I’m another one who finds Conan O’Brien so unfunny that I am constantly amazed he is still on the air.
I find David Sedaris is a writer who must be listened to, since many of his jokes are made funny by his inflections and pauses. While I read and enjoy his books, I have to hear his voice in my head while I do. And he’s one of those people who’s back-story you really need to know to appreciate some of the humor.
His sister is just…horrible. And her book was worse.
I like most of Sedaris’ stuff, but when he is off, he is really off. Me Talk Pretty One Day is divine, though. I really can’t stand his stuff re The Rooster, though.
Sarah Silverman–she needs to settle down, get married and have kids. Seriously. She has no future in comedy–I don’t see how she has a present. She is clearly a woman angry at Daddy and must shock her parents at all times. I put her emotional maturity at about age 13.
Adam Sandler should be put away–he is just not funny.
Cable guy and all his redneck pals–they are sad, sad ripoffs of Hee Haw, with none of the good music.
Carlos Mencia–he’s just stupid. Hey, look at me, I like to make fun of Mexicans and the whites who make fun of them. Hahahahahah. But all I do is look like a stupid Mexican that whites like to make fun of… IOW, your satire needs adjusting.
Pauly Shore will end up selling DVDs of his latest workout or else as a commentator on the home shopping network, if he isn’t already.
Will Ferrell may someday make a funny movie, but not so far. In fact, I will not go see a film if he’s in it.
Carrot Top needs medication or maybe just a wet trout to the head. Ugh.
I like Seinfeld–in small doses (but his show was brilliant). Frankly, no one is ever as funny as Bob Hope, but I’m showing my age. Some Robin Williams is ok. Steve Martin is a better actor than a stand up comedian (and a better writer than either).
IMO, stand up has had its day. Very very few comedians are funny in this format anymore. The exception might be Eddie Izzard, but he does a lot of social commentary in his act (or did–I couldn’t afford to go to his show last year).
I agree. Plus those other two “Blue collar comedy” guys.
I second Sasha Cohen. He is worse than any of the Will Ferrel, Adam Sandler, etc. crowd.
Valete,
Vox Imperatoris
ETA: Larry the Cable guy beforehe took on that identity.
Yes. He also is credited with having coined the phrase “the [blank] from hell.” I think that’s pretty cool.
I don’t even know where to begin with Dane Cook. What a douchebag. Has anyone ever seen the bit where he talks about crying? He’s like, “Ya know how sometimes you just have to go home and cry…” I don’t, Dane; in fact, I’ve never gone home to cry once in my life. What’s funny, to me, anyway, about comedians like Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock is that they describe real life emotions, things that I can relate to. With Dane Cook I’m left scratching my head about what the hell he’s talking about.
Norm MacDonald. Painfully, painfully unfunny, and gives an arrogant air of “Fuck you! I’m funny and you are too obtuse to get it!”
No, you just suck.
I agree with Kyla and kittenblue. My first exposure to David Sedaris was trying to read Naked, and I was underwhelmed. It was when I listened to the audio versions of his books that I saw what all the fuss was about. I still don’t like all of his stuff, nor do I find it all funny, but some of it is mildly amusing and some is frickin’ hilarious. “Six to Eight Black Men” (from Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim), for example, is as good as any stand-up comedy routine.
Okay, here’s mine: I know I’m committing comedy heresy, but: Richard Pryor. Maybe the stuff I’ve seen/heard by him hasn’t been his best, or maybe my life experience is just so different from his that I don’t relate to where he’s coming from, but he just doesn’t do much for me.
Kathy Griffith. Seems like 90% of her routine is menstrual jokes, or the like.
She’s awful, but I don’t know anyone who really likes her.
I’ll echo:
Carlos Mencia - Yeah he steals jokes, but the worst part is, he has a worse delivery than the comedians he stole them from (the best example is the Bill Cosby Joke he stole, it’s on youtube).
I’ll add (I think):
Chevy Chase - his humour just doesn’t hit my funny bone.
The Zero Punctuation guy is an Australian who does merciless reviews of video games. His most proeminent shtick is that hespeaksveryfastandisprobablyanalienwhodoesn’tneedtobreathe.
I love his stuff myself, but hey, different strokes and all that.
My votes go to David Cross and Margaret Cho. And while I may be branded as a heretic for saying so : George Carlin’s later stuff was unfunny angry old man crap.
You don’t get it? It’s comic genius! Well… it’s comic genius if you love jokes about fat Korean sluts (*I’m *not calling her that… she calls herself that–it’s the subject of all of her “jokes”)
So… that’s one unfunny comedian… let’s look at what else we have to choose from. Let’s see… there’s the black guy whose whole routine is based on being black, there’s the woman whose entire act is about being a woman, there’s the fat guy who only knows jokes (unfunny and unoriginal jokes) about fat people, then there’s the Jew who can only joke about Jews… OH! also the disabled guy who only talks about people with handicaps, and the gay man/women who bores us with tired gay jokes and nothing else. And lest you think I’m prejudiced (and I am, but only against unfunny comics) there’s allllll those straight, skinny, white guys who somehow believe it’s funny to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about dicks, shit, piss, fuck— you know… like third grade?
Who did I miss? Oh yeah. Bill Hicks and about five other comics.
Comedy isn’t funny.
Yahtzee’s British but lives in Australia, FWIW. I’m also a big fan of his stuff and find it extremely funny, but I think you really have to appreciate the British/Commonwealth sense of humour to get the most out of it.
I’ve never really found Ray Romano all that funny. I got more laughs out of Brad Garrett (who played his brother Robert on the show).
Most Australian stand-up comedians aren’t all that funny, IMHO.
I never laugh at Monty Python. Holy Grail was funny at first, but it is so over-quoted and over-referenced that it’s lost its charm. I get why people think MP is funny. Hell, my sister’s love MP and own the entire series. I dread when BBC America does a MP marathon because it is just so very, very tedious but they love it so much. Even the 10-15% that is hilarious, I find so very, very tedious. And I don’t understand why! All of the work they did individually, post-MP? I love it! I love British humor, in general. So I don’t know.
I feel like I should defend Amy Sedaris. Jeri Blank (on Strangers with Candy) is supposed to be strange and off-putting. She’s supposed to be unattractive and ugly. I mean, Jeri is an alcoholic, addicted to amphetamines, main line narcotics, heroin, and gambling. She spent years in jail. I think Amy’s performance as a drug-addled, 40+ year old woman with no moral compass, no empathy, and no idea how to operate in polite society was pretty impressive! I’m not saying you should necessarily find that sort of thing funny, but sometimes criticism of that show makes it sound like Amy was too successful in what she was trying to do.
Of course, admitting my dislike of Monty Python and my great love for Strangers with Candy probably reveals me for the plebe I am…
Jack Black. Just doesn’t work for me. At all. Not the tiniest little bit.
The concepts in his films are funny, but he just doesn’t pull them off to make the delivery funny.
Take a look at the movie The Holiday. Corker of a concept, as romcoms go. Co-stars Kate Winslett, Jude Law, Cameron Diaz. Even got Eli Wallach. What could possibly go wrong? A: Jack Black. As a comedy romantic lead, he was hopelessly miscast and killed the movie stone dead.
Who’s that chubby gay British guy that everyone around here loves and quotes unfunny lines from all the time? I forget his name, but I can’t stand that dude.
I think you mean Eddie Izzard. He’s not gay, he’s a transvestite.
Yeah, that’s the guy. Or, uh, girl?
e: oh, wait. Transvestite just dresses like the opposite sex, but doesn’t identify as such. Is that right? I have a really, really hard time believing that a ridiculously effeminate guy who dresses like a girl is heterosexual, but whatever.
David Letterman. 99.9% of the times I’ve ever seen him I’ve just found him completely repellent and wondered why anyone would deliberately attempt to watch his show. (I can’t recall ever finding him funny, but I’ll allow a 0.1% margin of error there. 
)
Also, I’ve never seen anyone embody the concept of ‘lickspittle’ so thoroughly as his little musical flunky. Assuming he still has the guy around; I haven’t watched much TV in the last few years, so that much may have changed.
Most transvestites fancy girls.
Tom Tomorrow. Oh, you hate Republicans. Ha, ha. My sides are splitting.
Sam Kinison. His act seemed to consist solely of screaming and cursing like a longshoreman. This is funny exactly why?
Any other “comedian” who mistakes “having a potty mouth” for being funny.