I would tell the father that no reward was expected on my part and I would respect his families privacy reqardless. If he wants to give us a reward to make his wife happy, I would suggest $5,000 each with the understanding that the reward is entirely up to them and my actions before the meeting and afterwards are completely unrelated to any reward. Why would I suggest anything? It is just money and it apparently will make the wife feel better. In his situation I would be relieved to be able to give out a reward (5K would be a lot but he is richer than I am ) just to make myself feel better.
As far as I am concerned, the money isn’t a reward for saving the son, it is a payment to make the parents feel better. If it doesn’t do that, then no reward should be offered. Why 5K? No reason, it is just the first number that popped into my head. Enough to be significant to me without being a big deal to me. I am fine either way.
If it wasn’t for this, I wouldn’t have wanted a reward, now, I kinda want to soak the cold fucker for as much as he’ll pay. I’ll donate it all to Planned Parenthood, of course, but as many millions as I think I can get away with.
Actually, it’s not just the not thanking and asking, it’s the taking me aside and beginning from a position of initial distrust, that makes me dislike him already.
Not just to you, but to other folks with similar answers (either no money or insignificant sums): why? Do you feel that accepting a reward lessens the inherent goodness or nobility of the act? What other situations would you turn down rewards? What about monetary prizes that go along with academic or sports awards? What about the Nobel prize for peace? What if the same rich dude stopped you on the street, said he liked the cut of your jib, and wrote you a check for a hundred grand?
I’m not judging, mind you. It just seems to me that there are lots of situations where it’s considered perfectly acceptable to take what’s offered with both hands, but in this particular case (a noble deed done for noble reasons), there’s an idea that its intrinsic nobility is sullied if a reward is accepted.
If the wife insisted it wasn’t enough, I’d ask for a couple of thousand, and give it to charity. I would also gas up my car, go out to a really nice dinner, and send them a thank you note. And I’d ask them to send me a picture of their son when he gets out of the hospital.
I don’t want to be greedy, but when people want to be generous, it’s actually kind to let them, especially when you know they have the ability to do so.
There’s a difference in my mind between accepting a reward and asking for one, even if the hypothetical laid out in the OP makes that line razor thin. If a reward is offered, and it seems reasonable, and I’m reasonably convinced that there are no strings attached (I don’t want to find out years later that the father is connected to organized crime and expects something for his payment), I might take it. But asking for one makes me feel slimy. “Look at steronz,” everyone will say, “he did that awesome thing and didn’t ask for a dime in return. Let’s write songs about him.”
Prize money is different because that’s all laid out well in advance. Even if it’s for the greater good, like winning some sort of X prize for cancer research, it’s all spelled out and you know that the money is a reasonable motivator but not the only motivation.
Some guy who likes the cut of my jib and wants to give me 100 grand raises all kinds of alarm bells and would make me run and hide. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life.
In that case, I want the aforementioned admission from him and then, because I am already a demonstrably wonderful guy, contact the wife from time to time to see how her son is getting on with his recovery.
You know, I honestly don’t know. I can’t say with 100% certainty I would decline the award, but I think I would. But I’m sure my wife could convince me into naming some kind of number. I wouldn’t accept a reward for, say, a lost dog. I’ve declined $200-$300 tips in the past on my work. For me, I just feel icky accepting an reward or, worse, naming a price for something I should not need financial incentive to do. But if, say, rich woman set up a scholarship fund for my kids or something like that, I guess I wouldn’t object too vociferously. But I’m certainly not naming a price. I’m not sure if the logic of it all works, but that’s how I grew up.
I just mean a hypothetical and crazy situation where a mysterious (loony) rich person wants to give you a lot of money for something inconsequential that you’ve done, presumably free of any strings other than the expectations you create on your own.
) just to make myself feel better.