Doc, Delores brine the bird and you won’t ever have to worry about it being dry.
But I’m skeered! 
I keep intending to do this, but I’m old school.
OK, I’m coming over to your house for turkey!
You have enough time, practice with a chicken this weekend. I brine almost all my poultry, and pork.
Really it isn’t hard, and yeah it is a tiny bit scary the first time, but trust me as a fellow doper, it is the best turkey you have ever eaten.
Maybe we can get NIC2004 to stop by and tell you about his experiences after I got him to brine some chicken.
Some free advice (and worth every penny):
Cook the potatoes the night before and mash them the next day. Same with the sweet potatoes; sweet potatoes are one of those things you can’t really overcook.
You are forgetting stuffing! I’d make a vegetarian stuffing - you can put all kinds of stuff in it like almonds, hazelnuts, cranberries or apples along with the more traditional ingredients. Don’t forget lots of sage (IMHO). You can prep most of the ingredients the day before.
Ok, ok…who am I to argue with a board full of dopers, and Alton Brown?
So if I pick up a frozen 18 lb bird tomorrow, do I have time to thaw it and brine it? How long does it take to brine? (I was gonna get one on Sunday, thaw it in the fridge, and cook the giblets on Wednesday.)
I guess I should go read that section on The Food Network again.
C’mon over! Just be aware the turkey is small.
I am here and I can tell you that Rick is the god of cooking any kind of bird. I am now able to cook and serve a chicken that has been placed in this brine, spachcocked and cooked on a gas grill and has amazed and brought praise from all who tried it.
I have not yet gone to the other thread on the preparation of a turkey but you can be certain it is my next stop.
I have to say for a first timer you seem to have things well in hand. Sounds like a better meal than my grandma usually came up with (that’s why I do all the holiday cooking now).
Tips: yeah do as much as possible the night before, like the mash. Consider a rutabaga (much underrated veg) mixed in with the potatoes. Much better than sweet potatoes.
If you’re putting your starch into the mash and not stuffing, put a half of lemon and an onion in the turkey.
Definatly have stuff for people to pick on beforehand. If you want to get carried away, pate is kind of nice. Makes ya look all classy ya know.
And I really think you should have stuff for people to drink even if you don’t drink yourself. It’s for the guests. Although on the other hand if you’re laying out a spead like that they can at least show up with their own booze. (Just let them know in advance)
Yes you can thaw an 18 pounder in time. Buy it ASAP and place it in cool water for several hours, then in the fridge. If it is still a little frozen when it goes into the brine, no worries, the brine will finish the thaw.
Alton says to brine for 6 hours, I go for `12-24. I also let my turkey dry in the fridge for 24 hours or so after removing from the brine. This helps the skin cook crisper, but is not necessary if you are in a time crunch.
For a first timer, do your brine sometime Wed afternoon, cool, and put the bird in for 12 hours that evening. Pull it out rinse it off with clear water. If you are not going to cook it within 2 hours, place it back in the fridge. If your turkey start time is within two hours leave it out. 20-30 minutes before placing in the oven, place a bag of ice on the breast to cool it off.
When ready to go into the oven, remove the ice bag, rub the bird with oil, and you can add a non-salty rub if you wish.
Cook according to AB’s directions.
If you are really feeling adventurous, and have a BBQ, I can tell you how to do it outside to keep the oven in the kitchen free.
Here is Alton Brown’s recipe
Here the other thread with my changes to AB’s recipe
Here is one from Emeril.
Wow, Rick, thanks. I guess I will try brining my turkey. I’m not sure how frozen it’ll be when I get it, but I don’t doubt I can thaw it. I don’t personally own a grill, but I have access to one (owned by the condo company). I don’t know if it’ll be in use or “off limits” for day of. And it’s not super close to the house and outside, so I don’t really think it’s a good option, as much as I’d love to have the ovens free.
Betenoir, thanks for the compliment! I do hope it’ll work out well. As for the alcohol, I have already let people know it’s BYOB. What I’ll have to depend on is that my co-hostess (she had the same idea, and we combined it at my place; she’s bringing some of the foods) lets her friends know. She and her husband know, and the only other student also doesn’t drink, so that’s what’s up. My co-hostess didn’t seem phased by the lack of alcohol. I can tell from going out with them on Halloween that she and her husband also don’t drink much.
Hopefully it will all go smoothly!
So, if I do make the potato-type things ahead of time, what’s the best way to reheat them so they as closely resemble freshly made as possible?
Thanks Rick! I commented in your other thread. (Sorry for hijacking this one, BK.)
Bah, there is no hijacking, Dolores, there is only ever increasing Thanksgiving yumminess!
Just remembered, make sure you use kosher salt not table salt for the brine.
I am making mashed potatos for the first time this year (usually my Thanksgivings take the prize for “entire meals that came from a box/can”), and I have a stupid question: How long will raw potatos keep? I did my Thanksgiving shopping this afternoon and bought 5 pounds of potatos, and not until I got home did it occur to me that they might not keep for the next four or five days. Will they be ok until Thursday morning?
I assume that the cooked potatos would be kept in the fridge overnight … wouldn’t they be really hard to mash the next day?
They’ll be fine. I bought my potatoes last Tuesday, with the intention of using them on Thanksgivng. I’m not sure exactly how long they last, but for awhile.
<phew> Thanks! 
They’re very hearty. You can just stick them in the mirowave and they’ll be as good as new. On the other hand you can carmeize some onoins, put them on the top and bake them till they’re brown on top. Or just do that with the potatoes. Stick them in with the turkey.
As long as they’re kept in a cool, dark place (i.e. not under the sink) they’ll be fine.