dance, since the two people may not know each other well; certainly not as well as the bride and groom know each other. But in this case it was awkward times a million, because the guy who caught the garter was me, in my late 20s or 30 at the time; and the female who caught the bouquet was a girl about 13 or 14 who I didn’t know at all.
I expected the dance part to be called off, but the clearly uncomfortable girl was seated in the chair, while I look around to see if anybody was going to intervene. But people are watching expectantly, and the DJ starts playing a sexy song-- “You Can Leave Your Hat On” by Joe Cocker, or something similar. So I’m thinking “Really??? How exactly do I handle this?” I decide I’ll just walk up and hand the garter to her, but as soon as I take a step toward her she runs off.
Not so much funny as a weird coincidence. When we decided to get married we were on a tight budget and a short time schedule, so we did things like self-catering and relying on friends to help organize things. Two of our friends had gotten married in May, and we ended up hiring the same DJ company for our August wedding. When the DJ was setting up, we realized it was the same person who had done our friend’s wedding. We didn’t think anything of it at first, but then when we were talking to him we found out that it was the owner of the company, and he mentioned that he seldom did the DJ work any more. However, for both of our weddings the DJ who was supposed to be working got sick at the the last minute, so the owner had to fill in.
He was also rather bemused by the fact that he recognized a lot of the people at our wedding, having seen them just a few months ago at our friends’ wedding.
One of my sisters cries pretty easily, so when she and her groom were standing in front of the priest, I thought she’d started sobbing.
Nope.
Turns out she’d gotten a case of the giggles, but no one else knew because we only saw their backs.
I can so feel your pain. I would have died a thousand deaths in that situation.
The day of my brothers’ wedding, he handed me two jeweler’s bags and asked me to hold onto the rings until the ceremony. I was curious, but thought it would be rude so I didn’t look at the rings then. People, if you’re ever in a position where you’re asked to hold onto something as important as the wedding rings, being polite isn’t half as important as making sure that you were actually given what you thought you were given! So, long story short: there were three identical jeweler’s bags: one for each ring, and one for the bride’s earrings. I scarcely need tell you that what I was actually given was one bag containing a ring and one empty bag that had held the earrings. :smack:
Fortunately, the bride and groom had all of their stuff in their trunk already, so my dad and I just had to dig through their car for a few minutes while the officiant told an interesting story about the history of the area.