I don’t normally write in the Pit, but I have dealt this morning with more moon-landing was a hoax, Palestinians dancing was a hoax, and now find a topic claiming Anne Frank was a hoax (on the grounds that someone later added a marginal comment in ball point pen which wasn’t available to Anne herself.)
The time has come to reveal all.
John Hancock never signed the Declaration of Independence. John Hancock was an insurance company, founded in 1943, and they thought it would be a cute advertising gimmick to pretend that a “John Hancock” signed the Declaration of Independence. THey destroyed all existing copies and replaced them with fakes. The proof of this is that the letter “J” did not split off as independent from the letter “I” until 1837, so there could not have been any “John” in 1776.
There is no such city as Albuquerque. It’s all a massive set, built outside Tucson. There was a nuclear accident in 1943, when they were first testing the power of potential nuclear weapons, that totally obliterated Albuquerque. The shock and horror were too much for the public to bear, so they created a fake Albuquerque out of cardboard, using all the techniques of Hollywood. Planes that supposedly fly to Albuquerque are all part of this gigantic hoax. The proof: I have a photo of a man standing on the streets of Albuquerque in broad daylight at high noon on a sunny day but he casts no shadow – the fake “sun” wasn’t working that day.
You do not exist. Your entire world is fake, and has been since you were born. It’s all part of a massive TV show, everyone in the world is watching you like a soap opera though hidden cameras. The people you think are your friends and colleagues are only paid actors.
[rant]Great stars and little comets! What have we turned into, that everything in the world is considered a “hoax”? From the Moon Landing to the Kennedy Assassination to Elvis’ Death and now Anne Frank? Is it only a matter of time before someone suggests that there never was a World Trade Center, it was all a hoax to push up Bush’s ratings?
It started with the so-called Holocaust-deniers. And it’s been flamed by movies such as “WAG THE DOG” and “THE TRUMAN SHOW” and “THE MATRIX.”
How stupid are people, anyway?
… obvious gullible enough to swallow all these “hoax” theories. All you people who believe any of this revisionist crap, please email me, I own a bridge in Brooklyn that I can sell you real cheap because the market is down and I need the cash.
I hear C K Dexter Haven is actually a puppet of a wealthy oil family in the Middle East, working in concert with our government to bring about an expensive and lengthy war.
Dolly Madison was really just a dairy magnate who founded her own ice cream company.
Toad The Wet Sprocket is in reality a garage band led by G. Gordon Liddy.
jarbabyj isn’t jarbabyj. She is in fact Georgia O’Keefe, famous artist*****. This does a lot to explain why almost everything “Georgia” (read:jarbabyj) painted revolved around the female genitalia. Small wonder that she’s known around the Chicago Theatre circuit as the Vicar of Vulva
Sean Connery, Dick Clark and Ross Perot were in fact bred in the same petri dish. They never age, and their DNA is in fact not a double helix, but more of a triple salchow.
The Catcher In The Rye has nothing to do with repressed sexuality OR jewish culture. It’s just a simple tale of a family of bakers who produce the greatest living catcher ever to play in the majors, ** Johnny Benchweisner ** ;j
I lied. It probably started with Plato’s Cave analogy. And Horace wrote some poetry about the non-existence of the material world. And old wossname Descartes doubted that anything existed. I guess if a serious philospher like Descartes can doubt the existence of everything, then it’s OK for people to doubt the reality of stuff like the moon, the earth, Herbert Hoover, Las Vegas, or Elvis.
Of course, there are people who put Descartes before Horace.
What Dex is too kindly to mention here is that it’s less of a soap opera than a slapstick comedy. We’re all laughing our asses off at you.
Really, you should see yourself when you’re sleeping! Whatta hoot!
– Ukulele “Hey, come in the teevee room, I think s/he’s gonna masturbate again!” Ike
No, no, no - “John Hancock” was one of the aliases of the notorious and immortal St. Germain, who has sired innumerable famous children over the centuries. One of the latest of these children decided to take up his daddy’s old alias as a nod to the past, while spilling the secrets of the ancient world to the modern public. However, he wanted a slightly different name that was better suited to the erudite image he wanted to project, so he changed his first name to “Graham.”
insufficient education + post-modern philosophy (“everyone’s opinion is equally valid”) = gullible people
[sub]Sorry, I’m feeling a bit grumpy today. [/sub]
Dex, your feeble attempts to manufacture myths in order to discredit those who proclaim the truth do not sway me. I am on to you. I know that you are only covering for the lies of the Templar/Rosicrucian alliance. You, sir, are just a puppet for the elders of Zion. THE ILLUMINATTI WILL BE EXPOSED!
[Steve Martin bit] You don’t remember when the Earth blew up? And it was totally destroyed? And we all came to this planet on the giant space ark? And the government didn’t tell the stupid people because they didn’t want to… Ahhhhh.[/Steve Martin bit]
