I seem to be infested with the dreaded and much feared Hobo Spider (spiderus horriblus). After reading many articles about them written by actual experts, and not just things from my inbox and the ten o’clock “news”, they’re not as bad as I first thought.
This doesn’t mean it’s not fricken scary to see one run across your carpet while watching TV and enjoying a beverage of a refreshing nature.
I live in black widow country.
A flamethrower is highly recommended.
That’s awfully nice of you to give a spider a beverage and let it watch TV.
Where does it stow its bindle? 
Black widows in my area, too. But they don’t run around scaring the pee out of you.
Ok, I have been doing some research since the other night, when I saw the HUGEST SPIDER EVER come out of my bedroom and I went full-on freak-out mode.
Apparently, no spiders live in Antarctica. I can swing by and pick you up on my way there. Let me know.
We have a spider that builds a web every night from the corner of the front porch to the nearest tree branch. And every morning when I go out to get the paper, I walk right through it. Ugh!
Ugh not learn very fast. Ugh make tribe laugh good though.
I’ve got Black Widows and these fuckers running around! They are about the size of an Eisenhower silver dollar. wolf spider - Bing images
I hates em. I kills em.
Sounds like a solid plan.