About five years ago, my in-laws did a ‘reverse mortgage’ on their house and cashed out for about $11,000.00. They used some of this money to buy two sheds for the back yard-one for her crap, one for his crap. Can you guess what happened? They love to hit the yard sales and flea markets on weekends, and before they could clear any of the crap out of their house, the sheds were both full with whole new crap. Bought at prices so low they “couldn’t resist”. :smack:
My MIL tried to give me a rice steamer once. I need a rice steamer like I need a new hole in my head. When I cook rice, I already have a rice cooker, it’s called a pot and a stove! She had bought it (she doesn’t cook anymore) because it was ‘still new, in the box, and it was only $2.00". My FIL once ‘gifted’ me with a case of packets of dried lemon extract! WTF am I supposed to do with a freakin’ case of dried lemon extract? He had bought it (I’m sure you can guess) because it was ‘too cheap to pass up’.
I love finding a bargain as much as the next guy (or girl), but spending $5.00 on something I will never use or sell for a profit is $5.00 that could have gone toward something useful!
It seems that hording, whether animals or junk happens to older people, and people who are alone
In my childhood, there was an elderly woman who lived across the street named Miss. Pearson. She was probably in her 70’s and lived by herself in an immaculate home. She would always be outside taking care of her yard in this working class neighborhood.
I moved away in my teens, but still was in contact with a friend from the old neighborhood who also knew Miss. Pearson. Miss. Pearson went off the deep end a bit (probably Alzheimers) and turned into a horder of newspapers, magazines and whatnot. She did not remember me, although I lived across the street from her and once I was with my father when he taught her how to use a pistol (our neighborhood changed, and her house was robbed.) Eventually, one of her children rescued her and put her in a home.
My maternal grandmother, who I did not know well was apparently a horder of documents and receipts, kept stuff like 30 year old paycheck stubs from her dead husband. Some people just can’t bear to throw anything away.
There was a neighbor of my mother’s who was in her late 70’s. Very, very reclusive. In poor health. Widowed, no kids, no social network. My mother took her grocery shopping once a week or so. In the summer they would stop at yard sales (this is how old folks entertain themselves, their not being age 25 going out clubbing). Neighbor was totally confused about what could go out in the recycling bin or couldn’t and jars, cans, bottles, books, newspapers, and about 20 years worth of magazines just sort of piled up in the basement. Plus a lifetime’s worth of ‘stuff’ in the house from when her husband was alive, and of course neighbor’s yard sale finds. Neighbor didn’t throw barbeques and socialize, hardly anyone spoke to her, and she let no one in her house! (It looked fine on the outside.) My mother helped her carry her groceries as far as the garage and was thanked but never invited inside - should my mom have strong-armed neighbor aside and gone bursting in? (well, maybe!) After she was not seen for days, the police were called and she was found dead in the midst of all that stuff. So who should have rented a truck and hauled it all away? My mom? Should this elderly lady have just woke up one fine day and started calling around for a U-Haul rental, or what? Start piling her dead husband’s clothes, cufflinks, shoes, into trash bags? Point is, she had NO ONE. Things got away from her, and no one knew until after she was dead. It’s easy to be an outsider and judge. It’s even easier to have no close friends or relatives in your life to care, and to die alone. Very sad. Maybe the Hoarders shows will jog some people into awareness that these situations exist right next door.
I’ve never watched the show, but I have a regular customer in my restaurant who was featured on it. From all accounts, being on the show helped him a lot to get his home cleaned up, though he’s almost backslid a few times.
Someone who watched the episode he was on told me that his bedroom was piled high with used soda cups from our restaurant.
We had Adella, a mean old bitty who wouldn’t give up hardly anything. No running water or toilet.
We had Teri and Kerry - huge slobs with a 12 yr old and an 8 yr old. Living in Hawaii in complete squalor. There was no food fit to eat in that house.
Gordon and Gaye, a couple in their 70’s with their 30+ yr old children living with them. Their house was falling apart around their ears. They had no running water either.
And Sir Patrick - an eccentric little man who loved pretty things. He was the least offensive to me.
My friend C. tried to get our mutual (and former) friend P. on this show; she was a great candidate for it. But she backpedaled, saying she did not want to be seen on TV and was afraid her colleagues in the entertainment industry would see her on it.
So she continues to live in a landfill of a house, with her deceased parents’ belongings piled up everywhere; at least two or three rooms in the house cannot be entered because there is no place to walk; the back patio has crap piled high; the kitchen sink drain leaks constantly because she won’t let a plumber in to fix it; the answering machine quit working; the microwave has been known to come on by itself; and the fridge is on its last legs.
She’s got a huge pile of money socked away but is loathe to spend any of it on repairs or replacements.
Being on the Hoarders show would have gotten her free assistance and counseling.
I saw it. Poor Sir Patrick…he was obviously mad as a hatter, but I almost wished I knew him. That counselor said he just wanted someone to share his life with, but I’m not so sure. I can’t imagine him letting anyone in, physically or emotionally.
Gordon and Gaye: Gordon said the kids got to be teens, and no one felt like picking up after anyone else, so no one did. Wow. The perplexing part about that one was that the kids were nearly forty and neither had ever left home. If anyone ever said why not, I missed it.
Adella pissed me off something fierce…I see she had the same effect on her daughters! Definitely a lost cause.
My wife and oldest daughter watch this show a lot. They watch a lot of what I call “freak shows” (they’re big on the “I didn’t know I was pregnant,” and “I’m 15 and pregnant” type shows too). I always find the hoarders to be just maddening. Is hoarding recognized as a DSM IV disorder? If not, it should be. It looks like it might be in the OCD spectrum or something.
I often find myself saying, “if that was my mom/grandpa/aunt/whatever, I’d just rent a couple of dumpsters and a handcart and spend a weekend emptying the damn place out whether they like it or not” (I say this especially when the hoarder has kids or is living in someone else’s property), but it wouldn’t really do any good. Even when the show cleans up a house (and it often seems like they only manage to empty a single room), the hoarder will just fill it right back up again. The problem isn’t really being treated.
And maybe slapping the shit out of them wouldn’t help, but it wouldn’t hurt either. It’s worth a try.
Many have a very strong emotional attachment to the objects. If you do not share it, you don’t understand it. My wife hoards, but I keep it down a long way. When I threw out her rusted out ,not used in 15 years bicycle she had a terrible time with it. But I was going to clean out the garage so the car would fit in. I tossed it on the street and she brought it back a couple times. But finally someone picked it up. When there is metal in the object, it wont last until garbage pickup.
I was determined the garage was going to get cleaned whether she liked it or not.
She had been working on a political campaign this year. When she is gone, I dump stuff. it is far better now.
that lady had serious mental issues, and her daughter attacking her and being a total bitch wasn’t helping during the cleanup. if i had a family member living that way i wouldn’t be harassing them to clean, i would be petitioning the state to commit him or her to a mental facility. i lol’d when the son said people wouldn’t believe someone like him came from someone like her, because he looked like a big fat slob to me.
and SHE DID THANK THE GUYS FOR THE CHAIR. plus when she thanked her daughter, her daughter yelled at her. what a total bitch
I believe I’ve seen it described as such. It often seems to be triggered or accelerated by a traumatic loss (e.g., death of a loved one). And it seems really unresponsive to treatment.
I did get a laugh from the one guy who asked Adella what good the rusty rake head was, and when she said people buy those in antique shops to hang on their kitchen walls, he went and hung it in the kitchen. Not constructive, but nothing was going to work on that woman anyway.
However, I do think her daughters should have been asked to leave. Everyone was screaming, no one was cleaning.
I watched part of that marathon and it actually made me very angry at my girlfriend and her family.
My GFs family’s house is a classic “hoarder” house. Not as bad as the show, but pretty fucking bad. You have the classic symptoms:
[ul]
[li]Items purchased in bulk strewn about the living room[/li][li]Stacks of magazines and old newspapers[/li][li]Piles of clothes that go back decades[/li][li]Assorted junk and knickknacks[/li][li]Bedrooms being used for storage[/li][li]Weird fleamarket purchases[/li][li]General sense of stuff not having a designated place[/li][/ul]
Our tiny appartment is starting to look the same way. The GF buys shit in bulk every time she goes home. Newspaper clippings and receipts covering everything. Just basically shit and clutter everywhere.
And I see the same reactions when I try to get her to clean it. Basically becomming very defensive and hostile.
I can see that. It looks to be part of that degenerative depressive spiral that some people get into. They stop giving a shit (possibly due to some traumatic loss), let themselves go, nobody wants to be with them because they are such a mess, they figure they never see anyone anyway so why get their shit together and next thing you know they are old, a hundred pounds overweight and surrounded by a dumpster full of crap.
It was. We found out that the reason he spent so much of his time in our restaurant was because of the condition his apartment was in. He still comes by several times a week, but doesn’t stay nearly as long.
I used to have to go into houses like this at an old job. I’ll never forget the old woman who was hoarding food that her church would bring over. It was all canned food and non-perishables, and looked like the ultimate zombie bunker. Turned out she was also hoarding social security numbers and received checks under several different names and numbers.
I’ve heard of the show, but had never watched it. I’ve dealt with some animal hoarding as a humane investigator, but nothing really large-scale.
I just watched a few episodes, and wow. The one that really got me was the family of 4 adults who just would not engage in any kind of therapeutic conversation. And the condition of the house made me want to vomit. I really, really want to know where they were bathing and eliminating. No surprise the house was condemned. I’m bothered that they got any of the cats back. Just - wow.
I don’t know about the DSM, but in Spain it’s considered reason enough for a judge to declare a person non compos mentis (i.e., unable to care for him/herself, therefore under the care of the government). Curious that it’s you asking about it, given the name it receives on elderly people.
