How would they find out he’d sprayed seltzer on the bill?
OP it sounds like you are screwed and will probably do a few years in hospital jail. I did a stint once and it wasn’t so bad. Most of the other inmates are old or feeble so they are easy to run away from when they try to rape you.
Yeah, I had an ER visit right after I’d been hired full-time after a long-ish period of unemployment after graduate school. I had zilch in the bank.
So I called them up and said "I can’t pay $1200 outright right now, but I do have a decent paying job finally- what are my options? So the person said “How does $100 a month for the next year sound?” Easy as that.
So I paid an even $100 a month for a year, and was done. No interest, no finance charges, etc… I actually could have paid it off after about 2-3 months, but I just let the auto-pay do it’s thing and let my savings build up.