So, I am a 32 year old female living in Canada. I was dx’d with BPD in 2005, along with GAD, which I think is my predominate illness. Nonetheless, BPD plays a part in my life, my thinking and my emotional regulation.
The traits of my PD are either mild/non-existent, or pretty severe.
I don’t split, or engage in black-and-white thinking.
I don’t engage in self-destructive behaviours, such as cutting, although I once did long ago, but very briefly.
I am mildly impulsive. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean when I am very upset, but that’s about it.
I never act out violently, even when angry. I did one time, quite a while ago, punch a glass door and injured my hand pretty badly.
My mood swings are pretty severe. When I am sad, the sense of despair I feel is overwhelming. Ditto with anxiety and anger.
My number #1 symptom is a lack of sense of identity. Most of the time I don’t know who I am, where I am going in life. I know I want a decent job, a nice home, to be happy with my husband and children, but otherwise, it is pretty grey. I feel empty most of the time, like a huge void inside of me. I also feel defective quite often, like I am sub-human, or something to that effect. Sometimes I don’t even know if I am bisexual or heterosexual. Yes, it’s that bad.
That’s it for my background.
I feel there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding this illness, especially since it is so often confused with co-morbid illness like histrionic or narcissistic PD. It is not a trait of BPD to manipulate for personal gain (which a lot of people attribute falsely to BPD because BPD is often co-morbid with NPD or ASPD), however it is very much a trait to manipulate to get someone we feel is about to abandon us in an attempt to stay.
Ask away! But, as always, civility never hurt.