Cupcakes? CUPCAKES?!?!?!?!
What are you trying to do, make the kids obese?!?!?! If they eat a cupcake now at age 8, they’ll be downing them by the dozen when they’re adults! It’s child abuse, I say, just plain abuse!
As a teacher, I would never ask parents to bring treats for their kids. I have 11 kids in my homeroom, and I plan to make them each the treat of their choice on their birthdays. That way, the kid gets something and the parents don’t have to worry about it. I can afford it, I guess, and it makes the kids feel special.
I second JohnBckWLD’s offer. I will paypal you whatever money you feel you need to get your kid some birthday treats. My e-mail address is in my profile and it would be my pleasure.
I’m a teacher.
Personally, I’d prefer it if kids didn’t bring sugar in, but, the kids like it, and they aren’t econimically disadvantaged.
I can’t speak for your child’s school, but probably only 25% of my students bring anything in. I’m guessing no one would notice if your child didn’t bring anything in.
Also, as for being a bad parent: it’s not so much what you do, but why and how. OK, running a child porn ring probably wouldn’t be a good idea, but you know what I mean 
I’m a parent and a teacher too. I never, ever sent anything into school with my boys. It just never occurred to me that it was an expectation. They got a birthday party every other year, and we had cake and ice cream at home on alternate years. This wasn’t decades ago, it was just a few years ago.
And at the schools in my district, we’ve put an end to the everlasting birthday party arms race at the same time we’ve taken a hard look at the nutrition issues. There is now only one party allowed in each class room each month. That means Halloween (or, as the fundies prefer, the Fall Celebration), Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving—the works. All kids birthdays that month are celebrated with parents kicking in to provide snacks for everyone. Voila (I can’t do that fancy accent mark…). No kid outshines another because of the quality of their goodie bags, no one’s birthday gets ignored because mom is just too dim to send stuff in (like me), and valuable instructional time isn’t wasted feeding kids stuff that isn’t good for them and that they get too much of anyway.
It worked for me. It’s working for our schools. Maybe you should get on the PTA or school board and work from the inside to change things.
Just to be different, you could buy the giant bag of baby carrots for $1.99 and put them in the little “snack-size” ziploc bags.
But then her kid would get beat up.
Might could that there’s a reason other than the specific case of the OP, which is due not to sloth but financial straits - she wants to do something, or she wouldn’t have posted here. This doesn’t seem to me to be a question of not wanting to bother in any sense but a lack of its homonym:
Note that it isn’t “because I frankly don’t care.”
Could just tell the little guy that his birthday was last month. :eek:
My mom used to go all-out when it came to putting together little goodie bags for my birthday back in elementary school. Not that I don’t appreciate how awesome my mom was or anything, but she could go a bit over the top (“Should I get the milk chocolate or dark chocolate Hershey bars?”) and I was never that interested in it.
Anyway, my point (I swear I have one) is pretty much the same as the others: get something cheap, the kids will neither notice nor care. Brownies and Rice Krispie treats (especially when you mix in chocolate chips with them, which I’m craving right now) are always good.
My daughter’s birthday fell two days after she started kindergarten this year, and after buying clothes and school supplies for two kids, I had no money whatsoever to spend on treats or goodie bags. However, her teacher “thoughtfully” arranged the snack schedule so it was my turn to provide the class with snacks that day. Thank God for Little Debbie, is all I have to say. As far as I’m concerned, birthdays are something that should be celebrated with friends and family; I feel no obligation to spend a bunch of money buying geegaws and sugar for a bunch of random kids I’ve never met. For those of us living paycheck to paycheck who have to budget a month ahead to buy a freaking pair of shoes, that extra ten or fifteen bucks really is a big deal.
BTW, most schools will not let you send homemade goodies anymore; IIRC, they’re more concerned about hepatitis than food poisoning.
Next time you breed,do it in October-November.That way your kiddies will emerge in July or August.School’s out.No problem!
Since my birthday usually fell on the Thanksgiving weekend and was therefore overlooked during most of my school years and crushed my fra-gi-le self esteem, I would highly recommend just baking a cake or cupcakes for the class. For about $5 you can sugar up the class and make everyone happy.
Screw the goodie bags, which I haven’t seen done (yet) and would not do myself. That is just wrong.
What?
Where?
Ummmmmm, isn’t hepatitis spread through blood donor or say, swapping vital fluids and needle sharing?
Did I miss the memo?
Hit enter to soon.
I read that entirely wrong.
Coffee hasn’t hit the bloodstream yet.
Please ignore the part about hepatitis.
However, I haven’t seen in our district the ‘no baked goods’ and I hope I never will.
Well, I think any concern about needles or purposely contaiminated food in school is very misplaced - but I can understand that parents wouldn’t want the (nearly non-existant) risk.
Your son may think that every kid in the class brings in treats on his or her birthday and he may be telling you that every kid brings in something on his or her birthday, but I’m willing to bet that it isn’t true. At least some of the kids have summer birthdays, or birthdays that fall within the Christmas or Spring breaks. Some of the other kids have parents who can’t afford the time or money to send treats. Other kids will have families that don’t celebrate birthdays for religious reasons, or parents who prefer to keep birthday celebrations modest family affairs. I’ll bet no more than half of the kids participate in this silly custom. Certainly it’s no reflection on your parenting skills if you don’t want to bother with it. Tell your kid that your family just doesn’t have the extra money to spend this way. Or, if you really do want to participate, do it on the cheap. I second Queen Tonya’s suggestion of rice crispie treats – cheap, easy to make and transport, and, in my experience, popular with most kids.
First things first: JohnBckWLD, Rubystreak– I have no intention of accepting your kind offers. The thought that strangers could care enough about one of my problems to even say such a thing moves me to tears. Thank you both for your generosity.
Next, I must admit that I caved in to the pressure. Last night I bought 2 packs of party bags ($1.68), two bags of individually packaged M&Ms ($3.80), and a hulking great bag of generic crap mixed candies ($3.94). I turned out 35 little treat bags with about 7 pieces of candy in each, no trinkets or party favors. Cost: $9.42.
I guess I knew it was something I would have to do in order to not feel that terrible mother guilt. My apologies to you all for perpetuating this rotten trend. And thank you for understanding (for the most part) about those times in people’s lives when ten dollars can be so important.
A couple more things:
Baking. A much better and cheaper idea than what I wound up doing, but I have a good excuse! My mother/landlord is remodeling her/my kitchen in the hopes of finding someone to buy the house one of these days. So at this time, I have no countertops or sinks.
For those who are following The Continuing Adventures of Dung Beetle.
You know that thing I said in the other thread about not paying my bills in order to buy that book I desperately want? I wanted you to know I didn’t really do that.
In spite of vetizontal’s snarky litte comments, I can appreciate being in a financial situation where one cannot spend $10.00 on whatever, at this moment in time. I’ve been there; hell, I’m there right now! Having said that, if I were in the position that the OP is in, and decided to cave to the pressure, I’d have run down to the market and bought four boxes of Little Debbie brownies for a buck a box, and that would have been just fine!
As for the one-upmanship that goes on in these things, let me offer a little true story that might make you feel a bit better about things: I have an acquaintance (she thinks we’re friends, but since I get absolutely nothing out of the relationship, I don’t think we’re friends) who sends goodie bags in on Halloween, and they’re all-out goodie bags: decorated for Halloween, tied with two different colors of ribbons, real, name-brand candy, etc. She’s a terrible mom; yells and cusses at her kids all the time, emotionally neglectful, etc. I think she does the goodie bags at Halloween because it makes her feel like a good mom, at least for a little while. My own mom was the same way, making all kinds of grand gestures for appearances’ sake, while being verbally abusive at home. My point is, it’s not the gestures the world sees that count. It’s what your kids see that matters.
Honestly, if you lived up here and not in FL like your profile says, I’d bake the cupcakes myself (or mail them if there was more tirme). Being poor doesn’t make you a horrible parent. I know plenty of rich people that screwed over their kids terribly. Loving your kid and making them feel special on their birthday is more important than anything else. I always had a cake and gifts and was often miserable because my parents would fight on my birthday, just like any other day. I hope he has a happy birthday, as all eight year olds should.
Thanks, everyone. I’m happy to report that the boy himself is suffering no angst about this thing whatsoever; he’s just having a happy birthday. And y’all have made me feel lots better. Maybe I’ll buck the next ridiculous trend.