How are you going to act like a jackass to me when you’re the one eating a bowl of cereal while driving? The reason I honked at you the first time is because you were too busy gobbling up your Fruit Loops to see the light turned green. And yeah, that’s the same reason I honked again at the second light. Still, you’re the one eating the cereal. Don’t get all indignant with me about it and drive extra slow.
So it’s true, I did honk the third time because I knew you wouldn’t be expecting it and it would scare you while you were trying to slurp up some fruity-flavored milk.
WHO EATS CEREAL WHILE DRIVING?!?
Admittedly, I did not expect you to spill it. That was some sort of cosmic bonus. Lady, you deserve it. Eating cereal while driving is not safe. Later today you’ll smell like stank. You are a poor decision maker.
And I laughed until I cried.
Best part, is we’re next to each other the next red light by this point and she’s gone all Grapenuts on me. She’s got her window down, calling me “Silly Rabbit” or something similar and how I need to pull over so she can kick my Lucky Charms.
Bring it milk maid. I’m not scared of you or your little army of tiny marshmallows. I hope you got to eat enough of your Wheaties to back up the the Honey Smacks you’re talking right now.
As an aside, I thought of that Honey Smacks frog talking shit while the lady was fussing and it only made me laugh harder. Why a frog anyway? Nothing about amphibians make me think yummy breakfast.
This woman is so mad and she did it all to herself. Don’t eat cereal in the car. That’s just stupid. But I waved and thanked her as I drove away. It’s true, breakfast is a good start to the morning.
Okay, I’ll be the knucklehead that spoils all the pun you’re having, but after my accident a few months ago (NOT my fault!), I talked to the guy driving the tow truck as he brought me to the place where my car was being dropped off. For some reason we got to complaining about both our jobs (it probably started with a lighthearted, “Hey, at least I get to extend my lunchbreak from the office for a couple extra hours today!”) but ended with us just… complaining about our jobs.
Now, obviously my sales position leaves me with some complaints, but I had nothing on that dude. He told me his “worst towing job”, and left me feeling horrible. He’d gone to a car that was just destroyed, from the front end back. It had plowed into somebody at a red light. What was the worst thing about it? The entire front half of the car was covered with milk and Lucky Charms. It was the driver eating it, there was no one else in the car. He said she was a young woman, in her early 30’s, with a couple of small children she’d left behind.
I try to be extra careful when I’m driving… and I SURE wouldn’t be eating cereal in a car!
