Ever host one of those parties where you invite your friends and they’re expected to purchase something? Jewelry, wine, sex toys, tupperware, etc.?
My good, good friend has recently started her own business where she sells wine and purses. She dove in headfirst and with much enthusiasm. And now she’s asking all of her friends to host parties. We provide the guests, and she takes us on a magical wine-tasting adventure.
I agreed to host a wine-tasting party, because I love my friend and I love wine and I love parties. My friend sent me a list of things I had to do, including:
- Purchase 6 bottles of wine from my friend. Total, with shipping, is $50.
- Purchase cheese and crackers and chocolate (to enhance the wine tasting). My friend gave me a recommended list of stuff to get, although she said I didn’t have to stick to the list. Estimated total, probably around $30.
- Invite 8-12 friends to the party. And then (in her words), “Sit back and relax!”
Now, my mom has a little jewely business where she often has people host a party, and she shows up with tons of jewelry, and everyone buys jewelry, and everyone is happy. The host arranges everything – buys drinks and food too, usually – and my mom gives the host an amazing piece of jewelry (or pieces) as a thank you (and she’ll often give the host discounts on any future jewelry orders).
But not in this case. Good friend says she can’t give me any wine, because that’s against some sort of liquor-license laws. But I can get a small discount on futre wine orders.
So…am I being royally screwed here? I totally am. I have to do ALL the work (including cleaning my house for a party!), and she gets to show us how to sip wine and eat cheese (that I bought). There’s no payback for me!
And I’m happy to do it. My friend has given me love and gifts and friendship worth much more than $80. But what bothers me is I can’t tell if my friend KNOWS that I’m not getting jack out of this whole deal. I think she thinks that people should be jumping at the chance to host these parties, when in reality, they’re not getting anything in return.
Part of me wants to talk about this with her – let her know I definitely want to host the party, but that I’m actually going to be spending a fair amount of money and time for the priviledge, and not really getting anything in return. I think she thinks she’s doing me a solid by giving me a good excuse to have a nice wine-tasting party, but in reality, I would never have such a party (or if I did, I wouldn’t expect my guests to shell out money for additional bottles of wine afterwards). FYI – all guests know and understand the reason for the party is for them to purchase wine afterwards.
So what say you, Dopers? Would you just suck it up as doing a nice, one-time favor for a friend?