If anyone seems snarky, I would guess it’s because discussing this can be emotionally exhausting and a lot of people have already contributed to those threads extensively. While it certainly wasn’t your intent, to people who have lived with BPDs it can seem like, ‘‘Hey, remember all that pain and suffering you talked about last week? Talk about it again!’’
You will find MPSIMS and IMHO are both good forums for discussing mental health experiences of all stripes.
As a casual observer, I found Chimera’s post to be rather rude. The tone of the post seemed unduly curt. I think that was the issue, not whether he was correct.
I thought Chimera’s post was an intentional, and most excellent - well done! - illustration of the abrupt and ambiguous kind of response one might receive from a person with BPD: caring and helpful, yet vicious and cutting at the same time. And I was under the impression that the responses to that post were intentional illustrations of, by and large, the Paranoid PD, with a little Histrionic PD thown in here and there. The OP, of course, started it all off with a perfect - and intentional - illustration of the Dependent PD.
Please note that I am not trying to intimate that any one actually has those PDs, but just that the PDs are being illustrated by the posters for edifying purposes. Of course, if anyone does have one of those PDs, please note that I am in no way intending to invalidate that person’s mode of being, but congratulating said wingnut on his or her ability to sublimate thier condition towards the positive end of edifying the ignorant.
OK, now I will go back to licking my cat, who is actually a unicorn. (Schizoid Personality Disorder :D).
BPD is a good example of why it’s not a good idea for people with no experience (like me) to diagnose with the DSM IV. You read the diagnostic criteria and tell yourself, “I know a lot of people like that. Hell, I may be BPD.” But when you actually get to know someone with BPD, you’ll say, “Ohhhhh, NOW I know what they’re talking about.”
ETA: The fact that there have been several threads about BPD might be an indicator of the powerful feelings it evokes.
I realize I’m digging my hole deeper, but that’s Obsessive-compulsive [del]personality[/del] disorder, which yes, I have touch of. It’s much different from OCPD, which should be renamed Soup Nazi personality disorder. They both involve rules, but one does them because it makes them feel less anxious, while the other insists upon them in others.
[German accent]It seems to me zat you haf a bit of ze obsessive-compulsive personality yourself, with ze obsession in kompartmentalizing people, and perhaps a bit of ze narcissistic PD.[/German]
My next door neighbor had BPD-- Oh my-- this is one ride I never, ever want to take again. She disrupted our neighborhood very badly by pitting neighbors against one another, rolling through intense friendships and then becoming deeply hurt in a matter of minutes over trivial things. Her husband is a saint- the most patient man on earth. I learned that if ever, ever someone tells me they have “borderline personality disorder” it doesn’t mean they are “just a little off”-- they are deeply disturbed. What a misleading name.
BPD is correlated to child abuse/neglect and a fear of abandonment, so I can have sympathy for people who have it.
As far as cluster B personalities, I think people with NPD (narcissists) are never going to admit anything is wrong, sociopaths don’t care if anything is wrong and people with BPD may realize something is wrong, but they can’t make it better. Not sure what that has to do with anything, but that is my understanding as far as people getting help.
I’ve also read that over 10 years or so, something like 60%+ of people with BPD no longer fit the clinical definition. However that doesn’t mean they are cured, just that their symptoms are minor enough to be subclinical.
Borderline Personality Disorder got that name from the now discredited notion that its sufferers are on the borderline between neurosis (hysteria, anxiety, and similar disorders) and psychosis (characterized by delusions or hallucinations). The merely anxious may concoct outrageous theories about why, say, the landlord was brusque when they passed in the hall (“He hates me! I’m going to get evicted! My lock’s been malfunctioning - he probably broke it trying to get into my apartment!”), but BPD takes it to another level, fantasizing events that never happened (or distorting real events beyond all recognition) as additional evidence for the conspiracy theory du jour. Suddenly, a cheap lock and a landlord who really needs to pee become “I saw him coming out of my apartment! Help me search for bugs!”
It’s not all paranoid fantasies, either - the indifferent student who was a pain in the ass in high school remembers herself as brilliant and beautiful, and kept down by the envy of her inferiors. The Borderline Personality has a weak grasp on reality, but doesn’t let go completely.
Borderlines can be very high functioning, they can also do very well socially. They fail in interpersonnal relationships. One of the biggest identifying factors of a borderline is a weak sense of identity. They will very often assume the speech, the walk, the mannerisms of thier lates fixation. Sometimes they do this successfully and will reinvent themselves for an extended period of time. It is estimated that 50% of alcholics are borderline. You could work with a borderline for 20 years and never suspect a problem unless you became emotionally close to that person.
WHAAAAAAAT? Are you sure it isn’t “50% of borderline people have alcohol problems”? In other words, a question of comorbidity. Because a quick search suggests that 12% in the US have had alcohol dependence problems, while 1-2% meet borderline criteria. We can even use a high of 5.9% (which seems high). Either way the math doesn’t jibe.
Apparently the Sopranos character Gloria Trillo was a good example of a person with BPD, although I’m sure that there was plenty of artistic license involved in creating her character, and in a way that reflected the fact that she was, mind you, Tony Soprano’s mistress (their relationship ended when it seemed that she was trying to provoke Tony into killing her as a form of “assisted suicide” - this storyline would have been much less convincing if, say, Niles Crane from Frazier was dating a character with BPD). Based on my armchair knowledge of BPD from reading this, and a few earlier threads, this scene (caution, may not be appropriate for viewing in some workplaces) might have actually reflected some psychiatric savant side of Tony - he broke it off in a way that made it clear to her that initiating further contact would not pacify her fear of abandonment or indulge her penchant for drama.
I know an individual with BPD and he is extremely selfish. I do not know if he realizes he is selfish but trying to reason with him is about as hard as trying to move a tree stump, in other words, he won’t budge. I get the impression from this BPD man, that he feels no guilt about being selfish, and makes no apologies. All I can say is that I am glad that I am not married to him!