Very petite women tend to look much younger and even child-like at times. It’s hard to look like an “adult” if I can physically pick you up and effortlessly carry you like a football.
For men, IMHO the short “buzz cut” sort of haircut like the OP has in that photo tends to make them look older. It’s never particularly attractive or flattering. It’s just sort of “I want my hair high and tight so I don’t have to think about it”. It can come across as severe in a sort of former drill sergeant mean dad sort of way.
I agree with this. If I had to guess I’d say you’re in your 30s but you don’t look haggard or anything like that.
You do need to realize that green Christmas sweater is the very definition of frumpy, though. Thick fat sweaters are usually frumpy on everyone, unless you are a tall and skinny supermodel.
You keep bringing up how your clothes “fit” on you, and I wanted to poke that a little.
If you have the time/money/interest, get recommendations from the women in your life about a local tailor, and take some of your ‘nicely fitting’ things in to them, and have them see if they can make the articles of clothing you already have fit more cleanly to your body.
Modern looks are very slim against the body, and most off-the rack clothing (even knitwear) doesn’t quite fit anyone exactly. It’s usually a lot more noticeable on women than men, but on occasion, you’ll get a guy who just doesn’t fit in with the mass-market tailoring scheme.
If you go in with clothes that you already know you like, then you’re more likely to be comfortable with a snugger fit from them. After that, you may want to try looking for more snugly fitted items in future, which will heighten the whole young person look.
If one random person thinks you look older it’s nothing to worry about. My youngest brother once got mistaken for our then five-year-old niece’s father. He was a baby-faced 13-year-old at the time. :rolleyes:
awwww, look at the cute lil’ kitteh… wait, I’m looking at the wrong Fuzzy
If I had looked at your picture without knowing the backstory, I’d have pegged you at around 30 anyway. Especially with a shave and the sweaters you normally wear; they aren’t that much different from what my 27 and 31 year-old male coworkers wear.
By chance, was the doofus who thought your friend was your daughter one of middle-aged “teasing grandpa” types? They groove on poking fun at anyone, no matter how inappropriate, insulting, or just plain stupid they sound and you can’t change them because they are just the Pinnacle of Wit in their own minds.
Well based on the OP I expected you to look a lot older in your pick. Seeing you, even in your moose sweater, I would assume you were younger than me by at least a few years and I’m 38, so certainly not old enough to be father to a 24 year old.
I agree with what other people have posted - your glasses frames are quite aging - perhaps swap them out for something a bit more fashion forward.
Finally, I wouldn’t worry too much about it - last week a woman asked me at a store if my grandson was getting married. The only reason I didn’t stab her is because moments before she asked my 5’ tall chinese companion and my 6’4" caucasian companion if they were brother and sister. She was…not so bright.
This might sound like a stupid joke but I’m totally serious - any ideas how to look less stressed without actually being less stressed? When the picture was taken my dad was in a brain trauma unit after a head injury, but 5 months later between work and family demands the stress level has not decreased at all. I’d love to not project it so much visually. Any ideas short of xanax, alcohol or pot?
Thank you! If the consensus was I looked early 30s I would not really be very upset. I’d probably still take some tips from this thread and try to implement them but I wouldn’t be bothered by looking early 30s. I think I’ve always looked about 5 years older than my actual age.
I completely agree with you and never ever wore my hair short until it all started falling out. I just feel longer hair would really accentuate how bald I am and a classic balding hair cut definitely does not help one look younger.
I actually sort of picked that sweater picture because it’s the very definition of frumpy. I dont mean to imply I gave it more thought than I did, because I posted it 20 minutes after being asked for a picture. But the logic was sort of "well this is as frumpy and old as I ever dress". Might not have been ideal in retrospect but I didnt want to post something and imply I wear it all the time. For instance, I do dress pretty formally on work days, but the guy I mentioned in my first post has never seen me except in work jeans and t-shirts with paint on them, and he still thought I was old.
I will definitely look into fit more and get some opinions. If I’ve seemed at all dismissive of the advice it’s only because, as much as I appreciate all the help everyone has given, I’m not really comfortable posting a bunch more pictures of myself. From parsing together all the suggestions I actually suspect that it’s more the colors and patterns that are too staid than the fit. I wear a lot of basic stuff. Actually my theory had always been that I’ll wear basic classic colors and patterns that appeal to me, but make sure they are a more modern fit and I’ll look good… so maybe that’s not working out so well.
I actually have recently lost 65 pounds and counting… a little bit less than that as of Christmas when the photo was taken.
I’ve gotten similar comments (though less extreme) from others so it’s definitely not limited to this one guy. That said, the worst part for me was that he was clearly in his 30s at the minimum and has four kids from age 2 to I think 6. A dad with young kids thinking I have an adult daughter just seems worse somehow.
My oldest sister and I (she is 13 years older, 50 pounds lighter, and 3 inches shorter) constantly get asked if we’re twins whenever we’re out together so there’s plenty of doofus-ness to go around.
Maybe it’s just my monitor, but it does look like you’re going a bit grey on the side? That can age people a depressing amount- last year, my brother came up to visit me- he has the same issue, was the week before his 30th. He was just nipping back to my house to get something, when one of my friends came up, and asked who that I was just talking to was, guy was. I said he was my bro, and she replied, ‘Oh good, I thought he was a bit old for you!’ We were both 27 at the time. Her previous boyfriend (and, come to think of it, her following one too) was 47. My bro pretty much follows all the dress advice given in this thread, but the greying hair is the thing a lot of people think ages people dramatically. I know you can’t really dye hair that short and make it look good, but it can look a lot more obvious than the receding-ness.
Mind you, a few months earlier, my bro went to visit my parents, went on a boat ride, and got asked if he wanted a child pass… Which would be for under 14s. Some people are just plain silly.
I’d like to add that I support your haircut. A short all-over buzz is my favorite haircut when a guy is balding (fully shaved only looks good on some guys).
Congrats on the recent weight loss. You probably look much younger now than you did!
And really, don’t worry about it too much. While most people think I am younger than my current age (25), by up to 10 years, and IMHO I definitely do not look older than mid-20s, I have also had plenty of people assume I am in my early to late 30s (probably more because of the way I dress and speak, and the fact that my boyfriend is many years older than me - I don’t have any wrinkles or gray hair etc). People have a really hard time estimating ages, and some people are extra-clueless.
Are you using Rogaine? If it doesn’t start to work by (what’s the average, 6-8 weeks?) get thyself to your doctor and ask for the prescription grade stuff. Balding/receeding = old to most everyone, no matter what. I’m 24, and you look mid to late 30’s to me because of the hair and the sweater…and your physique. Congrats on the weight loss so far, keep it up!
Also, I wouldn’t worry about age thing too much. I was asked for ID into a rated R movie not long ago. I was shocked but shrugged it off. Normally I’m pegged at 21.
Keep up the Jcrew stuff though. Get yourself some quality jeans, from Jcrew or Gap too. I don’t think you need anything over $100 though.
You have me worried so I’m going to ask someone now, but I’m almost certain it’s just a light blonde. It used to be incredibly blonde, almost white, and like most people got much darker as I got older.. but there’s still some very light parts.
Thank you and thank you. The hair, I feel like I’m just making it comfortable while it dies. It’s frustrating but I think it’s the best I can do.
I was complaining about a pair of pants being really loose on me a few months ago and my friends all said, “oh, that’s how men’s pants fit!”. Then last weekend I was wearing a new pair of pants that are much slimmer and I happen to love on me, and the same friends all complimented how nice they made legs look, unsolicited. So I think it would be good for me to take the advice in this thread about style and fit. I should try and find a local friend willing to give a little effort and help me out.
Years ago I spent a few thousand dollars having excessive body hair lasered off. I always sort of laugh at guys who say “pfft! There’s no way I’d bother trimming my chest hair! I’m a man!”, because those guys never seem to actually have much. So trust me, I wasn’t being skittish about body hair, I was really excessively hirsute. It was a lot of money for a 19 year old making ends meet on his own and it’s probably the best thing I ever spent money on. I’m so much more comfortable with my body now.
Point being, at the time the doctor warned me that if I ever started losing the hair on the top of my head, that he often saw propecia cause undesired body hair growth on men who were already prone to it. So about a year ago I tried propecia for a month and noticed exactly that and stopped taking it. Unfortunately the rogaine alone wasn’t helpful. So I’m sort of stuck.
I wear contacts as much as I can but I have discomfort problems with them that we haven’t been able to fully fix. Apparently my cornea is too thin and astigmatism too severe for lasik or PRK. I saw someone for an evaluation recently and she said that within a few months the FDA would be approving a procedure where for about $8000 they’ll cut my eye open and stick in an implant. So… I think I’m going to let them work the kinks out of that procedure for a while before trying it.
Gotchta. Hey, at you’ve tried it, which is more than most people can say. Have you tried Rogaine foam? I have a friend who never had luck with the regular stuff but has with the foam. No idea why.
IANAD, but these are the best and cheapest I’ve found. Dailies that cost only $18/month. They have a thing where you select your current brand and they recommend which of their two offerings you should use. If you don’t like what they send you they’ll send you their other offering for free. I tried them for $18 and love them.
Definitely. Also, the pain from PRK is preeeetty bad. My brother had it and…yeah. It was pretty awful.
Thick fat sweaters are usually frumpy on everyone, unless you are a tall and skinny supermodel.
