Somehow I overlooked this responsibility.
And this as well. I was honest with my kids. I told them that they had to obey their mom, but I also was honest about the fact that I didn’t like the woman. And there was also the fact that she often said horrible stuff about me to them, yet I refused to reciprocate.
Thinking back, though, they were 10 and 13.
Neither of us involve the children in our relationship. As much as I am angry with her, she is a good, decent person.
Oh, man, she divorces you every year?
Sorry, that was my first read and I couldn’t resist. But I applaud your parenting. Your kids’ll graduate to buying her presents on their own, but in the meantime you’re modeling how to do it, and how to treat people well even when there’s conflict.
That’s the ideal and what I tried initially. My kids would get angry at me for not returning fire.
My ex is a decent enough person, other than her insistence on martyrdom. 30 years after the divorce, she’s still playing that game. I refuse to engage, and the rare times we happen to be in the same arena (family picnic, etc.) I mainly just ignore her. This is a person who has never been unable to move on from. . .anything.
Is it normal for three year olds to do the exact opposite of what you tell them to do?
I say “sit down,” he stands up.
I say, “stay right here,” he takes off clear across the building and damned near gets through the exit because a “helpful” kid is holding the door open for him.
I’m not sure I’m going to survive three. Just a few more months to go. I’m white knuckling it. Don’t even tell me about four.
I’d say it depends on the kid. As he gets older he will, hopefully understand that he needs to listen. I had one that I called nametellmetwice. Good luck.
This, unfortunately, is me.
I am in therapy with all of a psychiatrist, a psychologist and a life coach but I struggle to drop things. I recognise that, at least. I don’t consider her choices to be based on anything but reasonable decisions*, but it hurt me emotionally so much it is hard to get out of the blame and anger mentality. I am the irrational one. And that sucks.
* I disagree with the decisions, but they were made rationally.
Yep. And if you had another child, they’d on purpose like things the other hates.
Kid 1: “Oh, I like this oatmeal!”
Kid 2: “I hate oatmeal.”
Kid 2: “I love soccer - it’s my favorite sport.”
Kid 1: “Soccer sucks.”
I think all the contrariness is a sort of sibling rivalry thing to get attention, and when there’s only one, the rivalry is with you.
We decided to get the Christmas tree set up today. The kind with built in lights. We got it as a hand me down when my FIL sold his house.
Last year we had some missing lights we couldn’t fix. We ended up not even decorating the tree. I dreaded trying to fix it this year.
Put the tree up. Plugged it in. Zero lights anywhere.
My husband takes one look at the tree, says, “Well, it says online they are selling trees at Kohl’s with no lights for $100.”
Sounds like a fucking deal to me.
This reminded me of the time I attended Swan Lake in Paris - first time I’d ever seen a live ballet performance. The man sitting next to me was making comments, in French, all thru the performance - stuff like “Incroyable!” and “Magnifique!” Annoying, but whatever. Then, come intermission, he turned to the person with him and started speaking English in the twangiest Texan accent… all I could think was “Who are you trying to impress?” I did resist the urge to laugh.
Yeah, we’re all in awe of such superior audience members.
Ever sat behind a butt-dancer at a concert? I went to one where dancing at the front near the stage was encouraged, so people stood up to dance. The guy in front of me - very large, very tall - decided he’d rather butt-dance in his seat, wildly gyrating and then complaining that he couldn’t see the act because of people dancing in front of him. Wanted to swat him up side the head, but couldn’t muster up the moxie.
My youngest is 9 and she still does that sometimes.
But at 3 definitely. And when you think you figured them out and try reverse psychology and tell them to do the opposite of what you actually want them to do, then they do what you tell them. It’s maddening.
In a similar vein, there are a few episodes of some sitcoms – the kind that were filmed in front of a live audience – that are virtually unwatchable because of some one member of the audience that constantly cackles like a deranged hen on even the mildest provocation. In retrospect, it’s astounding to me that a major television production would ever permit the general public anywhere on the premises, but I guess unfortunately the idea of a “studio audience” is well entrenched and performers often need the feedback.
More pertinent to your Person Who Appreciates Music More Than Anyone Else was an episode of Real Time With Bill Maher a few weeks ago. I know not everyone is a fan – hate me if you will – but I still watch it. And that episode featured one or two assholes at the back of the studio (it was hard to tell if it was more than one) who felt it essential to express their appreciation for every single thing that Maher said by yelling “Woo-hoo!” at a volume that would normally require a high-powered amplifier to achieve. It was literally difficult to watch the show. I can only imagine what it must have been like to be an audience member nearby.
It’s always been my belief that the woo-hoo idiots want to be able to tell their friends “That was me on Colbert!” or “You can hear me at the end of (song name) on the live album!” Wow, so now we all know you’re a moron!
Thanks for being so patient with us.
When you wait for hours in a long line, you really don’t have control over where they seat you. Sitting in the front row was such a long shot; it was nice & it did have more leg room.
That the camera panned over us several times during the show we had no control over; usually they edit things like that out.
Still, maybe you’re right: a moron wouldn’t know that someone wasn’t happy for them.
I wanted to look at my daughter’s Amazon wish list.
Used to be, it would say when the item was added. So you could tell “this was something she wanted 15 years ago and forgot to remove” versus “she added it 2 months ago and likely still wants”.
They’ve gotten rid of this. Fuckers. Only thing I can think of is they decided it was resulting in fewer sales of old crap nobody wants any more.
They also got rid of the ability to display all questions for an item. You can SEARCH for questions by keyword, but no way to see what other questions have been asked.
I’m truly baffled as to why Amazon would TAKE AWAY such useful features that, truly, cost them nothing to maintain. Bastards.
I’ve done senior dog rescue for years and seen many to the ends of their lives. And they usually go one of three ways. One is pretty sudden. They’re apparently fine one day and gone the next. One is with some specific warning. A terminal diagnosis. You know it’s coming and you have some idea that certain things are a sign of the disease worsening. And one is just… a slow decline. Months of questioning- is she happy? Is she suffering? What’s the right thing to do?
That’s where we are now. My old girl isn’t tolerating her dog food anymore. It makes her sick. And she only eats a little bit of it, with lots of coaxing. She does eat and tolerate the kind I’ve been cooking for her, but it doesn’t have all the nutrients she needs long-term.
We’re going to go see the vet again this week for blood work and to talk about what supplements she needs in order to make homemade dog food a viable and healthy solution. I’m almost hoping there’s something in the blood results to tell me what to do and when.
She doesn’t play anymore. No interest in toys. I have to drag her out of bed in the morning and, while I think she does still like going to work, she used to be excited about it and she just isn’t anymore. The only time I see her wag her tail these days is when she’s about to get some of that homemade food. She sleeps all the time. Cognitively, she’ll show flashes of her old self, but there are clear signs that a lot of it just isn’t there anymore. She used to do puzzles and all kinds of tricks and she doesn’t seem to have any comprehension of any of that at this point.
On the other hand, she’s blessedly not arthritic. She’s not as strong as she was, but apart from the digestive issues, I don’t get the impression she’s in pain.
I’m not ready to let her go. And she’s not ready to go. I love her so much. I can’t stand the idea of just having her fade away slowly for months and months.
It really sucks losing a pet. Our cat is now in her teens and is getting arthritic. I’ve started her on cat arthritis treats, so we’ll see if it helps. Otherwise, she’s pretty healthy. I’ve bonded with this cat more than any other animal I’ve owned, so it’s going to be really bad when it’s her time
I still miss mine. My baby Merlin.