I wasn’t sure where to put this thread. I was looking for imput, on Home-Schooling.
When I heard of these stories from the media, they were emphasing that the children were Home-Schooled.
I should have ranted on the Media, I didn’t mean any disrespect to anyone.
Wow, thanks for all of the info.
I’m a shy person by nature and it takes me awhile to “warm up” to people, that’s why I asked. If I wasn’t around the same kids day in and day out in high school, I probably wouldn’t have made any friends at all. Sounds like parents who home school take this into account though, and that’s great. I moved to this area a couple of years ago and still only have a couple of friends, just now I’m “forcing” myself to go to social situations by myself, where I don’t know anyone, in the hopes of making some friends and I’m 25. I was just wondering what that would be like for a teenager.
I’m glad there are homeschooling networks out there, I’d never even thought of that.
I’m not solidly for or against homeschooling but ever noticed that any time there’s a national spelling or geography bee, the homeschooled kids end up kicking everyone else’s ass?
Oh, I’ve got no doubts that homeschooled kids probably get a better education (less opprotunity to goof off when you’re the only student in the room) my main question/concern was with the social implications.
I suspect the social implications are probably pretty good, in that parents (and, as Mtgman mentioned, older kids) play a more substantial role in the homeschooled child’s social development. Just because we’ve grown up in an era where we spent most of our day with thirty other kids the same age, and one adult in the room, doesn’t mean that’s exactly natural.
I’d have to say that my kids (ages 12 and 16) see themselves at an advantage socially. They have friends who are younger than them, older than them, and the same age. But (and this is crucial to their happiness), they don’t have to socialize with the kids who harrassed them when they were in public school. My kids were never the “miss popularity” type, but neither were they the type to fight, and they got a lot of flak for it in public school. They don’t have to deal with that now.
That may be… but it’s also because he/she is the only student, and thus the parents and family can spent the whole day if needed learning how to spell words or geography trivia questions. Not that they don’t learn other subjects, but probably the other subjects don’t get as much attention, at least while they’re preparing to compete.
This is probably a very valid observation. The public school side of this coin would be all the stuff that gets pushed aside during preparation for standardized testing. Here in Maryland, we have MSPAP testing in 3rd, 5th, and 7th grade. The first half of the school year for those grades is spent doing little more than teaching the kids how to perform well on those tests. It was one of the things that I was unhappy with public school about.
That may be… but it’s also because he/she is the only student, and thus the parents and family can spent the whole day if needed learning how to spell words or geography trivia questions.
Very true. I believe this can be a plus, though.
The pace of public school classes are set by the slowest kids. I’m sure all of us can remember, in at least one subject in school, sitting there going “would you fucking MOVE ON ALREADY!!!” wishing the teacher would quit saying the same thing over and over and over because little Johnny couldn’t grasp whatever concept was being taught.
With homeschooling the pace is set by your kids, so there’s nobody holding them back. If they’re bright enough for, say, 7th grade science when they’re in oh, the 4th grade, you can breeze right on through and challenge them.
I’ve never been really into the idea of home-schooling for a lot of reasons. One, of course, being that the home-schooled child can be isolated from it’s peer group. I noted someone said that home-schooled children don’t have to deal with the pressures of public school (being picked on, cliques, etc). I think that’s important, though, in developing social skills–learning how to deal with the asshats of the world is just as important as building self-esteem and the like. High school wasn’t particularly rough for me, but I know several people who thought it was sheer hell.
What do you guys think? Is dealing with the clique-driven society of high school, the taunting, the measuring up to other’s standards, what have you, an important part of growing up and forming social skills and grace? I think it is.
I’m really interested to hear what you think.
I think it isn’t. I have no idea why in a certain stage of a person’s life it is thought to build character and self esteem by having a random peer group harass them. Why would being told you’re ::insert epithet:: build self esteem and form social skills and grace?
Cliques still happen in homeschooling groups. Kids still get picked on. There’s still stress and learning opportunities when a kid is homeschooled. But the relentless, endless, constant bullying and harassment doesn’t happen. I don’t think that my kid has fewer social skills and less grace because he doesn’t have to deal with it on a daily basis. Because he’s at home, he’s successful and building a sense of self-worth which is not under daily assault. When he moves out into the wider world, he’s going to have a firm sense of self. When he attended school, he was a wildly unhappy kid who acted out in ways which led to further unhappiness. Years and years of that would not lead to a successful person – it would lead to a profoundly dysfunctional person.
Homeschooled kids don’t live in bubbles. Even though I said the social stuff bothers me, my kid still has interaction with other children. He can resolve conflicts and deal with other children well. He’ll never be a social butterfly and as an adult I expect he will not be someone who works well in groups but that was never gonna be on the agenda and years of systematised misery won’t change that.
Hmmm. Good point.
But no, IMHO.
I was tortured in high school and it didn’t do me a damn bit of good to deal with it. I’m 7 years out of high school now and the mention of certain people’s names can send me back to my teen years and I can remember vividly certain things that were done/said to me, things that school boards get sued over nowadays. It didn’t teach me how to deal with people, all it did was drive home to me the idea that I was inferior and that I deserved to be treated like shit. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to let go and start realizing that they were wrong, ya know?
I thank God every day that I don’t live there anymore. Seriously.
Had I been homeschooled, the only things I would have “missed out” on were things that nobody should have to deal with.
I see what you’re getting at, Primaflora. What about this though? (And please feel free to correct my assumptions if they’re wrong–I wasn’t homeschooled, so I may be way off base.) When a child is homeschooled, the peer group they are surrounded by are the friends they choose (or their siblings), I would think. Therefore, they aren’t put into situations with people they may not like/may not like them/what have you–are they? Again, I’m probably off base. I don’t know a lot about it.
I think being in mixed social situations helps, even if the interaction isn’t always positive. After all, when the child grows up and moves into the work force, they’re going to be forced to deal with folks they may not like, or who may not like them. Doesn’t dealing with this in high school at least help them (even if just a bit) learn to deal with? And doesn’t it help set the foundation for learning to stand up for yourself and what you believe in? I’ve always thought that what you (collective) believe and who you believe you are isn’t firm until it’s tested, to a reasonable degree, of course. I’m not talking about being bullied and harassed and threatened nonstop–not at all. You say homeschooled children don’t exist in bubbles–but don’t they, in a way? I understand that they most likely (hopefully) participate in extracurricular activities and such, but I would think even those would put them into a social setting in which they are happy at best, comfortable at the least.
YMMV on all of this, of course. And like I said, I completely acknowledge that I’m woefully in the dark about home schooling. I appreciate your input greatly.
Your average homeschooled kid is in class about what? Four hours a day?
Lots of them are involved in all sorts of stuff: martial arts, dance, church stuff, etc., etc. Plenty of time to bump into people who don’t like them.
In response to SnoopyFan–that sucks. I’m sorry your experience was so shitty.
I graduated five years ago, and this was my experience in a nutshell. This is a little complicated, so I’ll try to explain. I grew up on the city limits of a very urban, stereotypical inner-city ghetto. This is where I spent most of my time, with friends, working part-time jobs, etc. However, because of zoning rules, I went to school in the very wealthy neighboring county. When I say wealthy, I mean everyone had a new Mustang, folks had stables full of personal horses, they knew what college they’d be attending when they were in seventh grade. That sort of wealthy. I, OTOH, grew up one of six children, in a run-down shotgun house with no electricity or running water half, if not three-fourths, of the year. My clothes came from Wal*Mart on a good day, Goodwill on a bad one. I rode the bus to school until I graduated. (Man, this would make a great country song.)
With all that said–I didn’t suffer greatly in high school. (Not only was I poor, I was a lesbian to boot! Ha!) Sure, there were times when I was sneered at, there were activities I couldn’t partake in because of my lack of finances and/or status. OTOH, I got an excellent education, made a small circle of very good friends (mostly the other queer students/immigrants/just plain outcasts), and for the most part, got by fine. I think it taught me how to deal with people on many levels. I got the foundation of a lesson I’m still learning (don’t judge the upper-class because of their monetary wealth–it’s just as unfair as the opposite), when good luck falls in your lap–grasp it (an excellent primary education is nothing to sneeze at), there are going to be people who immediately judge you for your socioeconomic status/sexuality/race (these folks aren’t worth knowing anyway, and karma is a bitch), and I could go on forever. I think I would have missed a lot of that if I hadn’t had to make my own way in a somewhat alien landscape.
Again, my personal experience. By no means is it the only valid one.
Which I’ve always considered a bit odd, seeing as how (where I was from anyway) school started at 8 AM and let out at 3:45 PM.
Well, when you’re only teaching one kid as opposed to 30, you can get more done in less time
You don’t have to go to school to get immediately judged by other people. You don’t have to be tormented in high school to learn to stand up for yourself. Even if I had been homeschooled, I would still have had to deal with the people at my church who made me feel like an outsider because I didn’t attend as many services as they did, or some of my relatives who always had things about my personality to comment on, or the people I saw around town who judged me based on my appearance. There are a lot of jerks to go around, really.
And I think that cutting out as much pain as possible from your life is a good thing. I think it would have been easier to learn to have confidence in myself if I hadn’t constantly been put-down on a daily basis.
Holy crap, I feel stupid! Thanks, SnoopyFan. Why I didn’t draw that very-logical conclusion, I don’t know.
A point that even I cannot argue with.
We spend about 2 hours a day on school type work. If you break down an average school day, there’s a hell of a lot of shuffling between classes and social stuff which is not actual learning. Homeschooling can be very focused. I’ve just started doing grade one maths with my 5 yo. We’ve done 10 minutes a day for the last month and we’ve done 1/4 of the year’s curriculum. OK we skipped the colouring because neither of us felt the need to colour in stuff but we did everything else.
With the social stuff, Queer Geek Girl, I see what you are saying but I feel there’s enough social challenges in my older son’s life for him to learn to function. School was extreme for him though and maybe you have more of a point if there’s a kid who is getting something, anything positive from school. But we’ve been to homeschooling events which rivalled Lord of the Flies and the parents paid no attention whatsoever to what was happening (too busy stuffing the anti-abortion pamphlets into envelopes).
My younger son is probably going to school next year as he wants to and he’s a social bunny unlike his older brother. His older brother will return to school for high school as it’s beyond me to figure out to do physics and chemistry at home at a high school level. By that time, I would hope that he has enough self esteem and strength to deal with whatever comes his way at school. He certainly was not developing those during his last episode at school.