House of the Dead

Cafe Society
1

I’ve seen the trailer to this movie and it “looks” like it will be cool. I know what some of you will say…mindless violence…bad acting…something about riping off the matrix (don’t all movies nowadays?) I dont care, I like mindless violence every now and then. It has potential to be kick-ass I think, what are your thoughts?

And if you missed that trailer can be found here here

2

*mental note: Preview before posting next time. :slight_smile:

3

Every commercial I’ve seen for this has contained the same shot: a girl with a shotgun jumping straight up in the air and firing the gun, in Matrix-style slo-mo. And it looks really, really lame. Just seriously stupid. But they keep showing it, in every commercial or trailer, like it’s one of the coolest shots in the film. Which makes me wonder, what does the rest of the movie look like?

I think I can live with not knowing.

4

I plan to stand outside the theater and give all the idiots who actually see it a good flogging.

5

I saw that trailer today.

My ears popped, such was the suction.

6

This is loosely based on the arcade games, right? By “loosely” I mean that they had to buy the name and remove any resemblences of the original product (such as, apparently, a house).

Just from the commercial, let’s count the suck:

  1. Slo-mo panaramic shots. Back when Wing Commander did this, it was novel and cheesy. Now it’s just cheesy.
  2. Slo-mo panaramic shots with a guy firing a submachine gun one-handed, with no recoil.
  3. Slo-mo panaramic shots with someone jumping five feet straight up with a shotgun.
  4. Teen Party taking place on what seems to be a Montana militant faction’s gun range.
  5. Zombie sticking his tongue in someone’s ear.
  6. Rap-thumpin’ zombie soundtrack (that’s subjective, I know. You’re free to listen to whatever rocks your boat. But I’m less likely to want to see something if it blasts that at me in the ad)
  7. Talking zombies?! Zombies go “urgh” most of the time, “buh-rains” if they’re particularly chatty. Living dead making cheesy threats are laughable.

Why buy the rights to a franchise if you’re not going to do anything that remotely resembles it?

7

I visited the movie’s web page, and I must take back my joke about the house. Apparently there is one in the film.

How an centuries-old undead Spanish priest gets several SWAT teams’ worth of small arms on a mysterious “Isla del Muetre,” however, is a puzzle.