When you hop out the window, go up, instead.
You want sureal? Let me introduce you to my family. Actually, I’ld be willing to donate them–yeah, that’s the ticket (will you buy them a ticket?) Never mind, I’ll send them C.O.D. I’m sure you’ll get along swimmingly (the Ilse of Man is an Island isn’t it? So there must be swimming, right?). Expect a package soon. 
Get yourself out to the closest library or bookstore and pick up some Philip K. Dick books. Surreal, paranoid, phenomenal.
Have a conversation with a parrot. The grey ones often have just enough command of English to weird you out. But they won’t talk unless they like you. So your first surreal task would be to convince a parrot you are likeable. They seem to respond to acoustic guitar and interpretive dance.
Or your pecker.
Anastasaeon, meet vibrotronica. vibrotronica, Anastasaeon.
Ask a stranger for their autograph.
(This happened to me when I went to see Hitchhiker’s Guide last week. Only it was a group of little kids who asked me. Now that was surreal.)
Well, now, it’s not every day you find a real live Tentacle Monster at the movies. I’d have asked for an autograph too.
aaaaa! I would disagree and NOT recommend this book. IMHO, it tries to be all deep, but winds up square in hippy liberal arts bullshit category (but maybe I’m overextended, being at a very liberal school). One of the suggestions is to drink a glass of water while you pee on the premise that you will imagine yourself as a simple intake-output machine. I tried drinking while I peed. No great shakes. It’s also got suggestions like, “close your eyes in the shower. wonder where the water is coming from” and “turn the lights to pitch black and feel your way around the room to better appreciate space and vision”. Blah.
My suggestions:
Sit in a coffeeshop or campus center or bus terminal with a notebook. Draw passersby. Exentuate what makes them unique.
If you can, go a whole week without talking. I had a professor once who claimed that the first two days are hard but, after that hump, your mind starts churning on overdrive.
Talk to strangers. Don’t hit on them- if you have an end in mind, it defeats the purpose.
Read “Ishmael”, “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”,“Thus Spake Zarathustra”, or anything by the Russian writer Gogol.
Wear bright colors that clash, like orange pants and a purple sweater.
Bring colored chalk sticks outside and draw on the sidewalk.
Smile.
A fish.
Brilliant!
Try talking backwards. It really wierds people out.
I’d suggest masturbating in a tree but that’s almost certainly illegal. Unless you happen to have a tree of your own into which you can climb. Just be careful.
CD, not everyone round here conforms to the view that possession of a functioning penis and testicles disqualifies someone from being a girl.
- Take a trip to a foreign country. A country where you speak some of the language, but aren’t really fluent in the culture, would be best.
You’ll have plenty of experiences that will strike you as very surreal.
If you can, stay there for at least a couple of months. Let your language skills improve. You may even start to make some friends in the country you visit. When you come home again, the place you call “home” will seem kind of surreal.
Oddly enough, readjusting to your native place is, in some ways, a more surreal experience than getting used to a new place is.
Wednesday) Think of site-specific works you could make out of nooks, crannies, that busted tire by the side of the road, and other random and/or non-intended structures in the places you go. Maybe that pothole you drive over on the way to work is actually a large salad bowl built into the road. Try making a large tossed salad (I recommend Cesar salad, just because it’s yummy) and offering servings of it to passers-by. Or maybe that pothole is a small lake, complete with a paper boat regatta, just waiting to happen. Piles of boxes behind street vendor stalls are just begging to become mountains, complete with model explorers and flags that claim this land in the name of Spain.
Roto-Rooter cranberry tungsten) Strap an old rotary-dial telephone to your chest. Walk around in public taking calls. Warning: the reception might not be as good as you might get from a more modern push button phone. If you’re getting hungry and your phone doesn’t work, walk up to a random person on the street and order a pizza. Extra medium, no crust, hold the lightbulbs.
Just watch the evening news, that always does it for me.
For some reason I was thinking of this thread when i couldn’t sleep last night, so here are some ideas I came up with.
Make an entirely blue lunch. Using food coloring, dye all of your lunch items blue. Even the glass of water. Then eat it in the lunchroom at work on a blue plate using a blue fork and knife.
If you work in a cubicle, cover the entire interior with Mylar to make it a mini Hall Of Mirrors.
Make some clothing out of non-traditional materials and wear them to the park. I am thinking astroturf pants and burlap shirt. or make an astroturf suit and go lay in the grass for a while.
I had more but I can’t think of them now…
I’d like your two breast combo, please.
Rent a bunny costume. One of those full body, you don’t see the person inside jobs.
Then walk around town in the bunny suit. Ride the bus go to the park do what ever.
Or just have children.
Take off all your clothes and then absolutely refuse to wear clothes again no matter what happens.
Join the Church of Scientology.
[QUOTE=rjung]
To steal from Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller, try buying Jello (or some other dessert) for a stranger at a diner. Heck, buy it for all of them.QUOTE]
In a similer mode Salvidore Dali was once quoted as saying that whenever he ordered his lunch he was disappointed that he didn’t receive a flaming phonebook.
So, nex time you go out to lunch take a phonebook, a container of lighter fluid and a lighter. What you do from there is up to you.
Hey, you are the one who wanted the surreal life!