How Big A Jerk Could I Be As A Member Of Congress?

[loshan]

@Derleth

If you’re elected to the House, you could cane an opposing Senator to the point of sending him into years of therapy and still stand a chance at surviving your expulsion vote. Of course, the gentlemanly thing to do at that point is to resign, as one must maintain the standards of Southern chivalry and gentlemanly conduct.

(OK, there’s probably no way in Hell that would fly nowdays. Preston Brooks (D, SC) assaulted Charles Sumner (R, MA) in 1856, when the country was half-mad from the tensions that would lead to the Civil War, and Preston Brooks had a cane in the first place due to a duelling injury. These days, you might not even be able to get away with assaulting a journalist in the cloakroom of a private club, as Joe McCarthy did in 1950.)

A slight hijack - Charles Sumner was my great, great, great grandfather on my dad’s side.

[Ravenman]

@thelabdude

Being a part of the majority counts for a lot too. Not a single member of his party voted to remove a president that patently lied under oath to cover up a sordid little affair with an intern.

You seem to be a little confused. The Republican party held the majority in the Senate by a 55-45 margin, and yet could not convince a majority (much less 2/3rds) to convict on any of the counts.

[MeanOldLady]

You could heckle the President, and it would totally be cool.

[Drunky_Smurf]

@loshan

A slight hijack - Charles Sumner was my great, great, great grandfather on my dad’s side.

So you say?

Well my great, great, great-uncle on my mom’s side was Preston Brooks. Now where’d I leave my cane?

[astro]

Still a good story

The The Greatest Man in the World - By James Thurber

[AlsoNamedBort]

@shiftless

He’ll make up the rest with speaking fees for the rest of his life. The ability to tell an amusing anecdote about the time you threw up on the vice presidents shoes at a reception for the queen of England will take you far.

Not to mention it’ll make you a lock for Celebrity Apprentice (unless Donald is the pres) , Dancing With The Stars, and Celebrity Fit Club. And then your own show *House of Representin’ *

[Freddy_the_Pig]

The most recent poster child for jerkish behavior in Congress must surely be Representative (1985-2002) James Traficant of Ohio.

Traficant was known for his slovenly dress, unkempt toupee, and incoherent speeches, and although nominally a Democrat, managed to throughly antagonize the leadership of both parties. Far from preventing his reelection, these qualities played into his “man of the people” image, and he was reelected eight times, usually without serious opposition.

He couldn’t stay away from financial improprieties, though, and he was convicted and expelled from the House in 2002.

[thelabdude]

Not as a jerk, but as a thief.

[Captain_Amazing]

@MikeS

I’m not sure what, exactly, he was so worked up about, but obviously he didn’t much care for the tactics of the other side at the time.

Reconstruction bills.

[asterion]

@Procrustus

If you aren’t raising money for re-election, it’s a very easy job. You don’t actually have to do anything. You don’t have to introduce legilsation, you don’t have to attend committee hearings (but you might want to show up to have some fun), and you don’t even have to vote (which isn’t that hard either).

You have a staff that answers constituents’ letters. You can come in late and leave early. You don’t even have to show up at your office. You can hang out at the Senate Gym and no one can ask anything more of you.

Hey, I never said I wouldn’t take it seriously but just that I wasn’t worried about running for reelection or what others think about me. I would just try to act like Anthony Weiner on crack when on the floor and talking to the media.

Though I have to say House of Representin’ makes me think I should go into the chamber at least once dressed like President Camacho.

[Cheshire_Human]

@MeanOldLady

You could heckle the President, and it would totally be cool.

Reprimanded. Last one on the list of reprimanded Representatives. Whether or not it was cool, the other Congressclowns weren’t too cool with it.

[a35362]

“Malignant and mischievous men.” I like the sound of that!

[MeanOldLady]

Well that malignant and mischievous asshole is still there, and became somewhat of a Tea Bagger hero, so I’d say that’s the kind of assholery you can pull “without getting kicked out.”

[Cheshire_Human]

@MeanOldLady

Well that malignant and mischievous asshole is still there, and became somewhat of a Tea Bagger hero, so I’d say that’s the kind of assholery you can pull “without getting kicked out.”

Would you like me to go into the Democrats who are less than honorable, but nevertheless kept their seats in Congress? I can, you know. Asshollery is not limited to the party you don’t like. On the contrary, it seems to be a requirement for a seat, party notwithstanding.

[The_Seventh_Deadly_Finn]

Now, now, MeanOldLady and Cheshire Human, this is GQ! No casting of aspersions, please. We’re a civilized, decorous forum—not some den of hooliganism like, say, the US Congress.

[MeanOldLady]

Let’s hug it out.

Charlie Rangel is still there. See? I’m well aware that one’s ability to be a douche and remain in Congress is not partisan.

[thelabdude]

Were the moderators here to allow congressional grade behavior, I would be gone. Interesting thing was Gary Condit being forced out because somebody else killed his girlfriend.

[Cheshire_Human]

@MeanOldLady

Let’s hug it out.

Charlie Rangel is still there. See? I’m well aware that one’s ability to be a douche and remain in Congress is not partisan.

Ahhh. A woman after my own heart!

ETA: I forgot… Hugs!!!

[friedo]

@thelabdude

Were the moderators here to allow congressional grade behavior, I would be gone. Interesting thing was Gary Condit being forced out because somebody else killed his girlfriend.

Gary Condit lost his primary, he wasn’t forced out.

[Voluble]

You could rent out an entire South American brothel and ask to meet all of the angry young men of the left.

You could meet with the leader of a rival superpower and make offers to help him subvert your own country’s defense policies and prep him for negotiations.

You could leave someone to drown in the backseat of your car while you figure out how it all would affect your political career.

You could get drunk nearly every day and often on the floor of the Senate.

You could make waitress sandwiches with other senators.

You could grease the skids for Visas or green cards for the relatives of immigrants who are willing to sleep with you.

Your lover could run a prostitution ring out of your house and you could engineer the destruction of the entire housing industry in the US by implementing a policy whereby the US government will back any loan written to anyone regardless of ability to pay. And when asked how such a thing could end in anything other than tears you could simply brag about how you were willing to “roll the dice.” Then you could be re-elected. You could even use money given to you by the people who wrote the bogus loans in your campaign.

But all of this is only if you are from MA and your party owns the press. For other states and other parties your mileage may vary. So choose carefully young Skywalker!