In accordance with the scientific principles of combatting ignorance laid down and exemplified by C. Adams and E. Zotti, the Provisional All-Forums Soviet of the Straight Dope Message Board has been established to carry on the struggle against imperialist ignorance in the name of the Toiling Millions.
Comrades! Under the leadership of L. Bodoni firm measures have been undertaken for the complete liquidation of the Running Dog pro-ignorance imperialist lackeys. Death to the enemies of the Revolution!
Comrades! Under the leadership of A. Winkelreid, the quotas for establishing links to the original columns from the CCCF, in accordance with the principles of correct scientific Adamsist-Zottiist thought, have been overfulfilled for the fifth straight month. Everyone must ceaselessly participate in the revolutionary struggle to establish correct links from the CCCF!
Comrades! Everyone must do their part to combat and defeat the forces of the Tylerite conspiracy to enslave the liberated Message Board on behalf of counter-circumcisionist imperialism. At the same time deviationism from the correct democratic centralist procedures of the Administrators and Moderators must not be permitted. Death to the Tylerite counter-circumcisionist conspiracy!
Long live the Revolution!