The best response I’ve found:
“Thank you for your best wishes in my future endeavors. In fact, focused on them as you must understand me to be, I do not have much to offer to your admirable commitment to solicit views on my work experience, with the goal of continuous improvement.”
What I’m advised not to say:
“Now you’re asking my opinion? I vaguely remember having those a long time ago, but I’ve wisely learned to let them die as stillbirths.”
What I really wish I could say:
“Jesus Christ, when Stalin had the entire Polish officer corps shot, at least he spared them all exit interviews!”
I survived long enough to leave on my own terms because I learned to keep my mouth shut. How do I continue that as I leave? What are the pitfalls of dodging, no matter how deftly?
As Miss Manners is fond of saying, you needn’t give any reason for declining an invitation. Giving reasons just invites people to try to overcome them.
I was told TPTB expected an exit interview AND a speech at my retirement party. I was sweating both of those. But the boss never got back to me, and didn’t come to my party.
I had “a few words” prepared for the party, but the venue they’d chosen had to be cancelled (as I told them it would be, as soon as everyone found out they had a No Alcohol policy).
The shindig got moved to a bar, and it was soon clear that no one was really in charge. So no one to tell me to say something.
It was too bad that I didn’t get to thank people publicly, but at least I didn’t have to… thank people publicly.
Gee, I got all kinds of cool gifts, like a silicon wafer signed by everyone, at my retirement party. I think I gave a short speech, but I don’t mind public speaking.
I don’t remember if I had an exit interview or not, but one for retirement is the easiest. “Why are you leaving?” “I’m old.”
I had the option of a retirement party or $750.00. No logical choice there. I took the money.
My reply to the exit interview was to decline as “my experiences and opinions were very personal to me.” I knew that would end up in their trash folder alongside anything else I would have provided with the exception of company accolades.
People are dropping like flies at my job. Most of them don’t even have anything else lined up; they just can’t take it. Another one gave notice this week, and when pressed, insisted it was a wonderful place to work and he just had some personal matters to focus on. Smart man. The folks who have told the truth about their burnout didn’t manage to change things.
I learned a long time ago the last thing corporate management wants is the truth. The only reason I work for a corporation is to extract money from it – period. Upon retirement, I happily gave an exit interview, telling them exactly what they wanted to hear. Unlikely, but I might need to work there again, and I never burn bridges.
I’ve been laid off in a situation like this. While thinking such thoughts, it’s still a nice idea to smile and just say “no thank you, don’t feel I can do that for you right now.”
Of course, nobody you say this to in HR will care, much less understand. But it might feel good to get it off your chest, especially if you cc: the C-level wankers.
And that’s the truth. I’ve been to meetings looking at the results of employee surveys. Anything negative was explained away, except for really trivial things HR could fix without rocking the boat. Specific negative things about someone’s job were “explained” away as grousing by troublemakers.
That’s when they solicit your input while you’re working there. Imagine how little they listen to you when you are leaving.
I accepted, and broke my usual rule about burning bridges (which is: don’t). Most of my feedback was carefully picked postive notes, but I did want to take the opportunity to say that I was leaving in part because I had lost faith that the management team were really capable of getting their shit together and acting rationally.
I don’t expect my response went very far, although I did have a decent working relationship with HR management, who I know shared some of my hopes and the same frustrations that made me move on, but mostly, I did it for me - to say my piece so I could leave it in the dust behind me.
I only remember having one actual exit interview. I looked forward to it, because I was leaving the company so what harm could there be? I sat with the company’s owner and gave him my honest opinion, My opinion wasn’t overly harsh so it wasn’t that big of a deal, but there were some negative things I had to say and it was refreshing that I could present them without consequences. The owner said he appreciated my opinions and it seemed like he actually meant it rather than it being a polite formality.
I’ve had a few times where I left a job and they wanted a short discussion as to why I was leaving, but I don’t consider that a real exit interview. The one time I had an exit interview there were a number of questions evaluating the company and how it was to be employed there. I expect they held that interview because they knew it was an opportunity to get my real opinion without fear of reprisal. I felt like it was mutually beneficial; I could get a couple of things off of my chest and they got some real honesty. I’m surprised I haven’t had more of those interviews, as I’ve held many different jobs over the decades.
I don’t think I would do an exit interview, what is there to be gained? I also wouldn’t write a bad one. For one, nothing would change. For two, it’s stupid to burn bridges unnecessarily.
The only time I ever gave an exit interview, I had actually liked my job and wanted to stay. I had to leave because I was moving out of state (my wife was transferred). My boss wanted to keep me on the team remotely, but upper management wouldn’t go for it.
So the “interview” was basically her and I chatting for an hour or so on my last day. I was honest, but really didn’t have a lot of negative things to say.
Fully agree, never burn any bridges. Take the high road, no matter how nasty that tastes. And never say never. Even though I never plan to return, I don’t know what the future holds.
While that is typically true, I’ve experienced some exceptions. And maybe that’s because the companies were smaller, less than 100 people. We in low level management really cared about the feedback and the people and we sincerely implemented actions to improve things.
And as for the exit interview, schedule it early in the morning. Once it’s done, just leave for the day.
I’ve done a few. I just insist on saying only nice things. “What would you change/improve?” I just say things like “Nothing comes to mind.” HR Drones don’t generally probe too much.
I did have one where the HR person clearly had an axe to grind against my boss. Kept asking pointed questions. I just said “It sounds like you want me to say negative things about Bob. I am not going to do that.” He looked indignant, but let it go. What was he going to do, write me up?
Hi, I’m your friendly neighborhood HR drone and I’ve conducted a few exit interviews. We stopped conducting exit interviews a few years ago and switched to an online questionnaire which is a good indication from management that our time was better spent doing something more productive. And they weren’t wrong. We never made exit interviews mandatory and few employees deigned to participate in the process. And when you’ve got a small self-selected group your survey results aren’t going to be representative. I don’t think I really ever got anything useful or earth shattering out of an exit interview. Though I have looked into a few things based on what was said at the exit interview.
I know you didn’t, but just how would one make an exit interview mandatory? Would the person refusing it be fired? Not be allowed to leave?
Sure, if you fired someone and were giving them money you could do it, but exit interviews then would not likely be too useful. When I left AT&T voluntarily with a big cash payout I don’t think I had an exit interview - but 1/3 of my center left, almost all voluntary, and there weren’t enough HR people to do them.
There’s a difference between one where you say a few things could be done better and one where you call all the management bleeding assholes. I doubt the first would be looked on very negatively, the second yes.