I’m weird – I like the “original” Christmas songs like “Step Into Christmas” and “Last Christmas” and “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” and, of course, Run DMC’s sublime “Christmas in Hollis” (It’s Christmastime in Hollis Queens, mom’s making chicken and collard greens!) I think “Christmas Wrapping” is cute, especially the bit about making the dinner, realising there is no cranberry sauce (“Damn, that’s what I forgot!”) and trying to find a 24 hour grocery store. That’s just funny stuff.
I like good covers songs done by good artists/bands, too, I’m thinking particularly of “Christmas, Baby (Please Come Home)” by U2 or Jon Bon Jovi’s “Please Come Home for Christmas.” Bing & Bowie – yes, between the 20 - 25th. I can even tolerate Hall & Oates version of “Jingle Bell Rock” about three times per season.
But there are songs that just grate. The aforementioned novelty songs have got to go. My uncle, always something of a comic, was singing his version of “Walking 'Round in Women’s Underwear” in the early seventies. It isn’t an original idea, let alone an original song. Poor, run over grandma needs to be put out to rest. And any song by any female trying to be cutesy (Santa Baby, All I Want for Christmas, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa) needs to be permanently destroyed. Destiny’s Child doing anything is just wrong. Same with Whitney Houston. The “I can turn three notes into twelve” thing ruins Christmas songs.
But the horror of Christmas horrors, without doubt, the one song that will make me leave a room, leave a store, change the radio station, and use very impolite words is Stevie Nicks’ version of “Silent Night” in which she changed the words because she didn’t want to sing it as written with the proclaimation “Christ the Savior is born.” I don’t care who you are Stevie. If you don’t believe it, then just sing another damned song. There are a plethora of secular Christmas songs that you could have chosen, but you don’t get to re-write a classic to suit your whims, okay?